Illuminati
by Lilith Filth
Summary: Wild Hearts in Love Always Stop Beating
1. Drowning Lessons

**Author's Note:** It's baaaaack! Oh no!, just when you thought it was over...just when you thought you were rid of me! **Just when you thought the long chapters and the drama were gone, it comes back and it bites you in the ass with a sequel! Illuminati!**. This is it, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you again for the support given in Nocturnal Pulse. I hope the new story is to your liking. This story is a little short, and for that I'm sorry. If you want me to write more...pray for a snowday for me! heh. **Twilight and it's characters are not of my imagination but of the brilliant Stephenie Meyer's! **Happy reading/writing and much love! Wooh!

**1. DROWNING LESSONS**

I gasped. And when I breathed, it felt like the air going into my lungs was chlorine gas. It stung. It burned. My body shook barbarically. Everywhere I looked was hell. A dangerous vertigo. A cremation of my live body. A strong burning that I had only felt once before was scorching through my veins. It was fine at first. Numbing. Cold. And then the fire started. And it wouldn't go away. The pain was so much, I couldn't speak. I breathed quickly. Raspily. Like a person dying of hypothermia. But I felt like I was being torched.

"Edward..." I cried. I couldn't hear my own voice. My back arched and my nails dug into cold bed sheets. Where was I?

"Shh...I'm here, love. I'm here.." He stroked my hair back from my pasty face.

"Edward? I can't see you...I can't- I can't see..." I whispered. His voice sounded so far away. Everything was so far away. I screamed loudly. The pain. It was unbelievable.

"Oh god, Bella...I'm so sorry..this was a mistake. This was a mistake...This was a mistake...what have I done?"

"No.." I shook my head. I wanted to explain to him. I wanted to tell him that it's all I wanted. But I couldn't. "Don't leave me..." I whispered. I couldn't see him. Everything was spinning. But I felt the gentle brushing of his hand on my face stop.

"Leave you?" He chuckled lightly. His voice sounded pained. "How could I leave you? I turned you just so you could be mine again. To have you back from Carlisle...I could never leave you now..."

"No.." I said and it hurt to say it. I was never Carlisle's. I was just a fool. Unworthy of his love. So much that I still needed to explain to him, and no strength or composure to do it with. I screamed again. Was it possible for the agony of the venom and my betrayal of Edward to combine? My head began to throb. I tossed my head to the side and screamed into the pillow.

"Bella?...Bella!" He yelled. My body began to shake viciously. And though my pain nearly impaired me to do anything but cry out in agony, I heard another voice.

"Edward? Edward, you here?"

"Emmet! Emmet, Help me!" Edward yelled. I felt his strong arms pin me down to the bed. I felt so...outside myself. But I could still hear the sound of my voice.

"Stop! Make it stop, please!"

Emmet came running up the stairs and to the guest room of the house. The house that would never be a home again, because of me.

"...God...Edward..."

"Help!" He shouted. Emmet ran to the bedside and looked down at me. He gently turned my face to the side and beheld the gash on my neck.

"She's going into shock...Edward...I think you took too much blood..."

"I know!" He roared. I could hear the fear in his voice. "Hold her down!"

At once I felt strong arms press me into the silky mattress. I couldn't fight against them. And though I knew that if I tried, I'd probably end up bruising myself against him, I couldn't stop flailing. I felt cold hands on my face that made me gasp.

"God, she doesn't look good..." Emmet said. He sounded panicked as well.

"Bella? Bella! Bella, sweetheart, look at me! Look!"

"E-Edward?.." I mumbled. I almost forgot he was here. I was lost in my own torment. How could such pain exist when he was here? Edward made everything wonderful.

"That's right...I'm here."

"Don't le-"

"Don't speak..I'm not leaving. I need for you to keep your eyes open...good girl. Look at me..." He spoke. "Take deep breaths.." He instructed. It reminded me of a time when I was 5 and my mom took me to the pool for the first time to get me swimming lessons. I almost drowned that day. I went under and didn't come up for almost a minute. When I did surface, I coughed, choked and sputtered on water. A minute felt like an eternity when you couldn't breathe. And then it occurred to me. This would be one of the last few days that I would actually breathe. The thought scared me so much now, I could barely do it.

"There...there...shh...there you go angel...you're okay..you're okay..." He whispered. Emmet released my quivering body. My only method of concentration was staring my beautiful Edward in the eyes. Wondering if his eyes would be this warm and lovely to me when I was reborn a vampire..Or would he then grant me the scorn I deserved?

"Mmm...why don't you just let the harlot suffer? God knows she deserves it." A feminine voice rang from the door, causing Edward to turn his head. No..I needed his eyes. The flood of agony came back.

"Shut up Rosalie!" Edward rang. The fighting..I couldn't take it. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the thunder rolling outside. The wind trying to blow in the glass windows. I imagined that glass imploding into the room. And that every shard flew in my direction. Cutting into me. Cutting me to pieces. That's what it felt like...that's what I deserved.

"You know it's true!" she barked. Leaning against the doorframe. "Don't you see the destruction she's done to this family tonight? She had sex with Carlisle! In his and Esme's bed for all we know.."

"We couldn't find her anywhere..." Emmet said in a weak effort to change the subject and make peace.

"Is this the girl you fell in love with, Edward? Is she still the wonderful 'angel' you met in biology class a year ago? A homewrecker, a liar, a cheat?"

"No..." Edward muttered. Rosalie looked shocked at how quickly Edward gave up on the argument.

"Then why, Edward? I'm not too peachy on being a vampire myself...but _she! _She doesn't deserve to live...let alone, live forever..."

"Because I love her..."

"Have you no self respect?! No shame?!" Rosalie shouted. Edward shook his head.

"No...I don't...not anymore...she's wronged me...but I can't stop Rosalie..." He whispered. He stared at me again. He brushed the hair from my face.

"I'm hers...I can't stop loving her. I promised I'd never leave..And I can't."

"Oh, you _promised_ huh? Well, I don't know about you, but I believe there are circumstances in which binding promises can be broken."

"That's enough Rose.." Emmet spoke. He looked down at me with pity. Hate. He should have been looking at me with hate. Rosalie glared at her husband before exiting the room. There was a long silence with nothing but the sound of me trying not to cry out.

"Edward?..." Emmet whispered lightly. He looked to me and then back at him. His lips moved quickly but I heard no sound.

"He can burn in hell...You should hope he _doesn't_ come back...for his sake..." Edward's jaw went rigid before he turned his attention back on me . His eyes weren't helping anymore. I started yelling again. Every movement I made induced a flame all through me. My eyes began to tear. I felt like a hot hand of iron was taking tight hold of my neck and squeezing hard. Like lava was being poured onto my chest. I began to tear at my shirt. It felt like my air supply was gone entirely. I choked. I'm sure I was turning blue. Air. Gone. I reached for Edward. He took tight hold of my hand.

"Bella, shh...you're just scared. You're just scared. Look at me. You're okay."

I coughed more. It made my head throb. I tried sitting up, but Edward pushed me back down.

"Edward...I wish-"

"You need to save your strength, love. Stay quie-"

"No!" I yelled hoarsely. I took deep breaths. I felt like I was on my death bed. Technically I was. So I had to tell him everything.

"I love you so much...and I'm sorry...I'm sorry...please...forgive me Edward...please. I don't know what happ-" The auburn haired prince closed his eyes and shook his head.

"Just close your eyes...and try to relax"

I closed my eyes. I tried to relax. But I spent the whole night awake. Screaming. Crying. Hoping for this whole ordeal to be over. And wondering what was really binding Edward to me? His love, his promise, or the fact that he knew I needed him now more than ever?

My eyes were burning. Not a wink slept. I found a way to sit up in bed as soon as Edward's back was turned to get a cold, wet cloth for my head. Nothing helped. All that comforted me in the slightest was looking at him. Holding him. And thinking that perhaps he would forgive me for the things I had done. The little bit of light that shone through the grey clouds found my eyes. Making me squint. Making my head hurt even more. Edward lay on the bed beside me. Unsleeping, but eyes closed. I left him be. This was the longest I had stayed quiet since my transformation. He didn't need sleep, but he must have missed the tranquility of calmness. And before my sight could fathom what was happening, he reached his hand up and stroked my face. He stared at me shaking. Bleeding from my arms from trying to scratch the venom out of my veins. Last night was agony in it's purest form.

"This was a mistake..." He said softly. He looked as if he may cry. "How could I do this?..I've killed you...I've killed you...How could I have messed up this badly? I should have never done this to you.." He was a wreck as well. It was a somber thing to see. I stared at him. Until I felt a pain. Like a dagger being shoved into my stomach and then twisted. I screamed loudly before I slipped from the bed. I couldn't walk. My legs crashed from under me. Edward rushed to me and quickly dragged me to the bathroom of the guestroom where I held my head over the toilet and spilled the contents of my stomach. Disgusting. Blood. Bits of skin from my stomach. It scorched my throat. Then the knife pulled out. I lifted my head and took more deep, rapid breaths. Edward stepped a little closer.

"Oh no..." he whimpered. He pulled my hair back from my face. I pushed him on the leg weakly. I didn't want him to see me like this. The knife shoved back in. This time it was heated. I threw up again ferociously. Shaking my body. I puked until my chestbones felt like they were going to break into my body.

"Water..." I whispered from my chapped lips. Edward heard me clearly. He picked up a glass that sat on the counter, rinsed it out and filled it with cold water before placing it to my lips and helping me pour the cold liquid down my throat. It felt nice. I gulped back as many mouthfulls as I could before giving the glass back.

"Are you okay?" He whispered. He touched my face. I closed my eyes and let my head go limp in his hands. I nodded weakly. I spoke too soon. I pulled myself from Edward unwillingly once more and threw up again. Water and stomach acid. It was awful. I groaned.

"Mm..it's working.." He said with a tinge of fear. When my stomach decided to give me a break I looked up at him.

"The venom. Your body is trying to reject all the things it doesn't need anymore...he whispered. He got another cold rag and drenched it with cold water before wiping my face clean. He kneeled before me and placed cold kisses on my cheeks and forehead.

"There's no turning back now.." He said.

"I wasn't about to..." I croaked. I leaned into him. Rejoicing in how wonderful he felt.

"No..." He said in a strangely scornful tone. It made me pull from his chest and look up at him."You've worked too hard to become what you're becoming..." He muttered. He lifted me gracefully from the floor and carried me to the bedroom where he lay me on the soft sheets. I curled myself into the fetal position and clenched my nails against the pillows when I felt pain. Grinded my teeth. I meditated on what Edward said before laying me down and sitting in a chair across from me. Looking worried to death. Regretful. Ashamed. Hurt

_Will you never forgive me? _


	2. Choke

**Author's Note:** Another short chapter. Sorry guys. Blame work and school. Trust me, I wish I could sit before the computer all day and write if I had the choice. But seriously..it's 1 in the morning now...and I wanted to make this chapter longer...but I'm so tired...I can't. But I PROMISE long chapters are a'commin' after this! I just need the time. **Thanks again for the great reviews**. People are being nice to me now that Carlisle and Bella aren't really together anymore. Is it wrong that I kinda miss the negative attention? Another note, I actually didn't know that 'Drowning Lessons' Was the name of a My Chemical Romance song. That's pretty damn cool. I should listen to them more often! Ah well, **I do not own Twilight. I am not Stephenie Meyer under an alias name that's writing taboo fanfics to piss my fans off... **-shifty eyes- nope...not at all. Happy reading/writing and Much love! **PS: **Please ignore the spelling errors. I'm running on zero right now..merci -kiss kiss- **PSS: This ... is called an _ellipsis._**I use them a lot in my writing as you may or may not have noticed. They can be used in two ways. To convey a pause, or to indicate that there is more that was said after the initial statement that you wished to get across, but the rest didn't really matter. I personally use them for pauses. I think it just makes the conversations seem more natural. Sorry for the long Author's note! Pfft..as if anyone ever reads them anyways. Haha. Enjoy the chapter!

**2. CHOKE**

I screamed for the thousandth time. My teeth clenched to the point where I thought they should have cracked by now. Edward's strong arms pinned me down. Sweat rolled down my face from my temples. This was unbearable. It was like being killed over and over again.

"Just one more night, darling..." Edward whispered. I took in his words but couldn't stop crying

_Just one more night. Everything will be fine in one more night. You won't even know what pain is ever again after tonight. _

The thought made nothing better. I was weak. Ever so weak. And part of me just wanted to die for real. Just to get the pain over with. Emmet had to save me from myself yesterday when I held a letter opener to my chest. I coughed and let my limp head rest against the headboard of the bed that I had been confined to as of late. Edward lovingly dabbed my face with ice water and hummed my lullaby to me. But he would never get too close. He would never kiss my lips. Only my cheeks. My forehead. And he never held me for long periods of time. Not unless I asked. The chill of his body put me to ease. Minimal as it was. It reminded me of the time I ran to Italy to save him. When he held me, he held me tightly but with caution. Because we didn't know what we were to each other anymore after being separated for so long. But this...this was worse. This was the pinnacle of my transformation. In only a fortnight, he wouldn't know what to do with me. I sobbed a little at this and turned my head lazily to the side. I caught my reflection in a large mirror on the wall to the right of me. Hideous. My eyes were glazed over. Still the same, boring brown. My hair was clumped together behind my head in thick tresses. My lips chapped. Sores on my arms and neck from clawing at myself. How did Edward deal with the smell of my blood? I guess I wasn't as 'appetizing' to him now that I've slept with his father figure. Serves me right.

"I... need a bath.." I mumbled. Edward frowned in distress as he always did now when he looked at me.

"You're so weak...can you?"

"I have to...maybe some clean clothes will..make me f-feel a little-" And then I screamed. Making Edward rush to my side and pull me close to him. He ran his fingers through my hair.

"You can't.." He whispered. But I knew what he meant. I _could _have my bath...but I would need help. And he couldn't give it. He still couldn't bear to see me without clothing. Not that I'd want him to, with me looking like this. Where was Alice? She had helped me so much after I broke my leg. I needed her now.

"Please..." I begged. "Just take me to the bathroom. I can do it..The pain isn't that bad anymore..." I lied. And my body took it's vengeance by sending a surge of pain cascading through my brain and down to the nerves in my toes. I closed my eyes tight and bit down on my lip until I could practically hear the pop of skin breaking. Edward winced as if he too heard it. He kissed me on the top of my head and lifted me nimbly from the bed. He carried me into the bathroom and placed gently on the floor before the tub. He didn't let go of me. I wished he never would. He released me only when he saw that I was safely balanced while standing there.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah..I'm okay." He looked at me a while longer. Standing ever so close to me. I wonder what he saw in me when he saw me now.

"_Is this the girl you fell in love with, Edward? Is she still the wonderful 'angel' you met in biology class a year ago? A homewrecker, a liar, a cheat?"_

"_No..."_

I closed my eyes tightly and tried not to remember those words. That was the most painful night of my life...for two different reasons. When I opened my eyes he was still staring at me. This was the longest we had made eye contact in two days. He raised his hand slowly and reached out just as tediously to touch my face. When his palm made contact with my flesh I closed my eyes and all pain was gone. I wanted to apologize to him again. For everything. Even for the fact that he bit me. These were not the circumstances I wanted to be immortalized under.

"Edward..." I began with a whisper. Edward must have known what I was about to say. His back straightened out like a cat's. His eyes lost their warmth. His jaw clenched and then he lowered his head before turning around and walking out the door. Tears slid down my face as he closed the door. The loss of Edward's touch and another spasm of venom surging through my veins brought me to my knees before the large porcelain tub.

My shaky hand reached for the silver knob. The 'cold' knob. I turned that knob and no other. Just cold. I wanted the water to freeze me alive. I sat and waited at the foot of the tub for the water to fill up to a reasonable amount before using the side to hoist myself up and turn the knob off. I could feel the chill radiating off the water and cooling the air. I looked at my reflection swaying. Crying. I stripped myself of the clothes I had been wearing two nights ago. Dirty with mud, soot and blood. My hand gripped onto whatever was steady and within arms reach before raising my quivering leg in the air and placing it in the tub. The coldness of it was electricity through my body. But I desperately needed it. Once the second foot was in I stood shaking in the tub. Holding myself. Preparing my body for the last plunge. I bent myself down and got hold of the two sides of the bath and lowered myself carefully into the icy water. My eyes opened wide. I gasped deeply, sending another burst of air down my dry and burnt throat. My body shook terribly at first. And then the water felt nice. Calming. For once since my bite, my head didn't throb as hard the venom in my veins decided to take a small break and pause where it was. Lovely. I closed the drapes that were provided and closed my eyes.

I thought of memories. Of fishing with my father down at La Push. Building my motorcycle with Jacob. Shopping with Angela and Jess. Watching Phil play baseball with Rene...watching the Cullens play the same sport in the dead of night with thunder rolling in the distance. I wound never get to do any of that ever again. Ever. All this time while I was living here in Forks, I always told Edward I wouldn't mind giving up my mortal memories. Because I would build new ones with the Cullens. In this bright, cozy, home. Now that I didn't have that left, what did I have? I cupped my hands together and gathered water in my hands that I then splashed on my face and in my hair. Then I felt something. A tugging at my heart. My clenched hand went to my chest. I tried to breathe deeply as Edward said, but I couldn't. I felt like I was getting a spinal tap with a hot needle. All down the center of my back was aflame. I screamed loudly and closed my eyes. I clutched at the edge of the perfect white tub and wailed. I felt nauseous, but I refused to let myself throw up again. There was nowhere to do that right now. My head tilted back and my eyes burned.

"Bella!" I heard Edward call from outside. In no time he was in the bathroom with me. Sounding panicked.

"Are you okay?" He shouted. I opened my mouth to answer but the pain impaired me.

"I-"

"Shit!" He muttered. "I'll get Rosalie!" He began.

"No..." I said as best I could. "I'm okay..."

"You're not. You need to get back to bed."

"Please, love. I'm okay. Just...let me rest here. Please." I breathed in deeply. Beginning to calm down. I let my hand slip from the bath and fall with a splash into the water. Then there was absolute silence except the sound of water dripping and echoing through the bathroom.

"But don't leave." I spoke quickly. There was still silence after that. I parted the shower curtains enough to peek through. I saw him standing in the center of the room. Hands in his pockets. Looking at the floor morosely. I stared at him before I felt a pricking in my neck. I slid my body deeper into the tub so I was laying down in it. Bearing the pain.

"How many?" I heard a deep voice ask. I sat up.

"What?"

"How many times?"

"What do you-"

"How many times did you sleep with him?" He snapped. My heart stuttered as it did many times with Edward. This time, it hurt and caused me to gasp and grab my chest again. I closed my eyes. How was I supposed to answer him? And he _did _want an answer.

_No more lying.. No more hiding. _

"Twice..." I whispered. Being choked by impending tears. There was more silence. More burning. And I couldn't do anything about either.

"Twice..." He repeated after a long time. "And that's it?" He asked. He asked as if he _knew_ there was more.

"And once more...the first time...but he didn't-"

"He didn't have time...to get to you...before I knocked on the bathroom door.." He concluded. The acid in my stomach was rising with fear. I took deep breaths to keep it down. He knew. He knew that the night of the snowball fight was the night my nightmares begun.

"But..that doesn't include the day you crashed your bike...when he first made the moves on you...I guess you had nothing to do with that little detail. You were still..._helpless_ then. Innocent." He said with a harsh tone. Then there was another long silence. " How stupid am I?..." He breathed.

"Not stupid..." I whispered. Fighting the pain that was arising again. "Just a wonderful man..that trusted his girlfriend too much.."

"Who couldn't satisfy her so she had to run into the arms of his father.." He jested.

"Edward..."

"Twice!" He added.

"The last time was a mistake! I was dreaming! I mean- I-I thought I was dreaming-" I clenched at my stomach. This was not working. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

"Oh- I'm sorry! I shouldn't have brought up the last time when I caught you guys because you thought you were only _dreaming _of sleeping with my best friend. Pardon me!" Then I heard the wood of the door crack. I felt the gust of the wind from the bedroom rush in. With all my strength I stood up in the tub. Not bothering to dry myself off, I threw on my robe and wobbled out of the bathroom. Holding onto whatever I could to keep me up. The door and splinters of it lay haphazardly about the bathroom and bedroom floor.

"Edward, I came upstairs that night to see Carlisle-"

"Of course!" He spat.

"To tell him to let Esme know the truth! Because I was going to tell you! But when I came up they were fighting. So I went down the hall to a guestroom-" Edward was pacing about the room. His hands in his hair. Misery, pain and fury were stitched into his face.

"And then I fell asleep. O-or-"

"Or so you thought." He finished.

"Yes. And that's the honest truth..." I said. I screamed in agony again before crashing to the floor. Could you believe it? I just left that cold tub and already cold sweats were streaming from my pores. I clenched my stomach. Edward took mercy once again and gently took hold of my arms and lifted me up. Holding me to his cold, strong frame. I couldn't help it. I pressed my face into his chest and cried.

"I love you. My place is here with you. I would n-never go back to that..." I sighed.

"...Maybe...that would be best." He whispered, clutching my arms and holding me away from himself. My eyes blinked in confusion and wonder. In fear and rejection. Was he really saying this?

"W-what are you saying?..." I whispered.

"I can't do this Bella. I can't..."

"What do you mean you 'can't do this'?...are you leaving me?.." His lips closed in a straight line. He gently sat me on the edge of the large bed and walked away.

"You-You can't do this!" I cried. "You can't make me like this and then...leave me all alone!"

"Bella, don't you see?" He yelled. "I thought I could do this! I thought I could turn you, and everything would be fine! I thought I could kiss you, and make love to you as if none of this ever happened, but it did! You slept with Carlisle! My father! My friend! You and he were...together. Intimate..in ways I could only _imagine_ we could be! Tell me, how the hell am I supposed to move on Bella? How am I supposed to look at you and not imagine you...kissing him..touching him...lying beneath him...Tell me! How?" His shiny black eyes stared at me. His rage and hurt was unbelievable. I had done all this.

"Edward..." I reached out to him. He moved away. He turned his back and walked out the bedroom door. Slamming it behind him. I rested my head against the bedpost weakly and cried. I wailed, I screamed. I bawled. There was no release. Then the yanking came again. At my heart. I felt it. I felt my heart like one might feel their fingers. Like feeling your own tongue in your own mouth. I could feel it like a tangible thing. And it was being pulled. And squeezed. And clawed at. And submerged in water. And thrown into the sun. I fell forward from the bed and on the floor. My eyes burned now to the point where I couldn't open them. My stomach released acid again, all over the floor. I crawled away from it. Clutching at my chest. But then the tips of my fingers burned. Needles pricked my arms. Daggers stabbed my back and legs. My hair was being pulled from my scalp by the roots. Hell was inside me and heaven was laughing. This pain was the worse of any other I had felt in the past few days. Then I couldn't breathe. I imagined the airways of my throat and nose seal up completely. I writhed on the floor. Gripping at the carpet. Trying to call to Edward but having no voice.

"Bella!" I heard a loud yell. He heard me. How? If I could make any noise I would be screaming so loudly, you could hear me from miles away. But the pain was so bad I couldn't make a peep.

"Rosalie, run!"

"Emmet!"

"Let go! Let go of me! Bella! Bella! Run!"

There was chaos going on all about. And I was here dying. I tried to breathe in but I couldn't. My eyes were on fire but I tried to flutter them open. I had to go help Edward. I had to go help him. Then I saw a hooded figure. Blurry and dark grey. A pair of rough hands tied my hands behind my back and put a sac over my head. Making the illusion of suffocation that much worse.

"Time to go. Hurry!" I heard the voice. Was it male or female? Where was Edward? What were they going to do with me? What were they going to do with him? Rosalie? Emmet? I gasped. Air came back as if I were breathing through a clogged straw. But it was more air than I was getting before.

"Don't you dare hurt him..." I threatened with any strength or wind that I had in my body. Then there was laughter. Was it one person or more than that?

"You can hear the blood in her voice already-no?" The person-thing- said. Then I felt more pain in my head. As if something was scalping me alive. I screamed a bloodcurdling scream.

"Bella!" Edward yelled again.

"Shh!" The voice said harshly. Then they lifted me into their arms. "It's judgment day, my love."


	3. By The Sword

**Author's Note: Sorry it took so damn long to update! **Gosh...busy, busy. **Thank you all again for reading and replying. It means so much to me. **This is quite dramatic, but don't worry...the lust hasn't gone anywhere. I hope this chapter holds your interests. It's pretty long. **If you have any questions, ask away**. It could get confusing, but I've tried my very hardest to be clear. I will try my hardest to answer them. If I do not, it probably ties into the story I have in my head, somehow..and I don't like to spill secrets as much as I love to build up tension. Thanks again! Happy reading/writing and much love! PS:** I do NOT own Twilight or it's characters**...nor do I use trained monkeys to type my stories anymore. Toodles!

**3. BY THE SWORD**

My head was limp. I hurt all over. It pained me all over to move a finger.

"Alright. Drop her!" The voice echoed. All I could see was darkness when I opened my eyes. I was frightened. Why wouldn't they just remove the hood from my head? Where was I? Then I felt the arms that were previously holding me let go. I fell a long distance before landing in someone's cold, hard, arms. The feeling brought back a memory. No. Not really a memory...A feeling. A feeling that felt familiar but I didn't know why. I would have cried out in pain from the impact if I had the strength. I was just a rag doll now. And I had been tugged at and tossed back and forth for the past few hours.

"Emmet?..." I heard an angry and worried Rosalie call.

"I'm here honey, it's okay...We'll kill these bastards soon."

"Where are we? What is this place?" She breathed.

"...I don't know.."

Edward snickered in sarcasm as we moved on as a group. It was evident that he knew exactly where we all were. Why wouldn't he tell us?

"In here..." A feminine voice said softly. I knew that voice. I heard it before... I heard what must have been a door pushed open.

"Get in!" A gruff voice said. The being who carried me, stepped over the threshold of the door. Immediately, I smelled candles. The expensive wax. The flame on the wick. I felt the warmth. It was much too hot. I felt like I was choking again.

"Bring her over here..." I heard the little voice call authoritatively. I felt the person who held me move swiftly across the room and place me in a chair. I almost flopped over from weakness but someone caught me and sat me up straight.

"Tie her in...She's almost done." The girl said.

"W-who are you?" I asked in a winded voice. I felt like I had just ran a mile. My heart was beating much too fast. I felt a coldness on my cheeks and soft, chilled lips at my ear.

"Your new best friend..." She hissed. I heard her sinister giggle. Then I felt something encircle my wrists. My ankles. Tying me to the chair.

"E-Edward?..."

"It's okay, love. I'm right here..I won't let anything happen to you."

"Can you s-see?..." I spoke as I shivered.

"Yes..."

"Where are we?.." I whispered. The girl giggled again. Edward said nothing for a long while.

"Where are we?" I repeated myself.

"...Italy." He said. And that's all I needed to hear. My heart began to pound. I tried to pull myself from the restraints. I had to get out of here. I didn't like this place. The Volturi frightened me. Dozens of innocent people died in this very room the last time I came. This was not a good place to be. I heard a loud knock.

"We have another.." A loud voice called. Everything was just voices. When would I be able to see again?

"Let go of me, you beast!...Children! Edward. Edward, darling are you alright?"

"I'm fine..." I heard my love answer her in the sweetest voice. "I'm glad you're safe.."

"Esme!" I heard Rosalie breathe.

"Rosalie. Emmet. Thank goodness you both are alright...Where are Alice and Jasper?"

"We don't know. They disappeared a little after you did..." Emmet said. "Have you seen-"

"No." Esme answered quickly. "No...I haven't." I knew exactly who they were talking about. Pain shot through my chest. I gripped tightly at the wooden armrest of the chair I sat in. I cried out.

"Bella? Oh my god." She shrieked.

"Stay away from the girl." A low voice said. Esme was trying to come to me? To help me? After all that I had done? What an amazing woman. So kind. So good. It made the guilt of the betrayal even worse.

"Don't Esme..." I whispered. "I...I don't deserve your sympathy..." My head went limp again and for a moment, I couldn't hear anything at all. No speaking. No breathing. No walking. And then I heard Edward growl deeply. Why? I tried to calm myself. And listen more closely.

"I assure you Carlisle, everything will be mended in good time. The Cullen family is the strongest I've ever seen."

The voices were coming from the wooden door that we had all come through. Their voices echoed off of the cold walls of the corridors and hallways made of cobble stone. They were drawing nearer.

"No...it's over. I've ruined everything..My family is broken. And there's no way to fix it...I...I still can't even put my finger on where things went wrong. Why I did this..It's just...it's Bella...she does something to me and-"

"There, there. I think this spectacle...will change everything." The door creaked. Open. There was complete quiet except for the sound of my nails clawing at the armrests. Trying to breathe deeply.

"Emmet. Rosalie...Edward...Esme..." Carlisle's voice was full of sorrow and shock. Edward wouldn't stop growling. No one replied.

"My god...Bella..." He breathed.

"Stay the hell away from her!" Edward yelled.

"Edward..You-" Carlisle exhaled.

"That's right." Edward snarled. "I finally did it. And she's mine! Now move away!"

"Edward..." Esme whispered lightly.

"Let's stop beating around the goddamn bush! Why are we here?" Edward yelled.

"Why, it's a family reunion of course!" The low, powerful voice said with joy.

"Waste of time, if you ask me...They're too young. Especially the girl. She's been bitten. There is nothing to fear any longer. Let this be the end of it." A delicious and passive voice rang.

"Caius! This family is...a key to us in this war. This is anything _but_ a waste of time.."

"War?" Emmet asked. Emmet had never been one to turn down a fight. Hearing him so surprised made me nervous.

"Oh my, I've said too much too soon."

"Enough, Aro!" Edward yelled. "What is going on? And where are Alice and Jasper?"

And the pain started again. Intense as ever. My whole body shook with the tremors escaping me. I cried out in pain. My throat closed up again. I couldn't breathe.

"Bella!" Edward shouted.

"Step back!"

"Get out of my way!" He snarled back. I heard punches being thrown. The worry for Edward made my heart pound even harder. Making the pain worse. Each beat of my heart brought the venom another agonizing centimeter to my demise.

"Edward, don't..." I heard Esme say softly.

"I'm here, Bella. I'm here..."

But he sounded so far away. And for once, his beautiful voice did me no good. I screamed loudly. My head pounded. I felt like my skull was breaking. The daggers that stabbed me were gone. Now replaced with swords. Electricity shot through me. My throat closed up even further, cutting off my supply of air completely. And still I could manage to scream. The loud and horrible scream that splintered my own ear drums and ripped the skin off my the inside of my throat. I could feel tears streaming down my eyes. I wanted someone to kill me. And fast. End it all. My arms were being chopped off. My legs were being mutilated. My back twisted. My lungs ripped from me. The hands that were being pricked with needles dug into the armrest again. The wood began to splinter beneath my fingers. I pulled at the ropes tying me down and found that I easily broke free. I screamed in agony again as I felt the skin being ripped clean from my skull and fire cremating my body. And then it stopped. My breathing. My movement. My heartbeat. Suddenly a feeling of wellness swept over me. I didn't inhale at all...but I was okay. My heart finally stopped pounding. And I was fine. My head felt clear. My whole body tingled. I tried to breathe. Everything I smelled was enhanced. I could smell Edward. His lovely scent calmed me wonderfully. I let out a deep breath and leaned back in the broken chair. Finally, peace.

"Well then..." I heard Aro say. Even he sounded bewildered. "Shall we..have a looksee?" He said. I sat still. Soaking in the euphoria of the pain being gone. And the feeling of complete power that replaced it. I heard walking. And I heard it with precision. Every step he took. I could hear him move. He _sounded_ ever so graceful. He took hold of the dark hood that was placed over my head and pulled it off in slow moments. After the hood was gone, I felt his soft fingers brush my hair from my face. When the locks had been pushed back and he lifted my face to him, he began to laugh. Slowly at first. But then his mirth was displayed louder.

"My goodness! Beautiful. Beautiful..." I heard Edward's breath hitch in his throat. The sound was music to me. I couldn't help but smile a little. No one could see the way I looked now except for Aro and my beloved. Who had only seen me through Aro's vison. I refused to open my eyes. The feeling of my change..it was just incredible. I flexed my fingers. My toes.

"Ladies and gentlemen..may I present...Miss Bella Swan..." He stepped from before me. I finally opened my eyes. The euphoria was heightened as I took in the sight of everything. Everything seemed so much more perfect. Beautiful. Intricate and intriguing. All the pretty people. But it was hard not to feel a little self conscious as I saw everyone stare. I was in a round stone room. In a high tower that I had once been in before the same day I had saved Edward. And yet the place looked so much more beautiful now. I saw, finally that my 'new best friend' was really Jane. I hated her. This was the vampire who had the power to make anyone think that they were being scalded alive. She returned the look of dislike, mutually.

"Bella..." Edward breathed lightly. He looked shocked. I looked to Carlisle. He looked at me with confusion. Rosalie looked at me with disgust. Emmet ran his fingers through his hair and just looked. Esme touched Edward on his head and whispered in his ear. His expression didn't change.

"This turned out much better than I thought!" Aro shouted with glee. "Now, do you see brothers?"

Caius' soft, white hair fluttered against the air as he stepped gracefully forward to look at me more closely. He looked to Marcus with a look that I couldn't quite place. He stared at me. His mouth gaped a little. I gently raised a hand and touched my own face. It was shockingly smooth. But it didn't feel like much else had changed. Maybe it was my eyes. Were they that red?

"Even as a vampire, she can't be normal!" Rosalie shouted. Edward walked to me slowly. Wonder in his eyes. When he was in front of me he stared for a long while before grabbing be by the waist and scooping me into his arms. I missed his touch. I closed my eyes and snuggled into the feel of him. Still perfect. He felt softer though, somehow. He pulled back and stared at me.

"You're so beautiful..." I whispered. I reached forward and touched his face as if I had never seen it before. It did feel as if I were seeing him for the first time.. So angelic.

"So are you..." He said. "Unbelievable.."

"Then why is everyone staring?..." I asked softly. My voice sounded different. Prettier. It made me smile a little more deeply.

"Bella...you...you look human..." I blinked back at him. That couldn't be. He leaned into me again and inhaled deeply before smiling.

"You even smell the same. How can this be?"

I looked to the left of me. Marcus was coming closer. I drew in a deep breath as he floated to me. He had been the most distant of the Volturi the last time I came here. He never even spoke. He had seemed so bored with my presence. Until now. He reached out his hand and took gentle hold of my chin. Moving my head from side to side. Inspecting the scar on the left side of my neck.

"Varacolaci.." He hummed with a look of pain and wonder. Oh, his voice was more gorgeous than his brother's combined! But the word he said. It made my breathing stop. I knew what that meant. I remembered. My eyes grew wide and I moved away from Edward momentarily. I ran to a holy water bath that was ironically placed against a wall. The time I reached the basin was amazing I had to steady myself. I bent my head over the bowl filled with water and beheld my reflection. I was prettier, yes. Much prettier. My skin was clear and soft. My features were enhanced and sharper. My eyes were bigger. My lips more shapely. My eyes were a lighter brown. Either than that...I was the same. I looked warm blooded. I felt warm blooded. I indeed, looked human. I remembered back...months ago when I was just beginning to find out about Edward. After he saved me from Tyler's van. Searching the word 'Vampire' on the computer and coming up with some strange results.

_The Romanian Varacolaci, a powerful undead being who could appear as a beautiful, pale-skinned human._

I shook my head in disbelief.

"How?..." Emmet said. It seemed everyone in the room knew what this meant. But I wanted to know the same thing. How could this happen? And why me?

"Your answers will come soon enough, Emmet..." Aro said. Edward looked quickly to the wooden door. I heard talking, but none of it made sense.

"Come in." Aro smiled. The door swung open and two hooded figures stepped through the doorframe. Heads lowered. Hands hidden.

"That's enough!" He yelled. "Stop pissing around and tell us what's going on. What do you both have to do with this?" There came no answer.

"Jasper! Alice!" He barked. At once their heads arose. They pushed the hoods off of their heads and stared at the family that they looked so segregated from now. They just stared at us. Their eyes dark and empty.

"Alice, don't make me rip the thoughts from you!" Edward yelled.

"That's enough." Jasper said lightly. But he said it with more authority than I had ever heard from him.

"Don't worry, Edward. We will explain everything." Alice said in her lovely voice. Something was wrong. I could feel it. Alice looked at me. She smiled sadly but began to move closer.

"Bella..." She smiled. I stared at her but moved away. Something felt different.

"Alice, what have you done?" I whispered. She stopped advancing closer and looked at me.

"It was destiny, Bella...that you became a vampire." Jasper said. "To help us..." I remained silent. I moved to Edward's side and took hold of one of the hands that he clenched with anger.

"I saw it...in my head Bella. You should have died in Forks so many times over. And when I mean _die_...I mean, mortal death. No coming back... From the very moment that you sat beside Edward in biology class." Alice paused. Edward squeezed my hand and held me closer to him.

"But each time..Edward intervened. And each time that happened...it brought you so much closer to our prophecy."

Alice took her place beside Jasper and looked at the family.

"Alice..that prophecy is a myth! Just old stories of our time!"

"Carlisle! You of all people should know that is not the truth! The Illuminati _does _exist!" Aro rang. My scandalous lover looked confused.

"It's true Carlisle. Aro is right." Jasper whispered.

"It cannot be..." He whispered.

"Then I began to see you with us. A mortal..but still with us. As a family. And It was only when I came here to Italy with you four months ago that I realized the truth."

"You weren't really mortal in those visions Bella. You were the way you are now. A vampire who looks completely human."

"Wait a minute.." I cut in. "The Illuminati. What is that? What do you mean?" Caius stepped forward and spoke now. His perfect white hair flowing as he paced the room.

"The Illuminati is...an object. A stone..A gem of some sort. It is the reason why us vampires exist. Especially in the sun. We _are_...supposed to turn to dust you know." He grinned slyly. Esme gasped. Rosalie clung to Emmet. Caius continued to speak.

"But centuries and centuries ago...Long before my brothers and I existed, a spell was forged by..a very powerful vampire warlock named Atreus. He created the Illuminati. And so long as it exists, so will we. But if it is destroyed...any vampire who has ever even _seen_ daylight after they've been changed will be lost."

"No...no, this is bullshit!" Emmet shouted. My memory took me back to a wonderful time when myself and Edward lay in a bright meadow. The sun shining on his body. Sending splinters of rainbows in every direction. To imagine the many times we did that together, being the cause of his untimely death made me angry.

"There must be some mistake!" I rang.

"I assure you, it's true." Jasper whispered. "And we have reason to believe that the werewolves of Forks know it exists."

"What does that have to do with Bella?" Edward yelled.

"We needed her in this battle." Alice started again. "We knew that in order to win against Sam Uley and his gang, we needed Bella by our side. She's special. Immune to many other vampire's powers. We needed her changed."

"But you kept getting in the way, Edward." Jasper said. "We knew you'd do anything to keep her safe and mortal. But we remembered one night when Bella came to us..and asked us to vote on her mortality. Then we realized then that Carlisle was our only hope. He was the only one who was willing to bite Bella., and able make her a vampire safely." Edward looked to his father figure evilly.

"I would have never let him!" He yelled.

"...We know. That's why we had to..bend things..." Jasper said.

"What?..." I asked, winded.

"We knew that Edward would never change you, or let anyone else do it either..so we put you in as many scenarios as we could with Carlisle..." Alice said with difficulty. "To perhaps make Edward jealous. To make him think that Carlisle would do It without his consent."

"So that Edward would change me himself.." I whispered.

"Yes. But he never did. So we tried harder. To plant the illusions of lust and attraction between you and Carlisle. So that either of them would do it...but it got out of hand." Jasper whispered.

"Got out of hand?!" Edward yelled. "Are you telling me that _you_ two are the reason why Bella and Carlisle slept together?" I stiffened and pulled myself from Edward. Confused. Hurt.

"Alice...you didn't" I whispered. My best friend just looked at me.

"I'm so sorry. We never meant for it to go so far.."

"Alice...Jasper..." Carlisle looked at them. He must have felt hurt. Used. His family. They did this to us. Edward, Esme, Carlisle and I. Emmet and Rosalie were caught in the middle.

"Edward nearly killed Carlisle! Esme left him! Edward nearly left me! We could have lost everything!" I yelled. "So all this time Jasper was 'recovering' you both were here...plotting against Edward and I?" I felt a growl build up in my chest. All eyes were on me as I looked at Alice and Jasper like pieces of paper that I could shred apart.

"I could kill you!" I spat. "Both of you!" Alice's face was hurt. Jasper was trying to keep a look of composure, but a glint of surprise shone in his eyes.

"She really could!" Aro laughed.

"And you!" I fumed. Staring at Aro. "You helped them! They would have never done this if you hadn't told them that pathetic story!"

I began to lunge at the mighty man with dark hair and a long flowing red robe. I would tear him to bits. I had never been this angry in my life. To know that I nearly lost the only man I could ever love to two people I trusted was more than I could take. I wouldn't have it. Jane stepped before me. Daring me with her eyes to take one more step. I did so, very quickly. Making her jump. The fact that I startled her made her angry. She began to snap at me with her teeth. Snarling as I was. She took a quick swing at me with her long nails. I moved back, but not quick enough. She grazed my arm. Cutting my shirt. Leaving a wound. I moved at her again with more determination than ever. I pulled my hand back and slapped it ever so hard against her face. She flew back against the wall across the room and fell with a loud clatter. I went for her again while she was down but I felt Edward take tight hold of me. I couldn't control my rage. What was this? I was a completely different Bella.

"Stop, Bella..." He whispered.

"What do you mean, stop? Don't you see what they've done?" I yelled.

"I know...and I hate them for it too..." Alice lowered her head. She looked as if she may cry. I didn't care. "But you are very strong right now. Your emotions are splayed. You'll hurt them."

"They deserve no less!"

"Bella, give it time...they are my family..." He whispered. I looked into his agonized eyes. I spoke with my own eyes. Telling him that I would never love anyone but him. I knew it. I knew there must have been some reason gone wrong why I did such wrong. I touched his cheek. He buried his face into my hand and closed his eyes. Looking for some kind of comfort through all this madness. I turned my face and looked to Aro.

"_He_ isn't family..." I yapped. He laughed.

"Don't push it, darling! You cannot hurt me! But it is good to know what you _can_ do!" He frowned before looking back at his precious Jane, just beginning to rise from the floor. She stared at me with hate. I could tell that she was trying to send the burning sensation through my body. It didn't work. So her evil eyes turned to Edward. My beautiful boyfriend fell to the floor and began to squirm in pain.

"Stop!" I yelled. She didnt' She stared hard at Edward. He cried out in pain again. "Stop!" I began to run at her again. People kept holding me back.

"That is enough Jane!" Marcus yelled. She stopped immediately and lowered her head.

"I am sorry, Master."

"Oh, dear Bella..do forgive Jane. She doesn't do well with competition." Aro grinned.

"I won't fight for you!" I yelled.

"Oh, won't you?" He said. For the first time, his face went stern. "I think you will...for the rest of the Cullen family... Especially him..." Aro looked past me and pointed a long, white, bony finger at Edward, who was breathing hard on the floor. I looked at him. I loved him so much. And I knew then...that I didn't have a choice.


	4. The Host

**Author's Note:** **Sorry this chapter took so long to post**. But it is long...so I hope that compensates. Writers block sucks. Anyways, I won't say too much in this.** Thanks again for the reviews. I do not own Twilight or it's characters**. Please ignore all typos, merci beaucoup. Gotta go now. It's 1:30 in the morning. I'm tired. I work tomorrow...(er..today) And **Shaft is on. **Happy reading/writing and much love!

**4. THE HOST**

The night air blew against his face. The moonlight pouring into our already well lit room. He stood with his arms folded on the railing. Peering out over the small streets of Italy below. I stared at him incredulously. I could look at him for hours. My new eyes were amazing. How had I lived without them before? The world seemed clearer. This was a beautiful home. A beautiful room, and a beautiful castle that we dwelled in now. It was midnight. Too close to daylight to begin our journey back home to Forks now. Oddly though, I felt safe in the castle. Despite the fact that there were rooms beside me in every direction that housed someone who had betrayed my boyfriend and I. I approached him slowly and rested my hand gently on his shoulder. He jumped a bit. It was such a strange thing.

"You're getting good at that."

"Hmm?"

"Sneaking up on me."

"I'm sorry.." I whispered. "I didn't mean to." He smiled at me gently. But his eyes held a kind of mystery. I still couldn't read them. He closed his eyes as if he knew I was trying my hand at prying my way in..

"You seem so calm.." I whispered. I was just beginning to simmer down. If it weren't for the Volturi to restrain me, I would have killed Jasper and Alice a thousand times over before now. I saw the light wind rush forth and tickle his face again. Blowing his hair back slightly. I couldn't help but brush the hair away from his face and gave him gentle kisses on the cheek. If kissing his skin had ever felt amazing before, it was deathly now. I got my dose of it. As much as possible before he shifted his weight away from me slightly. I had been kept away from him for too long. But it was amazing how the truth didn't bring him back to me as I thought it should. Would I ever really have him back?

"Does it seem like that?" He whispered. "Everything seems so unreal..You...slept with my father...and it's my brother and sister's doing. Alice and Jasper...they- And I've bitten you because of it..." He turned around and looked at me. "I drank your blood. I've killed you and managed to start a war at the same time. I've taken your life."

"And given me a beautiful, new one..." I whispered.

"One in which you have to fight werewolves? To live out some..._prophecy_ so the vampires of the world won't turn to dust? That is no life."

"I'm with you..that's all that matters. As long as I can be with you forever..." I whispered pleadingly.

"If we survive..." He whispered. "..._If_ And I can't take that chance. Whatever Alice and Jasper's sick and twisted ideas were, it won't work. You aren't fighting."

"Edward, I have to help." I began. Edward slowly rose from his place on the balcony and walked past me, back into our grand guestroom.

"No..."

"So what am I going to do? Sit around while god-knows-what could be happening to you or the others?" I yelled after him.

"I don't know what Aro and the rest of the Volturi want with you Bella, but you can't do this. I won't let you go out and get yourself killed! Sam Uley and his boys are dangerous."

"When are you going to stop being my guardian and start being my boyfriend?!" I yelled. All went silent. Edward stared at me with brilliant dark eyes and a stone face.

"You don't need to treat me like a doll anymore..." I whispered. "Stop. I am a woman. Madly in love with you. I gave up my mortal life just for you...I'd go to the ends of the earth for _you_! And I know that I've hurt you Edward, but the mistakes that I've made weren't my fault! I should have known it before. I could never willingly be with anyone but you.. Please..." I whispered. I couldn't cry anymore. But I felt severely that I would.

"Stop holding me down and just...hold me.." I breathed.

I took slow steps towards my boyfriend. Standing in the middle of the room. An agonized look on his face. I wrapped my arms around his neck and looked into his eyes. He tried to move away but I didn't let him. Lifting my hand up and resting it on the side of his soft, cold cheek, I turned his face back to look at me. I stared into him. Hoping he could feel the intensity radiating off of me. He stared at me for the longest time as if in a trance before shaking his head and breaking away. Prying my fingers off of him and turning his back on me. It infuriated me.

"I can't say I loved him, but I can say that Carlisle never pushed me away!" I growled.

Quickly, I bit down on my lip. I did _not _just say that. What a horrible thing to say! I kicked myself inwardly. I watched Edward from behind. His back straight. His body rigid. His hands locked into tight fists. I drew in a shaky breath. Then he slowly began to turn around. Gracefully though. As if his feet had nothing to do with his movement. He looked at me with a cold expression. One that could only be compared to last night when he nearly killed Carlisle.

"I-I'm sorry.." I said quickly. "I shouldn't have- It was stupid of me.." And then he began to advance on me. Slowly. His hollow eyes never leaving mine.

"Edward..." I pleaded. Obviously frightened.

I wanted to believe he would never hurt me. He would never mean to. But I couldn't put anything past him now. I made him angry so many times recently. He might not be able to control. A growl began to build in his chest and then I began to panic. I opened my mouth to scream but before I could even finish my intake of breath, My body slammed hard against a wall. It didn't hurt, but it knocked the wind out of me. Edward's hand was pressed over my lips. His body pressing mine into the cold stone. The look in his eyes was unbelievable. Such range. Such anger. Such pent up...passion. As he took tight hold of my arms and began to kiss me ferociously. My body suddenly felt warm as I kissed him. And then I felt something cold and wet slip between my lips. His tongue. He had never kissed me like this before. And needless to say, it was much better to me than Carlisle. I sighed lightly. I felt my knees weaken from beneath me. My eyes shot open as I realized I was no longer standing, but was being cradled in Edward's arms as he held me and carried me to the large bed provided in the room. He lay me across the soft, cold satin and crawled over me like some sly and seductive animal. My breath was heavy and fast. It increased even more when Edward wasted no time in literally ripping my clothing off. Starting at the collar of my blouse, he took tight hold of the fabric before ripping it apart and pressing himself to me. Kissing my flesh. I rubbed my legs together in anticipation. I leaned my head up towards him. Hoping for a kiss. He merely growled in my direction before lowering his chilled lips to my neck and sucking at my flesh that was still warm and still looked tinted with blood, though my change was completed hours ago. I moaned viciously. I couldn't lay still. My world was spinning at the suddenness of this. But how could I argue?

When he pulled back from the skin of my collar bone I stared up at him. Straddling

me. Looking at me with such lust I thought I would go insane. My body quivered as he began to take off his own shirt. Revealing to me the hard marble of his smooth chest. Why was he doing this? As much as I wanted him, I didn't want him to do this because of a competition he had in his head with himself and Carlisle. I made another small noise before pulling myself from beneath the auburn haired god. He growled again and held me before I could move another inch. It took a while before I could find my voice.

"If you're doing this...to prove something-" I began. He snickered and kissed me roughly on the lips again.

"Please..." He said in a kind of scoff. "I'm doing this for me.." He grinned slyly.

I couldn't remember the last time I saw him smile his crooked smile. It made me melt. I was putty in his hands once more. He moved his cold fingers over my chest and torso before moving to my waist and nimbly unbuttoning my jeans. He pulled them off in quick and swift movements and then threw them to the floor as if they were useless, castoff things. I had to close my eyes tightly and cover my face as he teasingly stroked my legs and kissed my chest. I never thought our first time would be like this. Right here, in the Volturi castle of all places. He turned me over on my stomach. The fact that I could no longer see him was exciting. Especially since I could hear him so well. His breathing. His every move. Almost every move. I wasn't expecting it when he moved my hair from the back of my neck and kissed a trail down the flat of my back until he reached the strap of my bra. Unlike all the rest of my clothing, he took this off with precision and care. Finally slowing down the process of his seduction when I wanted it the most. And it felt like I was laying there forever. Without him touching me at all. Just breathing. Waiting. And without any warning whatsoever I felt his hands moving underneath my body. Between my legs. Stroking me gently over the darn fabric that was still on my body. This was too much. We both wanted this. Why wait any longer? I couldn't. My body was shaking. It was unbelievable. I could barely even see straight.

"E-Edward..." I shook. My face buried in a pillow. My nails gripping at the bedsheets. He moved his hand against me in the same teasing fashion before he lowered himself onto my body and put his lips closer to my ear kissing the hollow of my neck. I could smell him. His scent was intense. Wonderful. Intoxicating. And then the feeling of him was gone from me.

"No..." He fumed suddenly. He rose from the bed and put his blouse back on. The buttons missing. What did he mean _no_? I held the blankets of the bed around myself and sat up to look at him.

"What?.." I questioned.

"I can't do this right now..." He whispered. "I'm sorry Bella."

"What did I- I'm sorry. I never meant to say-"

"No..it's just...I can't be with you like that...not yet."

"Edward..You can't hurt me..."

"I know. I just can't..I just keep imagining you with _him_. And I can't. It's too hard right now. I'm sorry..." I stared at him. I couldn't believe this. Even after I was changed, even after he was told that my sleeping with his father wasn't my fault, I still wasn't good enough to be with.

"I'll never be good enough for you, will I?.." I whispered. Laying alone in the bed. Trying to sort my thoughts and feelings.

"Don't be ridiculous...You're better than I could ever be...I love you.."

"I don't feel it anymore..." I said bluntly. And it was true. And part of it was Alice and Jasper's fault. But I began to wonder now, would he have fallen out of love with me anyways after he had bitten me under different circumstances? I was beginning to think so. Edward stood there, bewildered as I arose from the bed and redressed with haste.

"What do you mean you don't feel it?" He questioned. "You know that I love you more than anything. That's the reason I made you what you are."

"Or was it because you were jealous of Carlisle and you were afraid he would do it if you didn't?" I yelled.

He didn't answer. How odd that Edward and I could go so quickly from experiencing earth-shattering pleasure to heartbreaking pain.

"Edward, Carlisle and I are innocent. We didn't mean anything we did. It was just...a ploy for the Volturi to get this war underway. Alice, Jasper, and possibly dozens of other vampires have been screwing with all of us! For you to break the treaty and for me to help them. And now you know that's the truth. So if you can't forgive us now, when will you ever?"

He blinked at me with sad eyes. I could have broken down just looking at him like that. So I rose from the bed and picked up my clothes from the floor. Far too destroyed to wear now. I put on my undergarments and searched a wardrobe across the room for a suitable, red silk robe. I looked in the mirror. My face was red. Flushed from the excitement of Edward's play and then yelling at him afterwards. But no matter how warm-blooded I still appeared, I would never be mortal enough for him ever again. I sauntered towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Edward whispered. I turned around and saw him looking at the floor. Looking rather anguished and lost.

"...I don't know.." I replied. I turned the doorknob and walked out.

The corridors were long and there were many directions in which I could go. If I were mortal, I would have been lost right as soon as I left the bedroom. My feet took me to familiar places. It was amazing how many people dwelled within the castle. On every corner there was a guard. Another man or woman with their faces shielded by their dark grey cloaks. It was disorienting, so I looked at the ground and avoided them as best I could. My bare feet moved gracefully over the intricate carpet beneath them. I breathed in deeply as I walked. The same smell of expensive beeswax and burning candles that burnt on fixtures placed upon the stone walls. When I reached the lower level of the castle I looked around. It was dark. There was a beautiful ebony piano to my left and to my right was a large glass door that led to the outside. There was a gazebo out back. Beautiful flowers of every color could be seen. The moon still shining brightly overhead. My feet drew me to the spectacle. I walked into the dark room. And pressed my fingers to the glass before gently pushing it open. As soon as I did, a floral gust of wind blew at my face. The scent was euphoric. It drew me even deeper. I stepped outside onto the cement patio. My feet probably should have been cold but they weren't.

"Shall I dance for you?" I heard a feminine voice laugh. A very pretty and sultry voice. One of seduction and intensity. I ducked down behind a bushel of roses and watched as best I could through the thorns and petals. A tall figure sat on a white bench beneath a tall willow tree. Taking in the sight of a beautiful woman dancing about in a beautiful, light pink dress. It was flattering. The material of the strapless dress hugged her body in all the right places, and when she twirled, it floated on the air. Her brown hair flew about gorgeously. She wasn't a vampire - that I knew due to my own new vampireism, but were she to be bitten, her beauty could be compared to Rosalie's. Though I could only imagine.

"Come! Dance with me!" She laughed and tossed her head back to the sky. From the distance I could see a glimmer of beautiful white teeth and the outstretch of a pale hand. Immediately the woman ceased her dance and took small, graceful steps towards the mysterious figure. If my heart could beat it would have pounded. I knew what would come next. Once the woman was sat on the bench beside the host, she faced him. Stared at his face that was no doubt, beautiful as it was frightening and began to lean in for a kiss. What a kiss she would receive. Wasting no time, the figure reached out a hand to stroke the woman's beautiful face. They whispered but I could hear their conversation perfectly.

"Your skin...it's magnificent..." The host whispered. It was a man. The long hair had been deceiving me.

"It's softer to kiss than it is to touch.." The woman teased. My body tensed. I was afraid for her.

"I would not argue with that..." The man hummed. Then he drew her closer. He kissed her shoulder, ever so gently. Drawing her in. The woman closed her eyes. I could hear her breath being expelled in a soft shudder. His lips went up the flesh of her neck to a vein that I could almost see with my sharp eyes. Then the eyes of the mysterious host looked past his prey. His eyes caught mine as his teeth sunk into her neck. I could hear the flesh of her skin pop. I could almost feel the blood seeping out. Disgusting. Horrid. Beautiful. I had never seen a vampire feed before. Edward refused to let me see him hunt. But this was no animal being killed. It was a beautiful young woman that probably had no comprehension of what she was getting herself into when she decided to spend the night with a beautiful stranger. But as I watched, my stomach churned. My eyes wouldn't leave her neck as I watched the man press his lips tightly to her skin. I heard her heart pounding and suddenly, I wanted her blood too. What was wrong with me? I gasped a little louder than I should and fell back into the lush, dew encrusted grass. I had to get out of this place. I stood up as quickly as I could and broke out into a run before I bumped into a rock hard figure. This normally hurt me or caused me to stumble. Not this time.

"Well, well look what we've got. It's not often that Marcus lets his meal get away."

"Maybe he's up for a chase tonight" Another figure in a cloak laughed.

"Let me go!" I snarled.

"Ah! Feisty one, isn't she?" I pushed the one who said this. Sending him flying through the air and into a patch of tulips. The other man began to growl at me. I growled back.

"What are you?" He yelled.

"Vittorio! Leave her be!" My head flung around as I looked at the man who made the command. He protruded from the darkness at this point. The pale of the moon making him look even more ghastly. He dressed in a dark suit with his beautiful dark hair tied back.

"Master, forgive me. I thought she was escaping. She is a...strange human. Would you like me to-"

"Nonsense! Can you not plainly see that this girl is indeed a vampire? What is wrong with your eyes?" Then he began to say something in a different tongue. I didn't understand but I could imagine it was cussing and scolding that came from his mouth. I couldn't help but cut a smile. The Volturi member was obviously teasing his subject, but the hooded man dared not laugh at the joke.

"Forgive me." He repeated. He looked over to his friend who I pushed earlier and began to speak to him in Italian before bowing to the tall man and departing. I turned and faced the stranger fully. He smiled at me gently. Making my body tense.

"Ah...the Varacolaci. Getting yourself in trouble already, I see." He hissed. But his voice wasn't hateful. Just silky. Like velvet. It baffled me.

"I'm sorry. I just came out for some fresh air and-"

"Ha. As if you need it anymore..." The Volturi chuckled. By the sound of his wonderful voice, I knew that this man was Marcus. The one that had never payed me any mind until today.

"But I suppose it takes all of us a while to...adjust to the new 'sleeping pattern.'" he laughed.

"Or lack thereof." I added in agreeance. The tall man stared at me with a small smile. It was awkward, yet humbling in a way. It was like standing before a movie star and trying to act casual. He was a very special vampire. So were his brothers. Yet I didn't feel at all awed when I was standing before the other two. Just him. I felt a kind of tie.

"The likeness...is uncanny.." He whispered. He took a step towards me. Reached out for my face. I hesitated. Moved back. What was he talking about?

"Forgive me." He moved back.

"No..I'm sorry. I'm just a little sketchy after-" I stopped speaking and pointed to the deceased woman lying peacefully on the bench. I was squeamish on the inside but refused to let it show in front of Marcus.

"I see...Have you not fed yet?" He questioned.

"No..I'm- I'm not hungry.." I mumbled. Lying. I hadn't been...until I saw him bite her. This wasn't a hunger that I had ever felt before. It was a churning. A burn. A crave. I tried to push it away as best I could. I refused to look at the woman and the few droplets of blood seeping from her neck wound. Marcus raised his eyebrow at me. Such casual and layed back movements for someone who had been living for so many millennia.

"I find that hard to believe...Young ones are always hungry. Come." He placed his hand on my shoulder. A shiver ran through me.

"I-"

"I assure you, human blood will not touch your lips here. Unless you want-"

"No." I interrupted quickly. "Animal...please."

We walked from the back yard and through the glass door that I had come out in. Once inside, we left the dark room and walked into a bright hallway. We walked side by side in silence. Every now and then I would look over to him. His long dark hair. Shiny and beautiful tied back behind his head. His dark suit making him even more pale. His lips looked pinker due to his recent meal. His stride confident, quick and graceful. His eyes looked straight ahead. We passed another creepy figure in a hood. Where were we going? Marcus looked to the man and said something very quickly in Italian. The figure nodded quickly and ran off in a quick flash. We walked slower now. Every now and then we would pass a beautiful, oil painting portrait of an aristocratic looking man or woman. Marcus would lean point carefully and tell me who the person was. How long they lived, and even how a couple of them had managed to kill themselves. He told me a small portion of a story in which Caius tore a vampire to shreds for leaking Volturi secrets to outside vampires. I shivered. Not much later, the vampire that we passed earlier came running to us.

"Master." He said before handing him a silver chalice. Marcus said something to him in a foreign tongue once more before giving the guard leave to go. Then he turned to me.

"Here. Drink this." He said gently.

"What is it?" I said unthinkingly. He gave me a strange look as if to say 'what else would it be?'

"Completely 'vegetarian', I assure you. Go on. Before it gets too cold."

I eyed him carefully and took the shiny cup. I looked into it and saw a dark red substance. Giving it a small sniff, the aroma filled my head and drove me wild. No words could describe the thirst I had as I brought the silver to my lips and drank back the thick liquid. Needless to say, blood didn't repulse me any longer. When I had drained the cup of it's every possible drop, I pulled my lips away, licked them gently then looked back at Marcus who was looking at me with an entertained expression.

"Good?" He mused. I nodded silently. What a change. From fainting at the sight to drinking a whole cup of blood down. It was warm. It gave me tingling sensations of comfort as it ran through my body. Kind of like chocolate. I wanted more. He slowly reached out and took the cup from me. I cranked my neck slightly to take in the sight of his face, as he was quite tall. He soon closed the space between us a little more. His face a little closer to my own. His eyes stared into me for the longest time.

"Mmm..you have a certain gaze, Bella." He spoke. "That could bring a man to his knees.." I blinked and then recoiled. The intimacy of his words reminded me slightly of the position I was put into with Carlisle by Alice and Jasper. I couldn't do this again. There was a small silence. And before I could begin to feel too awkward, he said:

"Come with me. I have one more picture I wish to show you..." He took my hand casually. I closed my own around his without thinking. I felt as if I were wandering some mystical palace with a close friend. Not getting a tour from one of the most powerful vampires in all the world. It amazed me even further now that I was one of them to see how human we really were. We went up a flight of stairs and turned uncountable corners until we came upon a solitary door down a long, narrow hall. I felt uneasy all of a sudden.

"I don't know if I should go in there-" He gave me a questioning look and released my hand.

"It is good that you take such discretion of this room. It is my own...and no one has been in here for hundreds of years. Not even I."

"Why?.." I questioned.

"You will see.."

"Marcus..." I whispered. "I should be getting back. Edward is waiting."

"I understand your worry. And believe me...a situation like the one you've had with Carlisle will never happen again." A heat rose to my face. It embarrassed me to know that everyone knew what had happened between myself and Edward's father.

"You're turning red." He said in a matter-of-factly tone before pushing his way in front of me and walking towards the door.

"Yeah...some things never change, I guess.." I whispered.

When I reached the end of the hall, Marcus stood before me and gently turned the knob. It squeaked ever so lightly before swinging open. A gust of cold wind blew eerily. Marcus stepped before me and walked inside. As I stepped carefully over the threshold, the door quickly swung shut behind me. I jumped. I heard Marcus chuckle. Then I heard a scratching. A small flicker of light flashed a little ways from me. I could smell the sulphur of a match as the ancient vampire lit a kerosene lamp. Our sharp eyes didn't need the light, but it did help some. The room was elaborate. Beautiful. Very large. There was no bed, but there was a sofa, much like Edward's room. There were tall bookshelves, a fire place, large windows and expensive works of authentic art. The largest and most eye-catching were six tall portraits that hung side by side on the wall. Five of them were familiar looking. Three stood out in particular. Aro. Caius. And the man standing next to me. Marcus. Seeming more down to earth than his brothers. Than I could have ever imagined him to be. Two beautiful women. I had seen them once before. The last time I came to Italy to save Edward, I saw them. One woman with long blonde hair and fair skin. Her eyes were icy blue in the picture as opposed to the burgandy that they were in reality. A woman with rusty brown hair. Her eyes shining green. Looking fiercely at me. I moved closer to the woman who's picture stood closest to Marcus' She had brown hair. Brown eyes. Looking out into the dark room with a very subtle smile. All three of the women were beautiful. But there was something about the third. Her face. It wasn't as pale as the other two women. Or the men for that matter. Her cheeks had rouge in them.

"Is she a Varacolaci too?" I whispered. I turned my face to Marcus who was setting the lamp down on a table. He stared at the flame for a while before answering me.

"She was." He whispered. "She's gone. Dead." He said. I could hear the sadness in his voice. It was overwhelming.

"I'm sorry...May I ask how? It's just..I know it's not easy for a vampire to...you know"

"She was killed. In battle." He looked at me with an angry look. It struck fear in me. "Werewolves."

"She was beautiful.." I whispered as I turned back to the painting. All of them were beautiful.

"You have her eyes..." He whispered. I turned and looked at him. He still didn't look at me. I felt a lump in my throat. Could I still cry? I felt like I could.

"The Varacolaci are a very rare type of vampire. You do know this, yes?" He spoke again.

"I-I assumed as much. No one has really said much about it. I know what it is...I know that's what I am...or seem to be. I never seem to be normal at anything, so I could be wrong."

"You are a very beautiful being Isabella." He said. That was the first time he spoke my name. It was such a pretty sound.

"You are more human than human. More Vampire than vampire. You are caught in the terrible cusp between. And it will be a hard journey..but in the end you are worth so much more. You're warm. You blush. You cry. You bleed. You may even grow tired from time to time..Just like any other mortal. But like the vampire, you will live forever. You are graceful, and beautiful and strong."

"I crave blood" I interjected.

"Yes.." He smiled jokingly. "That too. But not as much as the rest of us. You are blessed Bella. Unfortunately, that is why Alice, Jasper and my brothers have used you...You're the perfect killer. In a perfect disguise."

I stared at the vampire before me. He answered a lot of my questions. Especially the one in which I questioned myself most. Why did I feel no different? Besides the keen hearing, speed and strength..I still felt and looked like regular old Bella. Nothing had really changed much. And even these things would die down a little after the years passed. Marcus stared at the portrait of his late wife. His soulmate. His best friend. How on earth would I live if the roles were switched and I was in his shoes with Edward gone? It wouldn't happen. It couldn't. And that was the only reason why I was willingly going to take part in this war.

"I've lost everything for this..." I muttered.

"You feel far from Edward.." He said. It was true. He would know. He had the power of seeing into relationships. The last time I was here, he was baffled beyond words by the intensity of mine and Edward's relationship. Now he sensed a gap too. Knowing this made the hole in my heart even bigger.

"Yes. Day after day I feel worlds away from him...And I thought it was my fault before. But now he knows the truth and...nothing is getting better. He can barely even look at me." I whispered. Yes..I could cry. I demonstrated that just now as water flowed from my eyes. It was such a strange feeling now. Different.

"But I love him...I do."

"Yes. And he loves you too. The love between you hasn't changed. Just the trust. You're both in denial about what's happened...Not to worry, Isabella. Your love for him..and his for you _will _indeed last forever." He walked over to me now and wiped the tears from my eyes before resting his hands on my shoulders.

"But I must tell you right now...as your warning going into this war..." He paused and looked at me to make sure that I was paying close attention and taking him seriously. I grew nervous. I looked into his reddish colored eyes and waited for his words in anticipation.

"You cannot have him if you intend to keep him..." He whispered.

"...What?" I breathed. That made no sense. And I didn't like the sounds of that. Edward was mine. I was his. And I _would_ keep him.

"I cannot read the future. But that is one thing I know in certainty for you and Edward. At least..until this war comes to it's end." I pulled myself away from the vampire that I once had such a good time speaking to.

"I-I have to go find Edward..." I mumbled. "He's probably wondering where I am.." I said. "Goodnight."

I turned and walked from the beautiful room and to the door which I opened and walked out of before closing it silently inside me. I walked down the long corridor quickly and ran down the flights of stairs past hooded figures and strange looking doors and rooms until I stood before the one that Edward and I were to share until later on that day. Upon walking inside, I found the room empty. Boyfriend nowhere to be seen. I let out an exasperated sigh and walked out to the balcony where my argument with Edward had started a few hours ago. The sky was beginning to lighten. A dark blue at first. Edward and the other Cullens gave me a warning. Not to go into the light. To hide in darkness until this war was fought and won. So that if this war went badly...If the Quileute werewolves found the Illuminati and destroyed it, I would not be destroyed as well. The way I saw it, what would it matter? If I had to lurk for the rest of my life without Edward, what kind of immortality would I have? My life would be better ended if it ever came to that. The golden orb of the sun rose slowly. Casting shades of light blues, purples and pinks into the canvas of the sky. The light hit my eyes. And it was beautiful. I basked in it.

"Bella!" I heard a shout. Edward had his hand tightly clasped around my wrist. His body shining from the rays of the sun. Trying to pull me back into our dark room.

"What are you doing?" He yelled. "I told you!"

"Edward...Edward.." I whispered. "It's okay...it's too late."

"I told you to never say that!" He growled. "What are you trying to do? Kill yourself?"

I smiled lightly. He cared far too much about me.

"You think this is some kind of joke?! Now if Sam and his gang-"

"They won't win..." I whispered in confidence. "And even if they do...I'd rather go with you..than have to live forever...alone."

"Bella, you're crazy!" He yelled. He pulled me to his body and held me close. This was the closest to him I had felt to him in the longest time. I cherished it, and felt rather guilty for it, as my boyfriend was obviously terrified.

"Why did I do this to you?" He whispered into my shoulder. "I should have never...ever.."

"Shh.." I hushed. I pulled his face from my shoulder and looked into his eyes. He was as beautiful as the day I met him. The love really hadn't changed. I could feel it all now..flooding back.

"I go where you go..." I whispered. "We'll be together forever now..And when this is all over...we'll go to our meadow..and lay in the sun. Just like we always do..With no fear.." Tears ran down my cheek again. Edward clung to me. Just like he used to. I would never let him go. Ever.

"I love you Bella Marie Swan..." He whispered as he took tight hold of me again and breathed in the scent of my hair. My body warmed at the sound of him saying this. I smiled.

"I know.."


	5. The Gift

**Author's Note:** Whee. Finally, the story is just starting. For me, anyways. From here on in is where my mind starts to go supercrazyhaywirenuts and the drama REALLY begins. So I'm uber excited. **Just to answer a few questions: Yes, Bella really did sleep with Carlisle**. If not..I don't know what the hell is going on in my book. **Alice, Jasper and most likely other vampires from Italy helped manipulate their feelings so that Edward would bite Bella, to break the treaty, to start the war, and make Bella a vampire because they needed her for the war. **Very twisty. Erm.. Some people are rationalizing a tad overboard about the time it took for Bella to change into a vampire. Stephenie herself has stated that the changing process can take up to _four_ days to complete, but since Carlisle's three day change is the only one we really know about in the real books, we tend to see it as such. It really just depends on how dead/alive you are when you're bitten and how fast the venom travels through your veins. Anyways, the positive/negative feedback that I am receiving is wonderful. **Do not hesitate to ask questions**. I would rather not confuse people. Wow, that's a long note. **That's all then. I do not own Twilight and/or it's characters. Thank you all again SO SO SO much. Happy reading/writing and much love! **

**5. THE GIFT**

When evening came, a knock sounded at our chamber door. Edward and I detangled ourselves from one another. I slipped from the bed unwillingly and walked to the door slowly.

"Don't open it.." Edward snarled. But my reflexes were too fast now. I didn't stop myself quickly enough. On the other side, Alice stood. Solitary. Looking rather meek. The display disgusted me

"What do you want?" I asked, actually trying to be as nice about it as I could. Alice didn't take this as any motive to look back up at me, so she spoke to the floor.

"We should be leaving for home soon." She whispered. "Just a heads up." My eyes flared at her in a way I never thought they would. This girl was my friend. My sister. My confidante. I looked at her now and didn't even know her. My mind drifted back to the time where I thought she found out about my affair with Carlisle. I got down on my knees and begged her to help me. To give me some word of aid or advice. It sickened me to know that she was deceiving me the whole time. She was such a good actress. She had the nerve to talk down to me when it was her who was ruining my life. What kind of friend was she? There was nothing that her beautiful voice or pixie-like features that could change anything now. She would never be the sweet Alice again..just like I wouldn't ever be the innocent Bella.

"Well, I would pack, but our departure was very abrupt as you probably know." I hissed sarcastically. Alice still refused to look me directly in the eye for too long.

Her somber look beginning to break me down. Making me feel sorry for her. They didn't really _want _to destroy my life. The world of the vampire was in trouble. If the werewolves got their hands on the Illuminati, their lives would be over. Every vampire who had ever touched a single ray of sunlight would perish. Every member of the Cullen family had seen daylight after their change. Laying out in the grass of their backyards when they couldn't go to school. Going hunting in the large forests during the day. They would all die. And so many others. They needed me to win. And that's the reason why they plotted the way they did. But why do it that way? Why make me betray my beloved boyfriend and sleep with his _father_ of all people? They did it in the most wrong way.

"I've brought you two some cloaks...in case we should run into some sunny weather." She held out two dark cloaks that were draped carefully over her arms. I eyed her carefully before grabbing the material from her quickly.

"I don't sparkle." I said in a cynical tone. "But I'm sure you weighed and measured those pros and cons before you and Jasper decided to screw me over." I said.

"Bella, I-"

"Who has the tickets?" I interjected. I wanted no more apologies. I wanted no more lies. I just wanted to go home, explain more lies to Charlie, have him yell at and ground me again and settle into the routine of my new life with Edward after the fumes of all this drama died down.

"Carlisle does." Alice said in a silenced tone.

"We'll be down soon." I said with a finality. Alice turned gracefully and departed. I sighed deeply and closed the door. I thoroughly regretted talking to her that way. I always did. But when she or Jasper ever crossed my path, I couldn't control myself. I couldn't make myself act any differently. They almost destroyed everything. Luckily though, they did not succeed. Edward lay on my bed. Beautiful. His white blouse open. His arms behind his back, staring at the ceiling.

"I can't stand her..." Edward whispered. His lips in a line. His brows furrowed in deep thought. I quietly sauntered towards him and sat quietly on the bed. Listening. Wanting for him to tell me for once how _he _felt.

"It-It's like she's not even Alice anymore." He whispered. "I remember when she first came to us...lifetimes ago. She was so...lost and scared. She didn't remember anything from her past life. Of who bit her..Everything was just gone. Her existence was just...bits and pieces of mystery and riddles. But she still managed to open up to me in the best ways she could. We became the best of friends. I connected to her in a way I couldn't connect with the others. Carlisle had Esme...Rosalie had Emmet.. I didn't love Alice like that..but we had each other. We kept company. Told secrets. Shared whatever it is we had. What we could remember...And even after Jasper joined us, that bond never changed. Until now..." He whispered.

I frowned lightly and reached out my hand to place on the top of his head for comfort. He smiled at me.

"But I have you now..." He said with a silky voice.

"You do.." I agreed with a small smile in return.

"But to think I almost lost you...because of her."

"You'll never lose me.. Let's not think about this. We're together. I love you. You love me. We're going home. Let's pretend nothing ever happened...Deal?

"Deal." He smiled. "On one condition..." He said. I eyed him carefully.

"What's that?"

"Kiss me." He laughed. Now who the hell could object to that?

"I don't think so.." I teased.

"Come here." He growled playfully and pulled me to the bed before tickling me to fits of laughter and forcing himself into a kiss. He lay gently over me for the longest time. Looking into my eyes. Filling my immortal soul with love and security.

"Bella, the only reason I hold onto you so tightly...is so I can hold onto you forever..." He whispered. I closed my eyes and let his words seep in.

"Promise me..." I said quietly. This phrase brought back so many memories. Good and bad. I said it all the time when I brought him back from Italy. When I woke up from scary dreams in which he left me all over again. When I was cheating on him with his father and I _knew_ he would find out soon enough.

"Promise...promise." I repeated. Edward's cold lips pressed near my cheek and whispered the most wonderful word to me.

"Forever..."

And now it was literal. Finally. That was all I ever wanted.

When we managed to pry ourselves from one another for a second time, Edward and I draped the cloaks over ourselves and gliding quickly down the long staircase. When we reached the foyer, we saw the entire Cullen family standing on the marble floors. Waiting for us so we could begin our journey. No one talked to each other. No one looked at each other except for the couples. We had all segregated. But then I saw something that made my face light up slightly. Carlisle and Esme were looking at each other. Their looks were warm. As if they were speaking some unknown language to one another. There was still tension that you could see. The way that Esme refused to get too close. But it looked like there was hope. A glimmer. A spark of some kind.

"Ah!" I heard a loud mirthful exclamation. I jumped slightly and looked to my side. The three Volturi were advancing into the lobby. Marcus walked, stone faced and proud as the day I met him. He barely made an effort to make eye contact with me. A sudden sad feeling came over me. "The Cullens are going home already, are they? And together! See, what did I tell you Jasper?...back to normal."

Alice lowered her small head. Jasper's eyes went hard as he slipped his arm around her shoulders and gave Aro a cold stare.

"There are a few things you should know first..." Caius started. "When the eight of you go home to rainy Forks, you all won't be sitting on your behinds drinking bear blood. We need you all to get as close to the Quileutes as possible. Stalk, eavesdrop, whatever you have to do. Just make sure you find out as much as you all can about the Illuminati. Find it if they don't already have it...and keep it safe." He said in a strong demeanor.

"But do, remain conspicuous. Nothing worse could possibly happen than if you were to give them a clue that we knew what they were up to." Marcus said. There was silence as we all heeded the warnings of the three powerful men. Carlisle who stood closest to the door now, looked at his old friends with such a look of hate, I could feel it radiating off of him.

"Let's go" He said sternly. He escorted his wife out gently and waited for his children to walk through.

"Bella." A strong voice called. I spun around and there was Marcus standing there. Looking at me with the same emotionless expression that I didn't see once last night. I looked to Edward and took a deep breath.

"I'll meet you outside." I whispered. Edward looked at Marcus very carefully before releasing my hand and walking out the front door into the dark evening. I sauntered slowly to Marcus. His stern gaze held mine before I stood before him.

"I need you to be careful.." was all he said. I smiled lightly at him.

"I will be.." I said in assurance. The powerful vampire shook his head and closed his eyes.

"You're just like Marishka..." he whispered. I felt eyes watching me. I turned and looked to my left and there I saw Aro and Caius. Staring at us and not trying to hide it in the least. They looked astonished. Bewildered. They heard what their brother had said. It amazed me too. The comparison between me and his late wife. The death of his wife made him cold. Apathetic. I assumed that it wasn't every day that he spoke his mate's name.

"You just don't understand how serious war is. The werewolves have evolved since my time. They're faster..stronger than ever. You must be on your guard. Always. Do you hear me?" He said this in a very authoritative tone. But the words showed he cared. It meant a lot.

"I will..." I said again. "I promise." He frowned. As if he knew some hidden future that I did not. It took me a while before I noticed that Marcus was beginning to move. He reached his hand underneath the breast of the material he wore and pulled something out.

"I want you to have this..." He whispered. His pale hand reached forward, and between his index finger and thumb, he held a silver ring with a small, deep-blue jewel in the center. There were beautiful wispy engravings in the silver band. It was gorgeous. It brought tears to my eyes. Through the corner of my eye I saw Caius and Aro shuffle uncomfortably. In obvious disbelief of how kind their brother was towards me. I could hardly believe it myself.

"It..belonged to her. - My wife- Long ago. There are so many things of hers littered about this castle...I believe I can part with this." He said softly. He raised my rigid hand from my side and slid the silver ring slowly onto my middle finger. It was nice. I never wore jewelry but it was quite small and comfortable. The blue stone drew me in intensely. I raised my hand and stared at it in the light.

"The blue suits you.." He muttered. His voice was somber. As if he wanted to be happy but could not bring himself to be.

"It's so beautiful..." I whispered. "But I can't." And there were so many reasons why. It belonged to his wife. It was much too pretty. I didn't want to lose it. And Edward...How would he feel about other people giving me jewelry? Not to mention, he wasn't the Volturi's biggest fan as of late. But Marcus was different. He was beginning to feel like a friend. The only person I could probably talk to about my recent problems.

"You must. Think of it as a kind of protection, if you will." He said. Tiny tears were seeping from my eyes.

"Thank you.." I whispered. I stepped forward slowly and wrapped my arms around his torso. His body was unresponsive but I hugged him all the same. It took a few moments before he tapped me ever so lightly on the back. I let him go and looked up into his eyes. He stared down at me with a worried expression. What did he know that I didn't? He wasn't telling me something.

"I already know what your talent is..." He whispered. "It's so clear...it all makes sense. You will find out on your own soon enough. Be careful. Your gift will be part of the reason why you ended up in this place..." He pat me on the head in a fatherlike way and broke off the intensity of the mystery.

"Go on, now. Your family is waiting." Marcus pulled himself from me. I stepped backwards carefully for a few steps before turning around and walking towards the door. Passing Aro and Caius on the way. The door closed behind me. I stood before the doorway and exhaled. Listening. My family up farther ahead. I closed my eyes and tried to hear the voices within.

"I cannot believe you gave her your wife's ring."

"Just as I cannot believe you've chosen to get _her_ involved. This is far too dangerous for a girl so young..."

_I bought some waffles. They're in the freezer if you want a couple for breakfast. Remember, you're still grounded. Don't make plans. _

I rolled my eyes and folded the piece of white paper before tossing it aside. Charlie never left notes. For his first one to be about how I'm not allowed to make plans (in other words, have Edward over or go out with him) added icing on the top of my Bella-is-in-deep-trouble cake.

"Mmm..but when has that ever stopped us before?" A pleasant voice hummed in my ear. Edward's arms were around my waist. His chin perched delicately on my right shoulder. He sighed seductively again. My body shuddered. He could definitely feel it. I felt him smile against me.

"You still feel so human. You're so warm. I still can't believe you drink blood." He grinned. Over the past weekEdward had been teaching me how to hunt up at Goat Rocks where he and Emmet usually did their own scouting for grizzly bear and mountain lion. How to hide, attack, pounce and kill. I stuck to small sport like deer and adapted quite quickly. I didn't need to feed as often as Edward said I should have as a newborn vampire. It could only be explained by taking into account the fact that I was not a normal vampire. Oddly enough, I did have the odd craving for a slice of triple chocolate cake. The taste was the same. Just as good. But the digestion on the other hand, was not. Which is why I tried staying away from human food as much as possible. I turned around and faced him with a smile. Things were getting better between us. He was playful again. He smiled. He held me. He kissed me. I wasn't sure about how he felt about his father. I wouldn't dare ask. Everything was different between Carlisle and I now. I could barely look at him. But he and Esme were slowly getting better.

"Well, you're in a good mood today." I smiled. Edward turned me around and shrugged.

"I feel good." He smiled. "Everything feels fresh again. Like nothing bad ever happened."

"Yeah. I know what you mean. It _is _kinda hard to forget about the drama with the werewolves and the Illuminati. But it's just so good to be home"

"Even though you're confined to it." Edward laughed.

"Yeah, yeah." I laughed. "And it'll be even worse if I'm late for school." I said, picking up my school bag and flinging it over my back. As always, it never took long for Edward and I to reach school. Upon pulling up in a parking space, I let myself out of the car and stepped out into the moist air. Misty rain was swirling about in the wind, and it sprayed a cold, wet dust on my face that made me smile. We had plenty of time before school started. I leaned against my boyfriend's silver Volvo and thought to myself how I was going to see him after school.

"Alright, so what are we going to do?" I whined after a while. Edward knew exactly what I was going on about and laughed a bit.

"What we always do when you're grounded, unfortunately. We'll have to wait until later tonight." He smiled. It came to my attention then that I had never been grounded before in my life until I met him. I was always getting in trouble for silly things now. Leaving the country. Saving my boyfriend from powerful vampires. Getting kidnaped by said vampires. This was all just a bit much. But it was Edward..and he was so worth it. I pouted as he stood before me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Can't wait, can you?" He mocked me. He said this with an arrogant tone that made me scrunch up my nose in distaste. He laughed.

"You're so cute."

"Mm..No.." I said. "I'm an evil, blood-drinking monster. You should be afraid of me..." I said with a sly smile. Imitating him was entertaining. His eyes flashed playfully, but he tried to look serious.

"Is that so?" He asked, pushing me closer against his vehicle.

"Mhmm...You should probably run away. For your own good, of course. I haven't fed in a while.." I joked before building up a soft purr in my throat and nipping my teeth gently at his neck. Right in the middle of a school parking lot? Did we have no shame? Edward had no problem displaying his affection for me in school by holding hands or a small kiss on the lips or cheek, but we were only fooling around like this because we were completely alone. A good twenty minutes early. Edward's body tensed up in such a lovely way when my lips touched the flesh of his neck. His jaw clenched and he closed his eyes. He looked tormented.

"You _are _evil." He agreed finally. I couldn't help but laugh. Then he looked up and past me. Staring at the empty road up ahead.

"What?" I asked. Then Edward's nostrils flared ever so slightly as he smelled the air subtly. I listened too, and then I heard a loud rumbling. It was growing nearer. I stared at the empty road. Leaning my ear to the direction the noise was coming from. Suddenly, a black flash shot down the road and began to turn into the school parking lot. The noise was at it's loudest. The rumbling. The revving of an engine. The ignition of a shiny, black motorcycle was slowly being shut off, and the leather-clad rider of the motorbike was fiddling quickly with the helmet strap. When it was unclasped and pulled off, I couldn't help but gasp. If my heart still beat, it would have pounded as I took in the sight. Wonderful, long, brown fingers running through his soft, dark hair. His black eyes piercing me. I took in the sight of him. His shapely lips. The leather jacket he wore. The blue jeans that accompanied them. And the way he stared. I watched as the man dismantled the bike and tucked the helmet away in a secure place before walking casually away from his transportation and up to the school without so much as a second glance to myself or Edward.

"...Jacob?"


	6. Nemesis

**Author's Note:** Sorry about the weird transition between Italy and Bella being back home. I put those little stars between the two scenarios, but they never showed up. Forgive me for any confusions. **To answer a few questions: No, I did not make up the Varacolaci vampire. **It was mentioned in Twilight when Bella was searching the computer to find some connection between Edward and him being a vampire. I am too lazy to run to my room and find the page number for you right now. But if you've read the book, I'm sure you have a brief idea of where to find it.** What is Bella's gift? You'll find out later**. I do try to give my readers hints sometimes, but I can't be too obvious. When you know, things will begin to fall together. **Yes, Charlie was VERY angry that Bella was gone for four days. That is why she is grounded**, as stated in the last chapter when he let her know there were waffles in the freezer. Sorry if I didn't make it clear enough. THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS! **You are all SO amazing! **I seriously wouldn't write half as much if it weren't for your support.** I do not own Twilight and/or it's characters. Happy reading/writing and much love! **

**6. NEMESIS**

Edward growled as he looked at Jacob's back with hatred. I watched him in awe. He looked so different since the day he tried to get me grounded. Had it been so long ago? His hair had grown back. He had a more muscular build. He was still tall, as always, but he had a different air about him. More pride. More power. It was disorienting and intriguing.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Edward snapped. I couldn't see Jacob's face, but I was absolutely sure he was smiling as he entered the red brick building.

"Let's go.." Edward said.

"What?"

"I need to get you out of here." He said as he took me by the wrist and began leading me around to the passenger side of the Volvo.

"Edward, stop!" I hissed. "I need to stay. We both do."

"This is strange Bella...I don't like this. I'm taking you home."

"Edward!" I shook my head and pulled my hand from him. "We have to find out what he wants!"

"I can do that. You need to-"

"Edward, he won't tell you anything, you know that!" I whispered. "Please..trust me." Edward looked at me with a stern look before shaking his head and then lowering it in defeat. I stroked his cheek gently and brought his face back to level with mine.

"I'm not weak anymore...you need to trust me. You need me for this." His expression didn't change. I kissed him quickly on the lips before releasing him and running after Jacob through the rain and into the public building. I had to mind myself so I wouldn't run too fast. I could frighten a lot of people with my speed. When the last drop of rain touched my face and I was inside the warm building, I looked back and forth between the halls for Jacob. I couldn't see him anywhere. I sniffed the air lightly for his scent. I turned to the right hall and ran past a group of lockers. Where was he? The scent led me to a history room on the other side of the building. I opened the door and looked inside only to find it empty. I sighed in frustration and turned around. I gasped as I saw Jacob leaning slyly against a set of yellow lockers with a piece of paper in his hand only a few feet away from me. He looked up with a small smile and made eye contact with me.

"Hey, Bells. I can't seem to find the Spanish room. This map isn't very helpful.." He said with laughter in his tone.

"Jacob..." I breathed. He blinked. His smile faded as I said his name. God, I missed him so much. He had changed so much, but so much of him was the same. Especially the way he looked at me. I almost missed it. The way he smiled at me with adoration and a hope that we could be together. Even if we couldn't be, even now, I missed the feeling. He was my best friend. My savior. Now, my enemy. I stepped closer to him. To hug him. To tell him I forgave him for getting me in trouble. I just missed him. I stopped. Put my hand in my pockets and made my eyes cold and questioning.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. Jacob's smile came back and he threw the piece of white paper on the floor carelessly.

"Getting my education. Something wrong?"

"Why here in Forks?" I said emotionlessly. Jacob lowered his head and put his own hands in the pockets of his leather jacket.

"...Didn't Charlie tell you? Well...I guess he hasn't had the opportunity. What with his daughter going on another one of her vacations." He mused. But his face was still somber.

"Tell me what?"

"My father...he's dead." Jacob whispered. He took a deep breath and then looked back at me with glossy eyes. I gasped. My throat tightened. I couldn't believe this. Billy and I hadn't really gotten along well when he found out that I was dating Edward. Even going so far to send Jacob to my prom to warn me. But after Edward left me, and his son and I began to spend more time together, he was much more tolerable and a very nice man. He was even more open with me when I found out about Jacob being a werewolf. He was never in the best of health. He was in a wheelchair because of his diabetes. But I never expected him to go so soon.

"Billy? No..." I breathed. "How."

"Heart attack." Jacob said softly. My head spun. How could this have happened and my father not tell me? I noticed he was very distant lately, but to be this closed off was unthinkable. Perhaps it happened while I was away. I wasn't here to help him through the difficult ordeal. He was worrying about me while he was stressing over the death of his best friend. And not to mention, another of his friends Harry Clearwater passed a few months ago and it was quite hard for him. But for Billy to go? It must have killed him. I stepped closer to Jacob slowly. He stared at me. Unmoving. I slunk my arms around him. Just like I used to. I rested my head on his chest and rubbed my fingers over his back.

"I am so sorry..." I whispered. Jacob was unresponsive for a few moments before finally giving in and snaking his arms around my shoulders and sliding his fingers through my hair and massaging his fingers against the scalp at the back of my head. He leaned his face towards the top of my head and breathed me in as he and Edward often did. Then his body went stiff again. His head raised from my own, and he looked over me. I heard growling. I released myself from Jacob and turned to see Edward standing proudly. Staring with his gorgeous gold eyes.

"What the hell are you doing here, Black?" He said in a harsh, yet controlled tone. Jacob released me and stepped away as if the bonding act never happened. He smiled sinisterly.

"As if you don't already know..." Jacob laughed as he tapped his index finger to his own temple.

"You just pry your way in whenever you feel like it. That's very rude.."

"Your circumstance is unfortunate and I'm sorry. But there is no reason for you to be here." Edward hissed.

"La Push just doesn't feel the same anymore since my dad passed. Forks is starting to feel a lot more like home..."

"Don't cause any trouble. Leave now while you still can."

"Is that a threat, Cullen?" Jacob said. His body went hard. His eyes cold. His jaw strong. Facing the challenge my boyfriend presented. A chill ran down my spine. He was so like Edward in so many ways. Especially now as they stood before each other. Me standing in the middle. Same stance. Same stare of hatred.

"Don't worry, Edward...in only a few days time, you and your mosquito family won't even be an issue..."

"Problem, Jake?" A voice shouted. I looked down the hall from Jacob's direction and saw two familiar looking boys walking side by side towards Jacob. Embry. Quill. Jacob's two friends.

I remembered them hanging out with us in Jacob's garage while he fixed our motorcycles. Then, Jacob came to me, really scared, and spoke about how he was afraid for Embry since he started keeping company with Sam Uley and his little "cult". Later that summer I found out why. They were werewolves. All of them. Some of the young men at the La Push reservations turned into a werewolf if their forefathers before them were werewolves as well. Jacob's father used to be the leader of the tribe. So did his great grandfather Ephraim. The older members of the pack were not there. Sam, Jared and Paul. They were too old to attend Forks High by now. But half the pack was here. Quill got taller. His hair was short and black. His face rounder than his two friends. Embry had collar bone length hair. A nicely pointed nose and more narrowed eyes. But none of them compared to Jacob. Not at all.

"None whatsoever.." Jake said in a demeaning tone. "Let's go." He said. The authority he said it with was amazing. I never saw this side of him before. I was at a loss for words. They began to saunter away from Edward and I in a different direction.

"See you in Spanish, Bells." Jake called over his shoulder. Then he was gone. Edward mumbled something distasteful while running his fingers through his hair and looking at me.

"What's going on..." I whispered. Edward gritted his teeth.

"I'll kill him!" He yelled.

"What is it?..." I walked before him and looked up into his eyes. "Tell me!"

"He's here for the sole purpose of getting closer to you...to take you away from me before the war starts...He doesn't know that you're a vampire." He looked at me with anguished eyes.

"That'll never happen." I said. He still looked pained.

"T-there's more...isn't there?" Edward looked at me and opened his mouth to speak.

"His father is dead.."

"Yes. I know that. He told me."

"This changes everything."

"How! Come on Edward!"

"He's the leader now, Bella!" Edward hissed. "His father was leader of the tribe and now that he's gone...Jacob is it. He's stronger than he will ever be...right now.." Edward whispered. My mouth gaped open slightly.

"We had the upper hand before..." I said in understanding. "Billy was the leader, but he was also very weak. Too weak to fight. But now he's gone...and Jacob is in command." I whispered.

"I need to tell the family. We have to get this shit over with..before this gets worse" Edward said. He began to turn around and head for the door.

"Edward!" I yelled before running him. I grabbed hold of his jacket and made him look at me.

"Before Jacob was ever the leader, he was extremely strong." I said quickly. Edward scoffed.

"No! Edward, you don't know...I've seen him. Him and the others. And even Marcus told me. The werewolves are stronger now than they may have ever been since you last had to fight one...please..be careful." I stared at him. He looked at me. His face softened. He cupped my face with his hand and kissed my forehead.

"I will if you will. How did he get into your Spanish class? I couldn't even talk Mrs. Cope into letting _me_ in." He jested.

"I don't know...but with this war just starting, we can't put anything past them." What was I saying? Jacob was my friend. I loved him. Each day when Edward was gone, the hole in my heart widened. But every time I was with Jake, the hole closed. Just for a few moments. I could breathe. I could think. Jacob healed me again to the point where I could sleep. I could eat. I could go outside and be in the sun. He made me smile and laugh. And if Edward never came back to me, he might have been the one. Maybe. But that wasn't the case. Edward was mine again. I was his. And I needed to protect him any way I could.

"I know." He spoke. "But I need to go. Quickly. To make sure my sisters and brothers come prepared." He took a deep breath. He looked scared. Like he was..shaking. I didn't like it. I held him closer to me.

"Please...please...be careful. I don't know what I would ever do if-"

"I think- Jacob still cares about me. I don't think he would hurt me. He doesn't know what I am yet."

"He loves you...still." Edward corrected. "I just don't know what I'd do if you left." He whispered. It broke my heart. I had broken so much of his confidence when I slept with his father. Didn't he understand that I was nothing without him?

"Forever." I whispered. "You and I.. Never forget that." I said. Edward looked at me carefully. With love and understanding. He took my hand into his, lowered his head and kissed my hand in a gentleman fashion before turning quickly and running out of school. I heard the chatter of students. School was about to begin. With a reeling mind I sauntered to my locker and got my books for my first class. Spanish would be quite a trip today.

The bell rang for my first period class just as I stepped through the door. It didn't take long to see Jacob sitting around the table that I used to sit at beside Jessica. I scoured the room with my eyes quickly and saw her sitting up front. She turned around slowly and when she caught my glance I gave her a questioning look. She looked at me. Shrugged her shoulders and then turned back around to get a head start on the short note on the board. Hesitantly, I walked towards the table and took my seat beside Jacob. I opened my binder covered in doodle and uncapped a blue pen before I began to write. I bit on the lid between sentences. Glancing quickly over to Jacob. He was obediently copying down the Spanish note in his own binder. His own writing was fast and oddly, quite neat. I watched him with fast eyes. He barely even payed any attention to me. Until I looked over at him when my own note was finished. He was staring at me. As if he was waiting for our eyes to meet. His gaze was intense. The more I stared at him, the more he stared back. Drawn into me for a long time. I looked away.

"That's a nice ring.." He whispered.

"Huh?" I asked. I was bewildered.

"Your ring. It's very nice. You don't usually wear jewelry." He said. It shocked me that he remembered that small detail. But oddly, I felt uncomfortable.

"Where did you get it?" He asked before laughing sarcastically.

"Heh, as if I don't already know.." My cheeks grew red. I could feel it. The heat creeping on. I let my hair fall before my face a little before pretending to write more information down on my lined piece of paper.

"A _friend_ gave it to me, if you must know." I spat at him and his assumption that it was Edward who bought it for me. He didn't lose his composure. He just continued to smile his coy smile.

"Some friend you've got there." He said in a smartass tone. Had his newfound power given him a little bit of an ego trip? He took my hand so quickly I gasped. His eyes laughed at me as we made contact again. Then his beautiful dark eyes flashed to the ring on the ring finger of my right hand. His index finger ran over the dark blue jewel. Then he twisted the band around to better see the entire circumference.

"What do these engravings mean?" He said as he beheld the gorgeous wisps and curls of the cursive text. I eyed him carefully. He looked up at me as if he wasn't truly interested in the ring any longer. A strange feeling swept through me. I gently pulled my hand from his grasp.

"I don't know..." I whispered. I looked up and saw that the teacher was standing before the class beside a large television that didn't even look like it was of this century. Along with a VHS player. The class began to chatter loudly as the realization that we were watching a movie came about.

"Class...class. Quiet down. Before we watch our movie, we have a new student to welcome to our school." Jacob who was sitting beside me stiffened. His lower lip dropped a little out of surprise.

"Uh.." He said. For once, he was at a loss for words again. I grinned slightly at his bafflement.

"Well, come on up!" The Spanish teacher said cheerily. It was annoying. Speechlessly, Jacob rose from his seat and strode to the front of the class room. All eyes were on him.

"Uh..my name is Jacob Black. I'm originally from La Push. I'm 17..."

Jake stopped talking as he heard the class' small murmers of how he was a year younger than the rest f us. The fact that he got to skip a grade while transfering proved just how smart he really was.

"He's cute!" I heard someone whisper quietly behind me. Laura was whispering to a girl beside her. She caught my eyes and gave me a dirty look. I turned around and viewed the class only to see that Laura wasn't the only girl giving my ex-best friend the oogly eyes. I hadn't seen so many girls fawn over a guy all at once except for Edward and his brothers. Without so much as another word, he left the front of the room and sat down beside me again. Gently flipping his head to one side, causing his dark hair to fly behind his back. The teacher said another few words in her foreign tongue that I didn't pay attention to before turning out the lights and pressing play on the VCR. We were looking at the different architecture and landmarks of Spain. It was all really interesting, but I couldn't concentrate. I felt an incredible heat radiate off of Jacob. Werewolves were always warm. And I felt his eyes watching me. I felt a shiver over me. This was so strange. I had to leave. When the lights went on, I pulled an Edward. I picked up my books as quickly as possible and left the room before anyone could even rise from their seats. The whole day went on similarly. Edward wasn't in any of my other classes. But Jacob was. Taking Edward's spot and sitting beside me. Staring at me. Warming me with his body heat.

My fourth period class ended. Gym came after Trig. I didn't dread P.E as I usually did, but I was worried about Edward? Why was it taking so long? Did Quill or Embry bump into him before he could get home and back. My head swam. I felt nauseous at the thought. I ran as quickly as I could through the empty hallway and out of the building to go to the office building across the field. I needed to use a phone. Outside the buildings were payphones that charged a quarter per call. I searched through my pocket for a coin. Any coin before sliding it into the slot provided and dialing Edward's number quickly. It rang. And it rang. And it rang. I was getting anxious. Worried. I hung up the phone and turned around, prepared to run to large white house when I bumped into a strong form.

"Emmet." I breathed with relief. Emmet looked at me with a childlike look of excitement. I was freaking out.

"Where is-"

"Edward is fine." He said. "Though he tells me you have some dogs joining you here at Forks High."

"Yeah.." I said in a hurry. "Jacob is here. So are Quill and Jared."

"Edward told me the whole thing." He said before gazing up at the grey sky. "He told me to give you this.." Emmet reached behind him and pulled something from the back of his pants. I watched in fear as he pulled the piece of weaponry from behind him. A gun. It looked as if it was heavier than it seemed. It was rather small. I had seen plenty of guns in my day, obviously due to my father's profession. But to have one handed to me for the intent of killing was frightening. Emmet opened the chamber and showed me the bullets. Eight of them. Shiny and deadly.

"Silver nitrate.." I said quietly. Emmet smiled.

"You know it. Be careful with it Bella. It can't hurt us, but we can't get ourselves caught. And only use it if you must. We can't kill them all off unfortunately. They know too many things that we need to figure out. We need the info on the Illuminati first." I nodded quickly. Knowing I would never be able to use it anyway. Even if I had to. Especially on Jacob.

"Where is everyone?" I asked.

"Jasper is at home playing hackasaur on the computer. Just getting as much info about the Quilleutes as we can. Just in case we've missed anything. Edward and Alice have already gone to gym class. I'm gonna hang out around here. Just to make sure nothing funny happens."

"Okay...okay." I said. Trying to let all this chaos sink in. "Good. Then I should go..." I said in a hypnotized voice. Emmet touched the top of my head lightly. I think he understood more than anyone else that what happened between Carlisle and I was a huge mistake. He forgave me before Edward even did. He was wonderful. The brother I never had.

"Be careful." He warned before running off in a flash. I looked at the gun in my hand before shoving it down the back of my pants and pulling my blouse over the weapon. I followed Emmet's suit. Running with all my speed. Noone was outside to watch. When I reached the changing room I walked inside the empty room and opened my gym locker. I pulled the weapon out of my back pocket and stuck it inside the metal locker before anyone could walk in and see. I removed my shirt, jeans and shoes and put them in before pulling out my gym uniform and sitting down on the bench to put on my sweat pants. I put my t-shirt on afterwards and laced up my sneakers before rising to close my locker. Then I heard footsteps. Instinctively, and doing what Edward would probably suggest, I picked up the gun and pulled back the frizzen until I heard a click. My dad showed me how to use a gun once. Strictly in self defense of course. I gripped the gun properly and put my finger over the trigger. If it was Jacob, I wouldn't have the nerve to pull it. And for Quill and Jared, it would be just as hard. Even if they were threatening me. I felt pitiful. Holding a gun but being too scared to use it. These people used to be my friends. They saved my life. They protected me when Edward couldn't. I lowered my stance and walked back to my locker when the sounds of footsteps and breathing stopped. Paranoia on my part. Nothing was there. I placed the gun in my locker. Hoping that the thing would be gone when I returned. Then I left for my gym class.

I walked into the gym slowly and saw that Alice and Edward had already changed. This was the first time I was one of the first people to be out and ready for this class. I used to dread it. I would drag my feet as much as possible and hope that I missed something important. The three of us matched except that Edward and Alice wore red shorts instead of the grey sweats that I did. We shared the same grey shirts that said "Forks High" in the front and back. My hair was tied back in a ponytail. The both of them ended their conversation and looked to me when I stood beside them.

"Are you alright?" Alice asked. It shocked me the way she spoke so casually. It shocked me that she was talking to Edward civilly a few moments ago. As much as things had changed with us, I didn't want to worsen it now.

"I'm fine." I said in a natural tone. Edward didn't look convinced.

"In all your other classes too, isn't he?" His eyes questioned me. I didn't even need to answer for him to know.

"Damn it. What the hell is he trying to pull? How is he doing this?"

"It's not that big a deal." I said. "They're just trying to throw us off our game"

"What game?" Alice said lightly. "Jasper turned up with no results. We've got nothing."

At that point, the majority of people in our class began to emerge from the changing room doors. The last boys to make their appearance was Jacob, followed by Quill and Embry.

The gym teacher Mr. Morton was tugging a net sac of balls into the middle of the gym. Everyone justled about and mumbled gleefully at the realization of today's game. I looked to the other side of the gym and saw the three new boys standing around in a circle and talking amongst themselves with sly grins all around.

"Alright, we need to split into two teams!" Mr Morton yelled. "Whichever side you are on or closest to, stay there!"

After we had all shifted our teams to one half of the gym, the teacher evened up the teams and moved people to the opposite side if need be.

"Alright! Dodgeball!" Morton yelled. "The halfway mark is the red line across the gym" He pointed to it. "No one crosses it. If you do, you're out. No hits above the neck, or you are out as well."

Edward, Alice and I looked at ache other as we came to the conclusion that we would be competing against the werewolves on the other side of the gym. The teacher was now laying ten volleyballs out on the red line. Wonderful. We'd have to run for these.

As usual, during volleyball games, I hung to the back. Edward and his sister though, moved closer to the red line. Two sharp blows of a whistle later, and the two immediately ran forward for a ball, then moved back. Surprisingly, the game was rather tame. After a while, there were less people on my team t hide behind. I began to dodge the balls for myself. I laughed inwardly as I realized that I was good at this. My new grace made it a lot easier to move out of harm's way. I moved quickly. Flowing between the flying orbs until the chaos in the gymnasium stopped for a while. I looked to the right of me. Alice and Edward stood there. I looked before me. Jacob, Embry, Quill. This was bound to happen. I got nervous. People on both teams were watching. My boyfriend and his sister both had volleyballs in their hands. I did not. Jacob and his friends each had one and some more scattered on their half of the gym. Nothing happened for a while. And then Quill threw a ball. It narrowly missed Alice. She moved out of the way. She threw her own volleyball at him and missed. Edward, however did not. When he threw his volleyball towards Embry, it struck him on his thigh. He squinted his eyes in disgust before walking off to the side and sitting on the "out bench". I avoided the sport brawl as much as I could. And when a ball came to my direction I would move out of the way, retrieve it and throw it to either Edward or Alice. The pace of the game got faster. Our feet began to reach unnatural territory. We were much too swift in the way we moved. Moments passed before anyone else got touched by a ball. I began to hear gasps from behind us. People were becoming far too intrigued by the game. We were making it too entertaining for them. Edward grunted lightly in emphasis as he threw the ball at Jacob in the hopes of catching him. Jacob, with his own hair tied back would move out of the way and throw his own ball back. Edward dodging it with even more grace. I used my power inconspicuously to whisper to Alice in a tone that was too low and fast for anyone else to hear.

"We're running too fast." I said.

"I know.." Alice slowed down her gait and began to walk. She dodged a ball thrown by Embry, but then I saw her give up and let a ball being thrown by Jacob hit her on the foot.

"Play it natural.." Alice said in her supersonic voice. I nodded.

"But look at Edward.." I whispered. Alice's gaze went to Edward. He was running faster than he should allow any mortal to see. It was approaching dangerous territory. I saw Alice's concentration thicken. She was probably talking to Edward using her mind. But her brother didn't listen. Be picked up another ball and threw it so hard and fast, it didn't even look as if we were playing volleyball anymore. He hit Embry. The boy walked off the court with an unphased look to him. The game didn't even include me any longer. I just stood there a few feet away from my love. And the ball didn't come close to me. It felt like hours that Jacob and Edward battled it out. They were both moving quickly. But all eyes were on Edward. How he moved like water. How he whipped the ball at his opponent incredulously.

"Stop..Edward. People are staring.." I whispered. He didn't listen. He was relentless. He wouldn't give up. He threw the ball again. Jacob moved out of the way and threw it at my boyfriend again. Missing him by inches.

"Stop it Edward.." I repeated. Yet another throw. I looked at Alice behind me. She looked extremely displeased.

"Stop!" I yelled. Thankful that no one else could hear me. Then he stopped running. Jacob laughed a little before throwing it at Edward. It hit him on his hard stomach. Hard. I could hear the impact. Edward stood there. Frozen. Staring angrily at Jacob with gold eyes before turning and walking slowly out of the gym in frustration. I stood in the middle of the gym. Forgetting that I was still in the game. Jacob held a white volleyball in his hand again. I stood there. Ready to dodge if need be. He smiled again and dropped the ball before walking to the edge of the gym to the bench as if I didn't even exist. The teacher's whistle sounded again.

"Wow. Good game you guys! Good hustle, Black! Alright. Everyone hit the showers." Everyone murmered and walked to the change rooms. A lot of the guys pat Jacob on the back while they moved to get their showers and a change of non-sweaty clothes. Alice strode up beside me.

"Edward hates to lose.." She whispered.

"Yeah..I know. He would have won...but he was about to let the whole class know what we are. If he had continued, our secret would have been blown."

"Mm...tell him that" She said.

"Where is he?" I asked. She closed her eyes briefly.

"In his car. You should hurry. Go talk to him. Get him to calm down."

"If that's possible. If this is how they play dodgeball, I'm afraid of what's to come."


	7. Ready

**Author's Note: **Hello fellow readers/writers! I'd like to say as usual, **thank you VERY much for your great reviews**.** I would like for you all to forgive me for a couple of things: **First...the time it's taking for me to update. Remember the days where I would post like, two chapters a day? I know, I miss that too. But I have a good excuse. **My school is putting on a play called Dogg's Hamlet and we have been competing outside the city for the past few days. WE WON! Moving to the regionals! That's huge. Wish us luck. **The second is for a little snafu in the last chapter where I mentioned Embry being out of the game and then he miraculously showed up again afterwards. I didn't pay close enough attention to my editing and I missed that detail. I am only human and not half as good a writer as the beautiful Mrs. Meyer so please forgive me. Also, I haven't gotten around to replying to personal messages. Quite sorry. Once again, very busy. And lastly, **a few people have asked if they could translate my story into various different languages. That would be WONDERFUL. Really. **Very flattering. **But please ask me first. Ask again if you have already, just so I can have a more detailed idea of all this I'll give you my e-mail. We can chat and deliberate on what needs to be done. But please, until we have spoken do not post anything having to do with Nocturnal Pulse or Illuminati. A special thanks to those people and I hope to talk to you soon. I do not own Twilight, nor it's characters. Sorry for the long note...holy crap. Happy reading/writing and much love! **

**7. READY**

"Edward..." I said. He pretended to ignore me. One hand on the steering wheel. Watching the road ahead of him with blazing eyes. I sighed in frustration.

"Edward." I said with a little more demanding. He was silent for a long while before speaking. Mumbling to himself.

"That damn dog...Trying to make a fool of me." He jested. I frowned as I took in the full measure of his beautiful yet angry face.

"He didn't make a fool of you. You were amazing. I've never seen dodgeball done like that...Ever." I said. Thinking briefly about the way he moved while playing the intense sport. Why did such simple things he did cast me in awe?

"He still won."

"Is that what this is about?" I asked. "You pretend to lose to mortals all the time."

"Exactly. But he's...different. You know that. He wants you."

"And your point is?..." I whispered. He went silent for a while and then turned his face to me. Though he stared deeply, the car never swayed an inch past the painted lines.

"Other people have had crushes on me before..." I scrunched up my face in thought of Tyler Crowley. "But I'm with you..Aren't I?" I said. I touched his free hand. His face softened slightly but he still had a look of worry that displayed themselves in his eyes and the perfectly shaped brows above them. He shook his head. Then I heard a ringing. It startled me slightly. I jumped. Edward smiled a crooked smile before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a rather flat, silver cell phone. I had no idea he had one of those. I watched as he retrieved it before he flipped it open with one hand.

"Yeah?" Edward breathed. I stared at him. From the other end of the phone I heard Jasper speak. Edward was still angry with him. Just as he was with Alice. But these were desperate times. And it looked as if my beautiful boyfriend would do just about anything to win against the werewolves. To keep me as his own.

"Is Bella there with you?" He asked.

"Yes..." Edward said. His eyes were deep. Something was wrong. There was silence over the other end of the phone. I listened closely with my keen ears. Trying to pick up some information. There were no words for me to work off of so I watched Edward. His body tensed. His lips formed a line. Not good.

"We need her here." Is all Jasper said. Edward closed his eyes and flipped the phone shut in movements so fast it still scared me.

"What's wrong?" I breathed. He looked to me. Beautiful. Distressed. He picked up my hand in his own and brought it up to his lips before giving it a comforting squeeze and speeding the rest of the way to the house. When I got out of the car and ran up to the large white house with Edward's hand in mine, Esme opened the door for us.

"Good. You two are home. Are you alright?" She said. Edward who still looked angered and worried touched his mother figure on the shoulder but growled and quickly walked passed her and into the house. I didn't know what to say to her. She was still kind to me. Even after all I had done. I knew now that sleeping with her husband was not my fault, and I knew to some degree that she believed it. But it didn't stop me from feeling guilty. From feeling awkward around her. But a kind of affection in my heart was reserved for her. For her understanding. Her forgiveness. Her husband though, I still couldn't look him in the eye. I would never be able to again.

"What happened?" she asked as she reached forward to take my coat.

"He had to lose a game to Jacob in gym class." I said. Trying not to make eye contact with the wonderful woman.

"Oh dear."

"Yeah...He's vampirey and all, but just like any other guy. I'm thinking he doesn't like his ego being bruised to badly."

"Bella! Esme!" I heard a call. When I turned around I saw a fury of spiky black hair flying towards us. I looked at her for a moment. Wondering what the rush was.

"You guys are gonna want to hear this." Alice breathed. Almost as if she were out of breath. The three of us walked upstairs -my strides finally matching up to their own- and made our way to one of few rooms in the Cullen house that I hadn't spent much time in. Jasper's study. It was more modern than Carlisle's. The room was large. There was a large, black desk that held supplies such as pens and books scattered neatly about. But Jasper was sitting in the middle with a white laptop before him and the family littered around. Except for Edward. Looking distressed. Probably having heard from Jasper's mind everything that the rest of the family was waiting to hear. His hands ran through his fingers and paced the room.

"Jasper..." Esme said. The handsome blonde looked up from the glow of the eerily glowing screen and made eye contact with Esme.

"Stop beating around the bush Jazz. What the hell is going on?" Rosalie asked. She stood beside Emmet with her arms folded. The brawny young man stood with the same look of confusion. Carlisle sauntered in a few moments later. Pinching his fingers slightly against the bridge of his nose. Something told me he already knew the news. This was driving me insane. Alice, Jasper, my boyfriend and his father figure already knew what was going on. Why couldn't the rest of us? Then he began.

"We all know one vital piece of information right now. And that is, that Billy Black, former leader of the Quileute tribe is now dead." There was a silence over the Cullens now. Edward stopped his pacing and stood by the tall window of his brother's study. Looking at Jasper with a look of disgust I had only seen a few times before. It made me shiver. I walked over to him slowly and wrapped my arm gently around his waist. He slid his fingers into my hair and brought my head closer for his lips to kiss. He held me as if he never would again.

"There are special advantages to being the leader of a werewolf tribe. Dominance. Power. Control. And strength. Unlike any other werewolf that may be in that tribe. And that power is passed down through a bloodline. To the firstborn son of every leader. But that power doesn't come to be fully harnessed until the death of his father.

"So now that Billy is dead, Jacob is the leader. And he gets the strength of his forefathers. Tell us something we don't already know." Rosalie said. I was thinking the exact same thing. What was Edward so tense about? Was he so speechless that he couldn't tell me? Then he began to speak.

"Jacob's ascension into full power happens during the next full moon."

"And...I saw him.." Alice began. Her fingers pressed to her temple. "Attacking us the same night. Tomorrow night. Right after he gained his powers."

"Tomorrow night?" I whispered. "No...no we're not ready." I said. But really, I was thinking about Jacob. A leader of an entire tribe? That's why he seemed different somehow. He had a powerful air to him that was very present today. He had changed. I had changed. But the way he looked at me remained the same. The memories of him taking care of me and saving my life stuck in my mind. I couldn't hurt him. And I couldn't imagine him ever hurting me. And tomorrow..there would be war?

"That won't stop them.." Emmet said.

"We're lucky we got as much warning as we did.. But the decision was only made today.." Alice said. "We have to prepare."

There was silence in the room. As far as I could see. Any of them could be communicating to Edward right then but no lips moved. Not a muscle was inched in any direction. But it didn't take long to notice that everyone was soon looking at me. For the first time I saw Edward bite down a little on his bottom lip and turn away from me as if I had done something wrong. Then something dawned on me.

"The Illuminati." I said. The room remained silent. I looked to Jasper. Alice. Edward.

"Do they know what it is?" I asked. My heart would have thudded if it could beat. I felt faint. No one answered me.

"The Illuminati! Do they have it?" I demanded. A loud crash sounded from the other end of the room. Water splattered against the wall. A broken vase lay shattered on the floor. The glass digging into the flowers. An unwanted memory triggered in my head. Broken vases crashing to the floor the night I came to be with Carlisle. I looked to him out the corner of my eye and saw that his weight shuffled and he folded his arms to his chest while inching his way closer to his forgiving wife.

"This is your fault! Both of you!" Edward yelled. He pointed a long finger at Jasper and then Alice. "You two and that damn Marcus! All of the Volturi can burn in hell for getting her involved! Why her? Why?!" He yelled. I walked to Edward and stood before him. Ignoring the glass splintering further beneath my feet. There was no pain.

"Wh-what are you talking about?" I questioned. I felt sick. Something was wrong. I had to do with it. I didn't understand what was happening.

"Th-they don't have it, do they?" I said in a quickened voice. Edward winced slightly as I said those words.

"You're wearing it!" He yelled in frustration. My throat closed. It felt as if my lungs were collapsing into my body. I shook my head and looked up at my angered lover.

"You're wearing it...And yes...they know." Edward whispered again in a distressed voice. He took my hand into his and lifted it up higher so that not only he and I could see, but so the rest of the family could as well. The silver band with the enchanting engravings. The oval sapphire jewel sitting prominently in the middle. And the first time while looking at it, I felt as if it was staring back. With a life of it's own. I looked to the Cullens again. All with their different expressions. Alice and her sorrow. Jasper and his shame. Carlisle's eyes shone conflict. Rosalie's cast a sour glare. Esme gave me a look of pity. Emmet was pensive. No doubt thinking of war tactics. I looked deeply into Edward for a look of peace. Serenity. Something to ease my battered mind. He looked at me with almost all the things his family did. But there was also love. Deep love and worry. He rose his hand and stroked my cheek. Brushed the hair back from my face and shook his head with disbelief.

"I'll take it." He said then. "I'll do it. She shouldn't have to." He said with a determination and resolve before walking to Jasper.

_Shouldn't have to what?_

Jasper shook his head and looked to my boyfriend and I.

"You can't. It's been done. Bella is the carrier now. From the moment she put the ring on her finger. She has to protect the Illuminati from now on until the day she-"

"Dies?" Edward spat. He moved in front of me in a sort of protection as if any of his family would rise and pounce on me at any moment.

"So no matter what I do, she's damned? A death clock would have been over her head wether I left her mortal or not? No! I made her. She's mine. Forever. She doesn't deserve this. She's immortal now. This is the last thing she should ever have to worry about! But I guess this was all part of your master plan. Get me to turn my girlfriend into a vampire so she can be the protector of some ring that holds the fate of all vampires?"

"We didn't chose her for this Edward. We just wanted her help. Her powers. We had no idea it would come to this." Jasper said. He did more clicking and typing away at his laptop before closing the cover and moving to his large bookshelves, scouring the walls for something in particular.

"Her powers? She hasn't even developed any yet! Who knows if she ever will? Did any of you ever think that she was probably just another unknowing human who had the misfortune of catching my eye? All this chaos is happening because of you two! For nothing!"

Jasper pulled down a large musty book and turned to his brother with a look of conviction.

"Look at her, Edward! Bella was anything but "just another human". You of all people should know this. She's been bitten. But does she look like a vampire to you? She's special. And that's why she's the carrier." Jasper walked quickly to the table again with the large and heavy-looking book before slamming it down on the wood and flipping the pages quickly. Then he opened the aged and yellowed pages of the ancient-looking gauge to one of the last few pages. A large picture stared up at the family.

"Look familiar?" Jasper said. Everyone peered over to catch a glimpse. I peeked over the portrait but it didn't take me two seconds to realize who it was and why everyone was looking at me with the funniest expression.

"Marishka.." I whispered. I looked at the pretty, mortal-like vampire who was the briefest mirage of my own image. Marcus mentioned how much I looked like her. It was scary, but he was right. Her lips too full for her jawline. Straight, prominent eyebrows. A slight smile splayed across her lips. Wavy dark hair.

"Marcus' mate..." Carlisle said. "You know who she is?" I was bewildered. This was the first time I had spoken to Carlisle since the night Edward nearly killed him. I refused to make eye contact and acted as casually as possible.

"Y-yes...Marcus told me about her. She was killed in battle. He said I reminded him of her..so he gave me the ring." I said as I slowly raised my hand before my eyes and examined the exquisite jewelry. It wasn't boastful in the least. The jewel was rather small. The band wasn't too thick or extravagant. You would never peg such a ring to be the elixir of the vampiric existence. But as I stared into it, it seemed to whisper a kind of story into my mind. I looked up at Carlisle who was shaking his head.

"This is not like Marcus. He never spoke of Marishka since she died. Did he tell you at all how it happened?" He asked. I stared at him but was careful not to look to hard. I shook my head and looked at the floor instead.

"No...Just that it was the werewolves who did it."

"So none of us knows. This is helpful. I say we stop pussyfooting about and start preparing. Guns to arm. Silver bullets to be made. Time's a' waistin'." Emmet said, casually shuffling towards the door. Alice stopped him by holding onto his arms gently.

"No...I know something. But only what Aro had told me during my journeys through Italy."

"That is, _if_ it's true.." Rosalie said. "Aro's been screwing with us this whole time. How can we trust anything he's ever said?" I nodded in agreeance.

"We don't have many other choices, dear." Esme said.

"Marishka was the youngest of the Volturi. She wasn't made until 1010. Marcus and Caius were visiting a coven in Romania when they found her laying in an alley. Just bitten. Dying. Wearing the ring. Apparently she didn't remember having it before, but never took it off since. Marcus, who didn't have a companion at this time found her to be very beautiful. He was drawn to her somehow. He took her with him back to Italy where he nursed her into her vampirism and they married a century later. Many more centuries passed before curiosity took her and she began to wonder who it was that made her. She studied the ring and found out what it was. The ring forged long before the times of Christ by a warlock vampire named Atreus to give vampires the ability to roam in daylight. But should this jewel be destroyed, all vampires who had ever seen daylight would be vanquished. So he bestowed the ring to a vampire. To wear for eternity. To protect until the end of the world so that all vampires could continue to live. But Atreus was wise. And he knew that if he gave it to someone who was a blatant vampire, that creature would be hunted to the ends of the earth."

"So he gave it to a human..or a vampire that looked like one." Edward interjected. Carlisle nodded silently towards his son.

"The ring must be given to a Varacolaci vampire to protect. But they are very rare. Few and far in between. Anyhow, in the 1900's, a war raged between the Volturi and Billy Black's father Ephraim's pack. The werewolves nearly conquered. Marishka died in battle. The ring was found on her body. Luckily, unharmed. "

"It says in the archives that she may have had a child after she was bitten..." Jasper said, looking up from the book.

"But there's no proof or records of the child anywhere in here."

"After?" I interluded. "But vampires can't reproduce."

"Well, Varacolaci vampires are somewhat human. Perhaps they can." Alice said. I shook my had and stared at her. I could still have children? The thought shocked me more than it should have. Since I was made, it never occurred to me that I couldn't have kids any longer. This just meant that not much had changed since I was bitten. But who was the baby for? Marcus? Or was she with someone else before? If Edward and I had sex, would I have his child? Too many questions. I didn't like it.

"Okay..I'll do it." I said.

"What?" Edward asked.

"I'll protect the Illuminati." I said as I fiddled with the ring on my finger. "Who else will if I don't?"

"Bella, this is too much. Too dangerous. You could be killed. You heard what happened to Marishka." Edward pleaded.

"I have to do this."

"No...Run away with me Bella. We can go anywhere. Anywhere you want. So long as we live here in Forks, some morbid force will always try to force us apart. Let's leave this place. Just you and me. Forget the Illuminati and the Volturi. None of it matters." I stared at him. His voice was bold and demanding but his eyes begged. I reached out to him with my fingers and touched his face.

"It matters to me." I said. "We have to fix this. So that the Quilutes never touch this ring. If they do...it will kill us all" Edward exhaled and brought my body close to his own. He allowed me to burry myself into his body. He breathed me in and I did the same. His smell never changed. I wished it never would. And his touch was even better. Almost bringing me to my knees. I kissed him gently on the lips before I became aware that we were still standing before his entire family. I released his soft lips and turned to the family.

"So it's settled then. Tomorrow we feed early and then we go to La Push and drop in on Jacob's ascension. Meet them before they can surprise us. Right?" I said. Noone argued. I waited for someone to question my motives, as one of them always did. This time they just stood there. Staring in disbelief. I must have sounded more brave than I actually felt.

"I'm tired...do you mind if I stay the night?" I asked. I didn't care who answered. I just wanted to sleep. I was drained. Yet it was nice to know. I wouldn't have known what the hell to do with my time if I was a vampire who could never sleep.

"No...no. Of course not." Esme said. "Edward will make you a suitable bed to sleep in."

I nodded in response and took hold of his hand. Nodding a silent goodnight to the bewildered family.

Edward and I walked down the long hall of the extravagant house and made our way upstairs to the comfy setting that was his room. White walls. Wood floors covered in gold colored carpeting. His large leather couch and his mindblowing cd collection. I loved this room. I could see the darkening sky from his floor-to-ceiling window. It made me even more dreary. I payed little attention as Edward shuffled around his room preparing the sofa for me. I fiddled with his music library carefully and slid in a mellow classical cd that would help put me to sleep. When my bed for the night was ready, Edward stood silently before it. I moved closer to the leather couch and slid into it. Snuggling between the pillows and sheets that Edward had so carefully dressed it in. When I lay in it, it felt incomplete somehow. I beckoned to my lover. He smiled gently and lay himself into the couch so I could rest my head into his chest and use his perfect body as pillow. I ran my hand over his hard chest and let the feeling of him take me to paradise. He stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head. Humming gently to the slow music that played in the background. He played with my fingers lovingly. Bringing the tips of my fingers to his lips. Such small and loving things he did that made me smile and my stomach flutter. He would give me these feelings forever. Then his thumb ran gently over the blue jewel.

"Are you ready for this?.." Edward asked. I had been hoping no one would ask me that. Ready? What did that mean? Would I ever really be? Ready to fight with my best friend? Ready to live forever. Ready to see someone die- heaven forbid. Ready. Was I ready? I thought to myself for the longest time. I didn't even realize how long I was contemplating until Edward spoke:

"What are you thinking, love?" He said as he rubbed his index finger over my back. I shivered and gasped, then smiled meekly and looked up at him. He meant the world to me. It didn't matter if I was ready or not. I would do anything for him. But I had to answer in the best way I knew how.

"When you left me, Edward..every day I just wanted to throw myself in front of a car." I began. What an awful way to begin. My boyfriend stiffened. I heard him exhale in what was probably disappointment in himself. I kept going. Trying to cover it up so he wouldn't feel too badly.

"But Jacob made things better. He kept me company. Made me laugh. Told me it was okay to cry. He was my rock. My everything...And I loved him." Edward was rigid now. His breathing stopped. He didn't move a muscle. I could feel that he wasn't even looking at me anymore. But I had to tell him the truth.

"I loved him. I love him still. To this day he holds an amazing amount of my heart..and my soul...but if he ever tried to hurt you...I would kill him myself." I whispered. Then I felt Edward take a hold of my body and gently hoist me closer to him. I faced him. His hands cupped my face.

"This was the last thing I wanted...for this war to make you bitter." He whispered.

"Not bitter." I disagreed. "In love. So in love with you Edward. And I will not lose you again..." I said with a lump in my throat. I was starting to cry again. Edward wiped the tears gently and brought his lips to my own. I lay atop of him and kissed him for what felt like hours. I touched him and exalted in the feeling of him touching me. This is what I was willing to fight for. Anything else would be insignificant. When neither of us could breathe coherently, we let each other go. Edward eased me onto his body again and I drifted off to sleep.

"_Jacob!" _

"_Run Bella!" _

"_Why? Jacob? Jacob, what's wrong?" _

_I was standing in the forest. The one that Edward told me to never wander alone. Jacob was there. Telling me to run. To where and from whom was my only question. So I stayed. And then he began to cringe and shake. My dear Jacob, convulsing on the ground. I inched my way closer to him. Slowly. Afraid of the noise he was making and the horror of it all. And then from where he previously lay, a large, bear-like dog with redish brown fur rose, It growled into the distance. I peered through the branches and leaves of the forest and saw the slightest bit of white light radiating off of a figure in the distance. I walked closer to see but the beast to my side roared and moved before me. I listened closer and heard a growling in the distance. _

"_...Edward?" I moved away from the large monster and tried to move closer to the familiar sounding growl. As I got closer I could see him. His beautiful pale skin. His perfect auburn hair. His shirtless body glowing in the moonlight. When he smiled, he revealed the most brilliant white teeth. I reached out to him. He looked at me. Softening his face. He took a step towards me. The animal near me howled in fury at his advancement and began to lunge over the forest floor to the beautiful man on the other side. The animal that was once Jacob pounced upon him. Biting at his bare flesh. Ripping. Feeding. The screams of Edward echoed and reverberated off of the air and I could do nothing to stop it. _

"_Edward!" I screamed. "Jacob, stop! Please!" But he didn't. He hacked. Slashed. Completely annihilated. Until the screams stopped. _

"_Edward!" I ran to him and the animal that dominated him. Unafraid of the beast I pushed my way to him. It was the most horrendous thing I had ever seen. Blood. So much blood. And Edward was stark white. Whiter than I had ever seen him. His bones broken. Body battered. Staring up at me with glossy and blooded eyes. _

"_Bella..." He whispered. He exhaled. Then he breathed no more. His eyes didn't blink. His lips didn't move. Completely motionless. I placed my hand onto his chest and lifted my hands to see them drenched in the coldest of blood. _

"_No...No...no...no..." _

"Bella..." A wonderful voice whispered. Edward. He was dying. Calling to me with his dying breath.

"Bella!" He yelled. Something shook me awake. My eyes shot open. My face felt wet. With blood? I wiped at my skin frantically until a hard figure made me stop. I looked to him. Edward. I sobbed hard and then crushed my face into his chest.

"You were dreaming, Bella. It was just a nightmare. You're okay..."

"No...no..."

"Shh...you're safe. You're okay."

"It felt s-so real.."

"It wasn't darling. It's okay..." He said. He kissed my head and wiped my tears. He shook me gently in the most comforting way.

"Tomorrow. You can't come tomorrow."

"Bella I-" Edward started. He was obviously extremely confused.

"Run away." I begged him. I clung to his shirt and stared at him in the dark. "Go far away, just like you said we should. And when this is over I'll come to you." I said. He shook his head simply.

"You have to go..."

"You know I can't do that Bella...I'm not leaving you here."

"Edward, no you don't understand."

"It's okay. Shh. You're just tired and scared. Try and get some sleep. Everything's fine." Edward began to humm the music that was still playing lightly from his stereo. I shook freverently and closed my eyes. Trying to forget this war was raging. Trying not to dream again.


	8. Dance

**Author's Note:** Well, this was fun to write. I hope it's a good read. I've been kinda boring lately. Writer's block blows...but cut a sista' some slack haha. God, I'm tired. Been writing for seven hours. My, my. Enjoy!** I do not own Twilight, or the characters of the book**. Happy reading/writing and much love. -going to sleep-

**8. DANCE**

The whole day, I could do nothing but think about it. Them. The dream. Jacob and Edward. It haunted me. Even as I wandered up the rocky peaks of a distant forest and sunk my teeth into the neck of a bear that Edward took down. Edward tried to calm me down. Distract me. But everything we did reminded me that we were preparing for the war impending that night. I couldn't have Edward come. Thoughts were bubbling inside me. And my intuition told me that if my beloved came, something wrong would happen. I could run away with Edward, like he said. To keep him away. But there would be some other werewolf pack somewhere else that would be just as pleased to take the ring away from us and destroy it. My mind was chaos.

"Here. Put this on." Rosalie said. I sat on the edge of her bed and watched her scour through her closet for something dark in color for me. As comfy as Edward's button-downs were, I couldn't very well wear them to La Push tonight. I watched her. Her beautiful figure as she floated from side to side of the walk-in closet. Her blonde hair flowing. Her pale skin radiating a glow from the fluorescent lights. I wish I was unnatural like her. I wish I looked unliving as I was. Why did I have to be this...thing? Varacolaci...I frowned as I examined the clothing. They were beautiful. The material was very soft. And I would have to fight my best friend in them. Rosalie turned to me and gave me a look of disdain.

"Not what you expected?"

"No no. The clothes are fine. Thank you."

"No, Bella. Immortality." She said. I blinked at her questioningly.

"Well, no but-"

"I can't say that I expected any of this either though. None of this shit ever happened until you joined us. The Cullens have had their share of heartache and warefare...but not like this. You should be proud." Rosalie smirked subtly and went back to looking through her closet. My blood boiled. I clenched my teeth and stared at her hard.

"Rosalie, you know what? I've had enough of this from you! You're the only one who doesn't seem to understand what's going on. Even Esme has forgiven me! Everything I've ever done is because I love your brother more than anything. It's not my fault that I slept with Carlisle. I don't love him. I never did. And I know you've been with your brother and sister longer than I've been around, but it was Jasper and Alice who did this. So stop pointing your finger at the newcomer and direct the blame where it belongs. They did this!" I said, before raising my hand that wore the ring. I flashed the small, blue jewel before her face in anger.

"_I _am trying to keep you alive. All of us. Especially Edward. _I_ was more betrayed than you were."

Angry tears were beginning to flood from my eyes. Rage. Such rage. Rosalie and I would never be friends. I came to terms with that a while ago. But why did she have to hate me so much? Why did she keep bringing back things that I would rather not remember. Things that were far from my control. I didn't let Rosalie see my face as I grabbed up the clothing and moved behind a rice paper screen in the corner of her room. I changed with haste. I put on the comfortable, stylish dark pants, a navy blue t-shirt and a black denim jacket. I liked the outfit. It actually fit me properly. I walked from behind the screen and examined myself quickly in the mirror. Dull. Boring. As always.

"Thanks again, for the clothes.." I said before walking to the door.

"..Bella." Rosalie started. I turned around and faced her.

"Yeah?" She looked conflicted. She looked at me. At the floor. She put her hands in her pockets and then took them out. Then she looked at me with a firm and determined face.

"Kick butt out there, okay?.." And then she turned around and began examining a number made of leather. I smiled at her and departed silently.

"Where the hell did you put the knives?" Emmet shouted down the hall. I almost crashed into him but he stopped the catastrophe.

"Oh, Bells, you're here. Good. You need to get downstairs, pronto." I eyed my brotherly figure carefully. He looked rushed. Excited.

"...Why?.." I asked.

"To get armed, silly. Now go, Edward is waiting. He's a nervous wreck down there." He passed me and opened the door that I just walked out of. The door closed behind him, but I still heard him:

"Oh yeah...wear that, babe."

I shook my head and walked down the hall and down the staircase. I left the foyer and turned into the livingroom to see quite a spectacle. Weapons. All over the floor and tables. Guns. Knives. Swords. Axes. Bows. Arrows. Everything. We were really using all this? I gasped. Edward, who was just loading a gun with bullets looked over at me quickly. He looked different. He was dressed in black, which I had seen before due to prom last year. But he looked...dangerous. It made me feel horrible that I found it just a little sexy. He had a knee length black jacket on that no doubt held a weapon or two. His eyes were golden and bright from our hunt. He put the gun down and walked to me.

"Good, you're here. Take off your jacket." He said. I obeyed. I took of my light coat and tossed it on a couch. At once Edward took gentle hold of me. He picked up the gun he just loaded and walked behind me. He lifted the back of my shirt lightly. I felt his fingers touch my back and goosebumps soon dominated my body. He stuck the gun in the back of my pants.

"I assume you already know how to use a gun? Daughter of a police chief, you have no excuse not to..." Edward smiled. I could tell he was nervous. I laughed.

"Of course...I just never wanted to use one for this purpose...or any" I said. Edward nodded. He picked up my jacket and slid it back onto my body. He guided himself to an array of different knives. All very shiny and looking almost artistic. Why did people make killing instruments so attractive? Edward picked up a shiny dagger that had a wide blade and a shiny hilt that had the carving of a dragon on it. He held up the weapon for me to see.

"10 inches. Blade made of silver. Be careful with it. Please." He said. I nodded as he stuck the knife into the inner pocket of my jacket. He was done. Now I was getting scared. Thinking about horrible scenarios in which I would need to use the knife and the gun.

"You never taught me how to fight..." I laughed. It came out nervously. Edward smiled lightly.

"You already know how. All vampires do. When we hunt. When we're threatened, we become something else. And so will you. But I'm begging you, Bella...be careful"

I shook my had and looked down. Trying to force my dream from my head. I looked at him. So beautiful. So in love with me. I could feel it. I couldn't loose this feeling. I couldn't lose him. I pulled him close to me. I rested my forehead on his and willed myself not to cry.

"You don't have to do this..." I said. "Stay here. I'll fix everything. I'll protect the ring. I'll protect you...just stay here.."

Edward smile in sarcasm and brought my lips to his. He kissed me ever so gently I thought I would faint. His lips were like..butterfly wings. So soft. Making me smile. Making me cry.

"Never.." He whispered into my mouth. "My place is with you..." He said. He breathed onto me and my head swam. His smell. His touch. It almost made me forget everything. Then I heard footsteps.

"Alright, is everyone ready?" Carlisle rang in authority. I turned to see everyone dressed in dark clothing. Rosalie spared herself no comfort as she wore heels and leather pants. Somehow, I knew that her attire wouldn't affect her fighting skills in the least. Everyone wore a jacket except for Emmet who looked as if he were ready to kill a whole army right then with his bare body.

"Now, this is simple. We're going to cut through the forest way and run past the creek to La Push. Keep an ear to the ground. Step lightly. Stay together, and for heaven's sake, be careful. There are more werewolves in that area that we know of." Carlisle said as he picked up a knife and bent down to tuck it into his boot.

"And Bella?" Carlisle said. I instantly snapped from my trance and looked over at him. He had a serious look of worry that the rest of his family did.

"We trust you. Be careful." He said. I nodded. "Let's head out." Carlisle ordered. Everyone left the livingroom and began to head for the back door. Once outside, the bright, full moon shone upon us. Making us look like perfect ghosts. Carlisle looked to his family and pointed into various directions of the forest in his back yard. First Alice and Jasper took off. Then Rosalie and Emmet, in a quick flash of pale light. When our brothers and sisters were gone, Carlisle looked to Edward and gave him a hard stare. I looked to my boyfriend. He looked serious. He gave a quick nod and then Esme and her husband took off. I drew in a deep breath. I was scared. I wanted to throw up.

"Ready?" Edward asked. I looked at him with wide eyes and nodded too quickly for him to take me seriously. I was shaking. He drew me close to him and rubbed my back.

"We'll get through this. We can get through anything. We always do..." He soothed. "Whatever you do, don't leave my side. Stay with me. Please..." He said. I nodded in compliance. He withdrew and gave me a quick kiss on the lips before he took my hand and we dashed towards the forest. Before we reached the first set of trees, I held my breath. As if we were taking a plunge into a dark, black sea. We ran rapidly. The forest flew by in a fury. I knew we were all blurs. Blurs of colors that couldn't be clearly seen. And like this we ran for only a few moments, yet I could sense we were almost there. I held tight to Edward's hand. I listened to the air. All the Cullens were relatively near by. I made a wish in my heart that despite all the trials we've been through as a family lately, that we could all walk away from this brawl unscathed. Then I heard something. Drums. Deep drums being beat in a rhythmous pattern. Constant and demanding. Could they hear it? Edward could. He squeezed my hand lightly and picked up his pace. I smelled smoke. I heard violins too now. We were getting closer. Up ahead I saw light through the woods. Edward and I continued to run quickly, but used less of our feet to run. We couldn't make a sound. The golden light was coming closer. Like a hand reaching into a vortex.

And then the noise was at it's loudest. The drums and the strings. The smell of smoke and roasted meat was high in the air. There was a chatter of many people. Edward and I met up behind a large bushel behind the rest of the family as we were looking out into the clearing. The land of the forest floor was flat, There were so many people. Men and women. Dancing around a large bonfire. Playing cards. Drinking. Laughing. Playing instruments. This was a party. So many people. Too many people. I grew nervous. I couldn't do this. But we couldn't turn back. They would come for us later tonight anyways. The family sat there in silence and took in the setting that would be our battlefield. Then I heard something from behind us. A twig snap. I sniffed the air. I smelled booze.

"Someone's coming" Edward said in a calm, yet urgent voice.

I spun around quickly. So did Rosalie. She extended her hand into the dark and pulled closer, a young woman with brown hair. Wearing beautiful, thin silks of bright colors. She was obviously intoxicated. When she saw us, her eyes grew wide and she inhaled deeply to scream. Rosalie covered her mouth just in time.

"Make a sound and I'll kill you!" Rosalie hissed. The girl went silent. Completely still. Then her eyes began to roll back slightly. She fainted. I sighed. We all exhaled softly out of relief and drew our attention back to the party.

"There he is..." Edward said. "None touch him. He's mine.."

As soon as Edward said this, my heart stung with fear. I held onto him tightly and looked to Jacob. Sitting on a chair around a smaller fire with his friends. Drinking from an elaborate looking cup. Smiling. He looked powerful. Godly. His sleek, long hair combed down. His beautiful teeth smiling and laughing with his friends. I couldn't fight him. But I couldn't let him hurt Edward.

"No." I said.

"Bella's right. Not yet." Alice said. I looked at her. Didn't she see anything in her head? Didn't she see something about Edward fighting Jacob and losing? Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it really was just a dream. I breathed. Edward would be fine. He had to be. Then I saw someone tall and built stand up from beside Jacob. He raised a large, fine cup as well and began to speak in a thunderous voice.

"Quileutes!" He rumbled. Immediately, all attention was drawn to him. People began to cheer and chant in Native tongues.

"Our time of reckoning has come! The reign of Black blood has come to term again!" More cheers. Men shouted and raised cups or bottles of whatever it was they drank.

"It has been an honor, and a pleasure to fight amongst you men! To lead you all! To take the place of the brave and victorious, Billy Black!"

"Hail, Black!" People chanted. The thunder in their voices made me shudder. There were so many. They looked strong. Fierce. Edward held me tighter to him.

"But he has joined his ancestors in the afterlife! He is at peace. And now it is time for his son, to lead us in this most triumphant battle! Jacob Black!"

People began to cheer loudly. They beat drums in applause. Jacob smiled humbly as people chanted his name. Then he stood. He raised his hand and immediately the large crowd went silent. I watched him. In awe. His presence was outstanding. He looked amazing. Beautiful as always. His mahogany skin glowed in the firelight. The structure in his face was perfect. His pink lips pronounced and sealed in such an adorable way. His dark eyes though, pierced now.

"Quileutes!" He began. At once, the cheering started again. He smiled.

"Our lands haven't been touched by the feet of cold ones in over a century! We have fought, bled, and died to protect this! Our home!" People shouted in earnest. "But my Great grandfather before me, Ephraim Black did something much more. He extended his power across La Push. Into Forks. And over the peninsula! And if a wretched bloodsucker so much as stepped towards the line he made, he would be struck down! Then there was peace. Prosperity. But now.. the cold ones are growing more...bold. Overstepping their bounds! Consorting with our friends! Our loved ones! Putting them in danger.." He paused. "No more! They will be abolished!"

A breath hitched in my throat I watched him with teary eyes. Was he talking about me? He still had no idea what I really was.

"Quileutes!...We are not men who turn into wolves! We are wolves who turn into men! We are warriors! The readiness is all! Tonight is the night. The hour draws near! And my brothers...we will have the blood of the cold ones on _our_ lips tonight!"

Chanting and laughter resounded as people raised their cups and drank to Jacob's name. The Cullens seemed as breathless as I was from Jacob's speech. Except for Edward. Who was probably crawling in his skin from wanting to walk into their party and pulverizing my best friend. Then I heard Alice gasp. I looked to her. We all did. Her body was rigid, but she was swaying ever so lightly.

"Alice.." Carlisle whispered. "What do you see?" She didn't answer. Her eyes were just wide with shock. My heart sunk as I realized what she was probably seeing. I was right.

"Alice..." I said. She ignored me. "Alice!" I hissed. "Was-was someone..hurt? Badly?" I said with difficulty. She looked at me and nodded quickly.

"Don't let him see...close your mind." I said to Alice. She understood and did so.

"What? Do you know what's going on?" Edward asked. I didn't answer. "What did she see? Alice, show me." Edward hissed in anger. We couldn't tell him. If Edward knew that it was him that died in the vision, he would get defensive and go start the fight himself. That couldn't happen. I wouldn't let it. I looked around for a guise. Anything. Then I saw the girl unconscious on the ground.

"Rosalie. Alice. Help me..please.." I said in a frantic voice as I flipped the girl over and began to strip her of her clothing. Emmet turned around.

"What the hell are you doing?" He whispered. Rosalie and Alice were getting the point as I took off my clothing and switched them with the other girl's. I wasn't sure what I was doing, but whatever I was going to do, it had to be done fast. The fine, light material was wrapped around my body and her scarf was draped over my head in concealment.

"Are you sure about this?..." Alice said. I shook my head.

"No..but I can't let him get hurt." I whispered. I looked up and into the distance where the party was getting at it's wildest. "I'll distract them as best I can. Hold him back. Whatever you do, keep him away from Jacob."

Alice nodded. Rosalie was confused, but I knew she wouldn't let me down.

"Who?" Edward demanded. He heard me. "Let who get hurt? Bella, what did you see?" I shut my eyes and took deep breaths. Scared. So scared. But I had to do this. I bent before my boyfriend and removed the silk from my face so I could take his face in my hands and kiss him on the lips.

"I love you." I whispered. And then I rose. And I was off. I heard Edward calling to me as quietly as he could muster.

"Bella! Bella, no!. Come back. What are you doing?"

My feet were bare. When I touched the soil of the ground, I looked over at Jacob who was still sitting with his circle of friends. Drinking some unknown substance. I was just standing there. Like a fish out of water. Watching everyone laugh and talk about how they were going to kill us. A couple of men around my age walked by and gave me the strangest look. They smiled. They rose their eyebrows. They stared. I looked down at my dress. My midriff was showing. There was a belt of jewels around my waist.

"Wow...who are you?" One of them said. I didn't answer. I stepped back and looked at the dirt ground. Amazing...they didn't even know what I looked like, and they were hitting on me. I frowned. I could see Edward in my mind's eye ready to attack. But he couldn't. He would get hurt. A group of three more men walked over.

"Bruce, Kelly. Why don't you introduce us to your new friend?..." The eldest said.

"We don't know. She won't talk.." One of them said.

"A mute, eh?.." Another boy said. "Pretty though.." He said. People kept talking around me. It felt as if the eyes watching me were accumulating. I looked around. I had to get away from these people undressing me with their eyes. I listened to the air in case my brothers and sisters in the forest decided to give me some advice. None. Just the laughter of the gathering. And music. I hadn't danced in so long. I used to do it when I was little, but I was far too clumsy as a child to continue. The last time I stepped foot in a dance studio, a vampire named James very nearly killed me. But I had to do something now.

I listened to the drums and tried to find a beat. I moved from the group to find my space and began moving my feet. This was my distraction. If the Cullens were going to do something, they should do it now. Keep Edward down and do it. The men began to whistle as I moved gracefully in front of the fire. I shook my hips so the jewels about my waist made a pleasant sound, but I was careful not to let the see-through fabric fall from my face. A boy went and got a drum and a violin. He and his friends played the instruments louder for me as I wove my legs gracefully and shook my waist in a belly dancing fashion. The mother-daughter belly dancing classes I took with Rene actually came in handy, now. Soon the group got larger and there was a circle and crowds of people watching me as I spun around in the fabric. I was getting nervous, but didn't stop. I listened. I could feel the Cullens coming closer. I smelled the air. I smelled Edward. He followed.

_No..._

I danced more eagerly to induce them even further. I turned to my left to see that Jacob and his group of friends had stopped talking. Jacob was staring at me. Hard. As if he knew who I was subconsciously. I got bold. I smiled and extended a hand, urging him to come to me. His expression didn't change. His friends laughed and elbowed him in the arm. Then he rose. He walked closer. Someone sitting on a chair moved off of it and made way for Jacob to sit. They treated him like royalty here. A prince as he may be, Edward was my king. And nothing would happen to him tonight. As he sat in the chair and stared at me I moved closer. I made the dance more personal. Just for him. I got close at times. To stroke his cheek. Touch his hair. His chest. He would never reach out to touch me. He just stared. Longing. Hypnotized. As was everyone else. And then..

"The cold ones! The cold ones are here!" Jacob was no longer engaged. He stood immediately and scoured the crowd of people for the vampires that he hated. My heart leaped as I heard guns being shot. I saw two men a far way off begin to roar and tear at their clothing. In no time, they were no longer men, but two large beasts with black fur. They stood on their hind legs and howled to the sky before going down on all fours and charging to Alice and Emmet. Alice shot at one with a gun that looked too heavy for her small stature. Emmet ran forward and stabbed the other in the back with a large knife he pulled from behind him. Two men dead already. Sam Uley stepped to Jacob's side at once and looked at him hard. I could tell that they were communicating silently. Sam nodded and ran into the chaos. He morphed quickly. Into an extremely tall werewolf. Looking like a mix of a horse and a bear. Carlisle came out from the woods instantly with a long sword. I had no idea it would have turned out like this. I looked to Jacob who was unmoving. But I could tell he was anything but scared. I could tell he was waiting for Edward to emerge from the trees. I prayed to whatever deity there was for us vampires, that he wouldn't.

_Stay in the forest, love. Stay safe. For me. Please..._

But he didn't. Soon he charged from the trees as well. Esme and Rosalie behind him. Jacob smiled a sinister smile. Edward instantly moved through the crowd and advanced to Jacob. Then someone stepped between. Quill. He roared loudly and began to tear at his shirt. Edward stepped back and gave him the space he needed to change. Almost daring him to become a monster. He did. And Edward didn't falter. The beast that was once Quill swung a large paw at Edward. He was fast. But not as fast as my adonis. He moved from before him and then moved back in time to swing a fist into the werewolf's jaw. He was obviously annoyed. I knew Edward. And I knew that he wanted to fight noone but the best. He wanted to fight Jacob. Quill snapped his humongous teeth at Edward. I cringed. I had to go help. But then Edward withdrew a long dagger from his jacket. He hit the beast repetitively in the face with the hilt of the knife until it fell to the ground. Edward was prepared to leave Quill and come back to Jacob until the werewolf took one more snap at Edward. Edward growled as it missed by inches. He strode back over and grabbed a mane of hair at the back of Quill's head. He bent his head back. Exposing the neck before drawing out his knife again and slitting the werewolf's throat. I gasped and placed my hand to my lips. I watched as the werewolf that was once Jacob's friend turned from a monster and back into a bleeding and dead human. Jacob was angered. I could see it in his eyes. He removed his jacket and threw it aside before advancing to Edward. And now I knew nothing could come between them and their fight.

"Cullen!" Jacob said. "My turn. Fight me!" Edward growled and laughed. His voice echoed through the night. I looked around and saw how bloody this war was. Crimson liquid was all over. Sinking into the soil my feet walked upon.

"There's no one I'd rather kill." Edward said with a grin. He threw his weapon aside. Showing that he was willing to fight him hand to hand. Kill Jacob with his bare hands.

"Kill me?" Jacob laughed. "Lay down and die Cullen. Give up. Your blood will spill tonight. And I will lay down in Bella's bed with her when all is said and done." He laughed. Edward's eyes blazed with hate. "Fight me!"

Edward lunged for Jacob. Jacob didn't change into the brown haired werewolf he usually did. Not yet. He was the best at controlling his emotions, so he didn't morph. Would he fight Edward in his mortal form? He was weaker that way. Maybe Edward would win. Punches were thrown. Kicks. They both fell on the ground. They both growled and got back up. Jasper ducked from a punch Edward was about to throw and punched Edward square in the stomach. Edward flew back and landed on his back. He rolled over and coughed. Sputtered. My feet were planted to the ground. I couldn't move. It wasn't long before my boyfriend picked himself up. They stood before each other for a long time with their backs hunched. Preparing to lunge. And then Edward moved his legs swiftly. Kicking Jacob in the face. Jacob fell to the ground and held onto his face. Edward moved closer to him.

"Get up!" He commanded. "Get up.." Jacob stood up quickly. Trying to look undefeated.

"I would rather die than let you have her!" Edward yelled. Jacob stared at the ground. His breathing got hard. When he looked up, his eyes were black as the sky.

"Then you will die.." He spoke. His hands began to tremble. He got taller. Hair began to grow on his arms and neck. This was it. He was changing. Edward began to laugh sarcastically as Jacob changed before his eyes. He thought the fun was just beginning. Little did he know, I saw his death impending. My feet began to move. I didn't have any control of them. They just ran towards my boyfriend and the man who would have been my boyfriend if Edward never came back. I stood between them. I loved them both. I couldn't let them hurt each other anymore. If Edward lived, then Jacob would die. I couldn't lose either of them. And then I remembered something that Marcus told me in Italy the night we spoke. And it all made sense.

"_You feel far from Edward.."_

"_Yes. Day after day I feel worlds away from him...And I thought it was my fault before. But now he knows the truth and...nothing is getting better. He can barely even look at me. But I love him...I do."_

"_Yes. And he loves you too. The love between you hasn't changed. Just the trust. You're both in denial about what's happened...Not to worry, Isabella. Your love for him..and his for you will indeed last forever. But I must tell you right now...as your warning going into this war...You cannot have him if you intend to keep him..." _

I removed the scarf from my face and yelled from the top of my lungs.

"Stop! Stop, please!" I begged. Tears streamed from my eyes. Jacob stopped changing. He morphed back into the beautiful human he was. His shirt and pants were ripped. There was blood on his face as there was on Edward.

"..Bella?" He whispered.

"Get out of the way, Bella.." Edward said. I turned to Jacob and looked up at him. I placed my hands on his chest and cried. Jacob placed his hands on my shoulders as I sobbed. Edward growled even further.

"What are you doing?" He asked. I didn't answer. I couldn't bare to look at him right now. Not if I expected to do this.

"I'm yours." I said to Jacob. The raven-haired leader looked at me with questioning eyes. I didn't falter. I stared back.

"End this war. Forever. Don't hurt my friends. Leave the Cullens alone...Let me keep the Illuminati protected...and I am yours..." I pleaded.

"Bella, no!" Edward shouted. His anguish brought more tears flooding forth. I bit down on my lip.

"What is your answer?"

"I don't want you out of a bargain.." Jacob said defiantly. "I want you out of love..."

I shook my head and sobbed. I looked into his eyes and lied the best way I could. Trying to hypnotize him again.

"I do love you. Y-you saved me from myself. When Edward left me..And I've missed you so much when you left..." I whispered. I knew I hurt Edward by saying this. He went silent behind me. I didn't even want to think of the hurt expression that must have been on his face.

"But they are my friends..." Jacob looked at me with the deepest expression. I waited. I heard Edward whimper behind me.

"Don't.."

"People are dying, Jacob! Tell me your answer, please!" I begged.

"Just _having_ you isn't enough..." Jacob said. I furrowed my brows.

"What do you m-mean?..." I asked. Jacob looked at me with a loving, yet stern expression. His eyes swam as he drank in the sight of me. As if he were under a spell.

"Marry me...Be my wife...And this war ends right now." He said. My jaw dropped. Silent tears streamed from my face. Edward begged behind me.

"B-Bella...please..Don't. Don't.." I shut my eyes and tried to block out his beautiful voice.

"I-I will...I'll marry you."


	9. Say It

**Author's Note:** Whee! This is FINALLY getting interesting. I had been SO bored with writing little details and hints for you all. However, more twists are coming, so keep your thinking caps on. This is weird. I usually hate books that keep you thinking too much. But playing with people's minds is fun! God knows how many people I've polluted into thinking sexy ol' Carlisle is a pervert! Haha. Well...**I do not own Twilight or it's sexy characters. Thank you all SO SO SO SO MUCH for reviewing! You rock. I am so surprised and pleased that my words are actually being enjoyed! Happy reading/writing and much love. **

**9. SAY IT**

"I'm sorry, but I have to do this!" I cried. I wiped the tears from my face, but they were replaced quicky.

"Sorry?" Edward yelled. "Sorry? I just get you back and...y-you're leaving me?"

"Edward...me being with Carlisle was an accident. I was tricked, remember?

Please..please, don't bring this up again."

I walked around Edward's room, picking up small things that belonged to me from my nights staying over. Over the times that I lied to Charlie about sleeping over at Angela or Jess' house, a few of my belongings accumulated in Edward's room. Sweaters. Toothbrush and toothpaste. It took all my strength to not pick up one of Edward's button-downs that I usually slept in and stick it in my bag.

"How can I not bring it up?" Edward said. I wiped at my eyes with my sleeve and continued to pack as he kept speaking.

"Look, I know you were conned by the Volturi to do what you did, and I've put that behind me..even though it nearly killed me. But this- This is worse! You're going to _marry_ him?! I mean, we're over, just like that?" He sounded helpless. Angry. Confused. Hurt. I can't believe this was happening again. Everything was getting better. We had bonded. We were closer than before. And now it was over.

"I have to do this!" I said through my tears.

"No...no...you don't..Bella...We can figure this out some other-" Edward said.

"As long as I'm with Jacob, he'll keep the peace. The war will be ended."

"I would rather fight and _die _in a million wars then let him have you!"

Edward yelled. His eyes were black. Furious. I watched his sculpted body hold a tense stance. His fists flexed shut. He was trying to look strong from the outside. But I knew better. I knew he was breaking down. Just like me. I looked at him incredulously. He was telling the truth. He wasn't afraid of death. Especially when it had to do with me. Didn't he realize I was the same? For him, I would drag my heart and soul through the mud.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not willing to take that risk!" I said.

I looked over to Edward's table and saw my brush sitting on the table. I sauntered over and looked at my reflection in the middle. A sad excuse of a vampire. My eyes were puffy and red from crying. The rest of my skin was pale from unwellness. I was a mess. Inside and out. Then the light caught something. I looked down and saw that the top drawer of the dresser was cracked open. I pulled it open a little wider as quietly as I could. And then I saw it. The ring that Edward gave me last month. When he asked me to marry him. I broke off the engagement and went to Carlisle the same night. I raised my hand to my lips and sobbed harder. We should have been married right now. My Edward and I. Wether I was mortal or not. Soon, I would be wedded to a man that only held a piece of my heart. Edward...he owned my entire being.

"Bella...are you trying to drive me crazy? I can't stand the thought of you being with him. How the hell do you expect me to live like this? I can't do this...I can't...I won't...I refuse to live without you." He said. His voice. There was something different about his voice. It was like he was dying. Suffocating. Even though he didn't need to inhale, it felt as if the air was leaving the room.

My conscience took tight hold of my throat and squeezed. I couldn't breathe. Was this really happening? I felt like I was outside of my own body. Watching myself make the biggest mistake of my life. And I could do nothing to stop it. This mistake was keeping my soulmate alive. That's all I wanted.

"You have to.." I sniffled. "You have to live with it...so that what I'm doing for you and your family isn't in vain. For us, Edward. I'm doing this for us! Because I keep seeing you in my head, getting hurt! And I can't let that happen! If you die, _I_ refuse to live." I said. "This way..we can both live." I closed the drawer and zipped my bag closed before flinging it over my shoulder. "Even if it's without each other.." From the corner of my eye I saw Edward shake his head. He looked as if he could barely breathe. I felt the same.

"This isn't living, Bella..." He said. I shook my head and started for the door.

"Goodbye.." I breathed.

"No!"

His body slammed into mine. I closed my eyes and felt him. Edward crushing me to his body in an unrelenting embrace. He sunk to the floor on his knees. Sobbing tearlessly into my shoulder.

"I'm not letting you go..." He whispered. "...I'm not letting you go."

I cried so hard my head began to throb. My body was shaking. I pressed myself to him as hard as I could. I stroked his hair. Touched his skin. I breathed him in. He was weakening me. Making me change my mind. God, I hated to hear him cry. I had only heard it once before and then, I felt like dying. He shed no tears, but I held him as his body trembled. We kneeled there forever. Holding each other. Then he eased his hold on me. He held me away from him before bringing my lips closer to meet his. He kissed me repentantly on the lips. He wiped away my tears and breathed hard while looking into my eyes.

"Don't do this..." He pleaded. I gulped back tears and stared into his face. His copper-colored hair falling into his eyes. I pushed the wonderful tresses away from his face.

"I have to.." I whispered. He stared at me in silence. Clutching to me. Stroking my cheek with his thumb.

"Then..." He began. "Then tell me you don't love me.." He said. I blinked at him in awe. What was he trying to do? I stayed there. Speechless. "Say it...I'm not letting you go until you look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me." My body shuddered. Tears streamed from my face.

"S-say it!"

Time was immeasurable as I pondered his words. Evil words. I couldn't take this.

"...I have to go.." I whispered. I rose from before him and started for the door. I picked up the bag that he caused me to drop before and opened the door to depart. I bit down on my lip to stop myself from telling him I loved him. It was for the best. It was my turn to make a clean break.

I sauntered down the hallway from Edward's room. It felt like I had to walk for miles. The staircase that I took down to the foyer was windy and seemed a lot more narrow than it was. My world was imploding. When I got to the floor, I saw Carlisle and Esme standing there. Waiting for me. They had the most dismal looks on their faces. Carlisle had a gash across the side of his neck. Esme's lip bled a little from the corner. I was suddenly ashamed. There was not a bruise on my body, and yet I believed I was in more pain than them. The guilt for thinking such things slipped away as I began to feel a familiar thing. A gaping. An opening in the center of my heart. I folded my arms as casually as I could, trying to press my arms to myself. To cover the internal wound. To keep the pain from spreading.

"Bella..." Esme said. I stopped a fair distance away from her and her husband. Taking in their disappointed faces.

"You're leaving?"

Carlisle asked. I looked to the floor. He was a wonderful man. A fatherly figure to me at one time. But things had changed. How to talk to him, I didn't know. But then again, soon, I would never have to again. Somehow that hurt me. A lot. But how would that work? How could I break their son's heart and still show up to say hi to the rest of the family? No. Everything was done now. I nodded in response to Carlisle's question.

"Yeah.." I said with a sour smile. "I've done my damage. It's time for me to go.." I said. There was a long silence. I stood there for a bit before taking it as my cue to leave.

"Bella..." Esme said. I turned around.

"Thank you so much..." She said. I blinked back more tears and smiled as best I could.

"No problem..." I said. I raised my hand and flashed the ring that had caused all this destruction. "It's my job now, I guess..."

"No Bella. Thank you for loving our son. It's meant the world to him. To all of us."

"Me too..." I said. The tears refused to stay hidden. I wiped them away as quickly as I could.

"Would you like to say goodbye to the-" Esme began. I stopped her immediately. Holding out my hands.

"No...no, please...I've already broken up with my boyfriend tonight...no more..Could you just-"

"Bella!" Someone called. I saw a fury of black hair fly towards and crash into me. I looked to see Alice clinging to me. I saw Jasper walking towards us from the hallway. I didn't want this. I didn't want this at all. I hugged Alice back, knowing it would be for the last time. When she released me, it looked as if she was shaking.

"Bella...I know you're probably mad at me..at us. But I'd just like to say I'm so sorry. I only did what Aro told me to- I didn't know.." She rambled. I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"I forgive you, Alice..." I said. "It...it doesn't matter anymore." My mind trailed off. "...nothing does..."

Alice sobbed and released me. Jasper stepped forward slowly and wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm sorry..." He whispered. "I'm sorry. We love you, Bells. And thank you." I nodded and hugged back. This was too much. Too much crying. Too much goodbyes. I had to get out of here. When Jasper released me, I immediately went for the door.

"Don't do anything to piss the werewolves off..." I laughed pitifully. Everyone smiled solemnly. I took one last glance at my second family and then walked out the door. Closing it behind me. I wiped at my eyes once more and headed down the gravel path to the road. Knowing he would be there. And he was. Jacob. Sitting on his shiny Harley. Waiting for me. I smiled as best I could hid my face from him so he wouldn't know that I was crying.

"Okay." I said in the cheeriest voice I could muster. "Ready." I began to get onto the back of the bike. He took off his own helmet and passed it back for me to wear.

"Not often that I get a passenger." Jacob said. "Hold on" The black haired man revved the engine and pushed off with his right foot. Soon we were flying down the open roads and back to the small town of Forks. I closed my eyes and rested my head on Jacob's back.

_Don't think about him. Don't think about how much you love him. How much you need him. Don't do it. You're fine. Because you're doing this for him. He knows that...right? _

The ride back to my house was quick. My thoughts had taken me to otherworldly places where time seemed to lapse in strange intervals. I was quick to dismount the motorbike and slip to the asphalt.

"Pick you up tomorrow morning?" Jacob said.

My heart sank to the pit of my stomach. This was so strange. I would wake up every morning from now on -Monday to Friday- and it would not be my auburn-haired prince waiting for me with his shiny, silver Volvo to take me to school. He wouldn't be climbing through my window tonight. He wouldn't cuddle with me. He wouldn't press me to his chest and listen to my dreams. He wouldn't tease me about my messy hair on Saturday mornings. We would never picnic in our meadow on Sundays. How would I live?

"Yeah. Sure." I said. I turned quickly and was about to start walking home.

"Bella." Jacob called. I turned around and walked back towards him. I lowered my head to the ground. There was silence. Then I felt his hand touch my head. Twine through my hair. He raised my face with his index finger and ran his fingers over the length of my jawline. I shivered. I had forgotten how warm his hands were.

"So beautiful..." He whispered. I smiled as best I could and opened my eyes only to see I wasn't dreaming. It was really Jacob before me. No relief. No Edward.

"Bella...I know you're scared now. And confused. And heartbroken, even. But I'd just like to say that..I've missed you. And...my feelings for you haven't changed. If anything, it probably grew after that dance back there" He laughed a little. I cracked a grin and looked at him. He was gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous under the full moon. His long hair falling to his shoulders. He was strong. Gentlemanly. Dashing and suave. But I wasn't for him. He wasn't for me.

"I know that you still care for Edward. But you don't know how much it meant to me, to hear you say you love me."

I stared at him. Any woman in her right mind would be melted to mush by his words. But I had my own love. My own Romeo who brought me to my knees. I missed him already. I could feel my body ache, just knowing I would never be able to kiss him again. Just then, Jacob began to move closer. He lovingly pushed the hair from my face. I stood frozen. Just like the last time he tried to kiss me. He never got the chance. But somehow, I knew he would now, as I could feel his extremely hot breath radiating onto my lips. Then they touched. His lips were so soft. The heat of them were different from Edward's. A lovely kiss. But not who I wished to receive it from. We kissed under the moon from a few moments. My insides exploding. It would have actually been much easier to fake this love if I knew I could never love him. But I could. I almost did. He was so kind. Gentle. Protecting. Like Edward in so many ways. If Edward never walked into my life, I would want no one but Jacob. But that wasn't the case. And still..I was afraid of falling in love with him. Of having feelings for anyone but my soulmate.

"I love you, Bella." Jacob breathed as he released my lips. My mouth was frozen. It took me a while to compose words. I didn't want to. But I had to.

"I love you too..." I said. "And I've missed you. I've missed you so much." I whispered. Jacob smiled a brilliant smile that could do nothing but calm me in the slightest. I backed up from my new fiancé and the bike and towards my house.

"Tomorrow." He said. I nodded.

"Tomorrow." I walked slowly down the path and up the steps of my house. Charlie was home so the door opened when I turned the knob. It wasn't until my front door was closed that I heard the engine of the motorcycle speed up and drive off. Once again, I was back in the warmth of my house.

"Hey, Bells." Charlie called from the living room. I shook my fingers. Fixed my hair. Prepared to look happy as I stepped into the cozy room with the television playing baseball on the television. I sat down on the couch beside him.

"How was your sleepover with Angela?" He asked.

"Good." I said in response. There wasn't much to talk about. I noticed that it was probably because Charlie wasn't talking about going fishing. He couldn't fish with Billy anymore. Part of me wanted to ask him why he didn't tell me. Why he was keeping it such a deep dark secret in his heart. But I didn't bring it up. I was doing the same. Keeping a secret. Living a lie. I sat in the couch staring at the television with Charlie for the longest time. It had been a while since we had done that. But the nostalgia of watching a baseball being hit was awful.

"Dad, could you change the channel? Please?"

"Oh, sure." He said. "Hey, is something wrong?" He asked.

_Everything..._

"No. Im fine. Thanks. Hey, y'know what? Nevermind. Watch your game. I'm gonna go read a few chapters before I go to bed."

"Okay. G'night."

"Goodnight." I said as I headed up the stairs. I stopped midway.

"Hey, Ch-...dad?"

"Yeah, Bells?"

"I love you." There was a small silence. I could imagine, in my mind's eye, my father looking rather baffled before the tv screen.

"I love you too." He said in a surprised voice. I smiled. I didn't tell Charlie that enough.

"Goodnight." I said once more before heading up the stairs. My breathing got quick as I imagined Edward sitting in my rocking chair in the corner of my room. Waiting. But I let go of the anticipation quickly, knowing it wouldn't happen. I walked to my bed and sat up on the soft mattress. Tonight wasn't one of my "sleepy nights". Even if it were, I wouldn't have been able to sleep.

..._Seconds...minutes...hours...days...weeks. Months. Three months of sitting in classrooms. Taking down notes. Glancing over at Jacob to smile. Handing in papers. Writing tests. And all the while I feel you. I feel your eyes going over me. The back of my head. My neck. My back. I can feel you stare. God, why did I have to sit in front of you? Because I was too afraid to sit behind you. Then I would be the one staring. But feeling you look at me is just as bad. Remember how we used to feel when the lights went out in these small classrooms? A charge. A fire. A need to reach out and touch you. It's just the same. Only, now I feel it all the time. And I fear it's obvious as I bite on my nails and clench my fists. The bell rings. Cafeteria. Pretending to eat. I watch you, Jasper and Alice. You've all moved back to your secluded area of the cafeteria. Why do you never look at me when I look at you? You used to. Let me see those golden eyes. Set me on fire one last time. I miss you, Edward. I miss you. People are staring at me again. I hate that feeling. They used to do it to us, remember? Now I walk down the hallways hand in hand with Jacob. I can't read minds like you do, love..but I know what they're thinking. _

"_Why isn't she with Edward? Who caused t he breakup? I would never leave him. No matter how pretty the new boy is. Why the hell is she so lucky?" _

_But I'm not lucky. I'm dying. I feel like I'm choking without you. I want to die. But I guess I made damn sure that wouldn't be happening anytime soon. It's even worse when you see us walking in the hallways. The way you glare. You try to hide it, but I can feel it. Then you ignore. You turn your head the other way and walk right past me...I'm just a ghost now. Hey, been a long while since you've held me hasn't it? Since you kissed me. Jacob's kisses have replaced yours. He kisses me all the time. On my lips. My neck. My shoulders. He holds me. He touches me. But don't worry. I don't let him go too far. I can't. Not yet. I only want you to touch me. Do you ever think about it? Touching me? Does it hurt you? Does it scorch you alive as it does me? Do you feel a hole too? Do you clutch at your chest to keep it from expanding and swallowing you alive? Edward...Edward..I can't do this...Save me. I made a mistake. You know I love you. I just can't say it._

"Hey, are you okay?" Jacob said. I tore my eyes from Edward once again and looked to my boyfriend.

"Yeah, I'm great." I smiled.

"You haven't touched your food." He said.

"Yeah, Bells. You feeling sick?" Jessica asked in a concerned voice.

"Yeah...I know. Just a little under the weather, I guess." I laughed.

"Heh. That's Forks for ya." Jacob laughed.

I grinned. It didn't surprise me at all how easily Jacob became a favorite at my table. The guys found him funny. The girls found him charming. He was more talkative than Edward was. Less godly. More reachable. It put them to more ease. It did, however surprise me how no one really asked for Jacob's friend Quill. Jacob and Embry made it a point to tell the school and it's students that he transferred back to the school at La Push. No one knew the truth. Which was good for Edward's sake. He was the one who killed him during the battle. It made my body squirm to think of it. He was buried a few months ago in the reservation cemetery. Through the whole ceremony, Jake kept a straight face. He didn't talk about his best friend being dead. He didn't talk about my ex who killed him. Everything from that night on was silence. I guessed it was because now that Jacob was a great leader, shedding tears and talking about your feelings wasn't an honorable thing to do. Which was sad. Because I cared about him very much. I wanted to put him to ease, however I could.

"Hey, there's that new girl." Jessica said. I grinned a little. Jess was a stickler for new people. They didn't come often.

"Have you talked to her yet?" Mike asked. Surprisingly, he didn't look very interested. He continued to munch on his salad and sip at his cherry coke.

"No. She isn't in my first or second period class." She mumbled.

"She looks nice." Angela said. "Pretty." She added. I turned around to see her. She was pretty. Very pretty. She had perfectly long black hair that reached past her back. Obviously dyed, but shiny and healthy looking all the same. She wore a pair of dark blue jeans that were tucked into tall black boots with a thick but tall heel at the bottom. She wore a nice black jacket with a few silver buttons in the front and three on the cuffs of her sleeves. Her lips were a pretty shape. Nothing out of the ordinary. Her eyes were big. Very pretty. I took a closer look and saw that they were a pretty hazel. Green with a few brown streaks in them. Her skin was pale. But not as pale as mine when I first came here. She stood in the cafeteria with her tray of food. Looking around. Seeming rather lost as she scoured the large room filled with students for somewhere to look. Then I saw her look to a table at the far corner of the room with three gorgeous-looking people sitting across from it. She stood there in awe and stared for a while. She looked nervous as she slowly walked towards the table and set down her tray. I felt my face get hot. My fingers were shaking so I folded them together and rested them in my lap under the table.

_No one is ever brave enough to just walk up to them. What is she trying to pull? Who is she? No. No. Who cares. Just some mortal girl. What does she matter?_

But that didn't stop my ears from prying and listening.

"Hey." She began. Her voice was clear. It reminded me of wind. She looked to be of someone who usually had outstanding confidence. But who's self worth wouldn't be a little demeaned while standing before those two beautiful creatures? I looked at those creatures as they looked up at her in bewilderment. Probably blown away by the fact that they were approached by a complete stranger.

"My name's Lydia Horst. I just transferred here. It's been kinda hectic. I haven't really gotten to meet anyone yet. Do you mind if I sit here?" I raised my eyebrows.

_No way..._

I saw Jasper stare at her with an expression that I knew. Immediately, the girl smiled in calmness and sat down across the table.

"Hi, Lydia." Alice smiled. "I'm Alice. This is my boyfriend Jasper Hale." She pointed to her beautiful blonde partner who smiled gently. "And that's my brother Edward Cullen."

"Hello, Lydia." Edward said. His voice was silk. Why was he talking like that? Did he always talk like that?

"Oh, Edward. Aren't you in my first period Trig class?" The girl asked. Trying to be casual. I hated it. She would know very well if he was or wasn't. Edward wasn't the kind of person you _sometimes_ noticed. If he was in your class, you knew. He was the first face you saw when you walked through the door.

"I am." Edward said gently. The three vampires continued to talk to Lydia. She came from New York. She was disappointed in the art courses that Forks provided. Or rather, didn't. She looked like the artsy type. Her nails were short. It looked as if she bit them like me. I didn't know how long I sat there with my friends, prying into the conversation a few feet away from me. My ears weren't very keen so I could only pick up bits and pieces at times.

"Hey, Edward, would you mind if I borrowed your notes from the beginning of the semester? I'm gonna have a hell of a hard time catching up all by myself." She smiled. Pretty smile. She probably had braces at one point or another.

"Sure." Edward said. He began to rise from the table

_Where is he going? Where are you going? _

"Uh, you don't have to get 'em now.." The new girl said. Edward just smiled suavely.

"It's not a problem. I'm done here anyways." Edward said as he picked up the tray still filled with food. And carried it over to a garbage can. He waited for the dark haired girl to catch up with him and do the same. After they discarded their leftovers, they left the cafeteria. Together. Together... I began to rise from the table. Not bothering to take my tray.

"Babe?" Jake said. "Are you sure you're alright? Do you want me to take you home?"

My face was blank. I shook my head frantically and moved from my seat outside the cafeteria. My breathing was quick. I was hyperventilating. Tears were welling up in my eyes. This was awful. Why was I so jealous? I walked down the hall. Unthinking. Then I heard the girls's voice.

"Thanks again. See you after school? I'm really looking forward to the tour of Forks" She said excitedly. I peeked around the corner secretively and continued to watch and listen. Holding my breath. Edward handed her a neat blue binder.

"There isn't really much to see." Edward laughed. Such a beautiful sound in such ugly context. "I'll meet you in the parking lot." The girl smile and began to walk away. In my direction. I sped off before either of them could see me. I ran from the building and outside into the rain. A nightmare.

_It doesn't mean anything. He's just being nice. She's new. It wouldn't be like him to say no when she asked for his notes. And it's not like they're going on a date after school. They just met. She probably just needs help with homework at the library. _

I knew leaving Edward would be hard. Harder than anything I'd ever done. But seeing him with another pretty girl was even worse. I couldn't help but think that Lydia would suddenly become to him what I once was. Something also told me that she probably wasn't the type to leave him for his father or a werewolf. The hole. It was opening again. And bleeding. And getting infected. It hurt more than anything. I clutched at my chest and walked through the rain. Making my way home in the cold.


	10. Hush

**Author's Note: **Wow...the amount of support and comments are overwhelming. **Thank you..To the max! I read them all and I appreciate it very, very much**. A lot of questions are flooding in. It makes me happy.** If I don't answer your question it probably means that you're catching on to my train of thought and pretty close to figuring things out. OR, I know for a fact that your question will be answered later down the road**. I promise, I am not ignoring you. To answer a few questions: **Does Jacob know that Bella is a vampire?** No. She is a special vampire. A Varacolaci. She has vampiric qualities, but she doesn't look like one. **Doesn't Jacob smell the difference? **No. Bella smells the same. It still tantalizes Edward, even. He just can't bite her again, and he knows it. So that's it. If you have more questions, don't be scared to ask. **I do not own Twilight and/or it's characters. Happy reading/writing, all. And much love.**

**10. HUSH**

A knock came at the door. I heard it from my room upstairs. It was too early for Charlie to be home so soon. I rose and looked out my front window discreetly. I saw a black bike parked outside and knew immediately who it was. I sighed loudly. I didn't want to do this. Not now. I couldn't pretend that everything was fine in front of my fiancé when I was stressing myself to illness over another man. I stepped down the stairs slowly and opened the door. I was face to face with an adorable Jacob holding a bouquet of daisies and a bag that smelled deliciously of some human food that I couldn't eat.

"Aww, Jake..thank you. Come in." I said. I took the flowers from him and planted a quick kiss on his lips.

"Are you feeling okay? You took off pretty quick at lunch. I got worried when you weren't in trig." He said, before holding up the bag. "I brought you soup." He added with a kind smile. I laughed, somewhat wholeheartedly. He took such good care of me. So why couldn't I get Edward off my mind? Why couldn't I stop imagining him with that girl?

"I'll eat it later. Thanks so much." We moved into the kitchen and sat across the table. I turned to look at the clock on the microwave. It was 3:16. School let out quite a while ago. Did Edward wait for Lydia? Were they together right now? Is she being dazzled as we speak? Slowly being sucked in...And Edward...is he letting it happen? Is he opening his heart again?

"...What do you think?..Bells?...Bella?"

"Huh?" I shook my head and looked at Jake who was obviously wanting my attention.

"See? You've been out of it all day. Maybe you should go upstairs and rest. We can talk about this later" He said. I eyed him carefully.

"Talk about what? I'm sorry. My thoughts were elsewhere. But I'm back now" Jacob looked at me for a few moments as I tried to smile at him convincingly.

"I was thinking..that maybe we should make our engagement more...noticed. You know? Official. We can hold a party for family and friends and tell them the good news. The sooner people know, the sooner we can have the wedding." Jacob said with a gleam in his eyes. My jaw dropped slightly.

"I- I'm not sure that's such a good idea." I said.

"Well, why not? We've been dating for a while. Three months of keeping it a secret is beginning to kill me" Jake said. He smiled. Such a beautiful smile. Lydia had a beautiful smile. Was Edward falling for it? I clenched my nails into my own leg and winced in pain as I thought about Edward taking her home in his car. Leaning really closely to her before she got out and breathing a seductive and sweet smelling breath onto her face when he said 'Goodnight'.

"I'm not- It's just too much right now. The new semester's just started...I'm working on college applications. The time's just not quite right for a wedding. We won't have time. And I just- I want everything to be perfect on our special day..." I smiled the best fake smile I could muster and took his hand from across the table.

"How about we make it official after graduation? We can do it all. The engagement party, the wedding, the reception...the works." I said. But somehow I felt as if I would die before then. Oh, I hoped. Setting me free of the promise I made to be wedded to this man who was once my best friend.

Jacob smiled at me kindly. He ran his fingers through the length of his raven hair and looked at me.

"Mmm..Why does that feel like such a long time from now?" He laughed

" A man finds it harder to wait when there's a beautiful woman constantly in his midst." He said.

I let out a deep breath. Did he just say that? Was it true? I rose from the kitchen table and went to stare out the window over the sink. Would Edward stop waiting for me now that Lydia was here? Yes. Now, I was just a memory. And Lydia Horst was Edward's newest reality. My perfect replacement and sweetest rebound. These thoughts were killing me. Weakening me to the core as I kept remembering. Her face. His face. Smiling at some secret unknown to me. The certainty that they were together right now. No less than one foot away from each other. The hole in my heart opened wide. Baring it's teeth and gnawing at the rest of my body. I raised my hand to my chest and held tight. I closed my eyes tightly and wished for the pain to go away. It didn't. My breath was becoming rapid again. And then I felt a hand from reality shake me.

"Bella? Bella! God..I'm getting really worried. I'm taking you to the doctor. You don't look so good." Jake said. I shook my head.

"I think I'm just ready for that nap now..." I said blankly. Jake nodded his head.

"That may be a good idea. I'll call later to check up on you." He said before turning to the door.

I grabbed his arm with quick reflexes and slowly turned him around. He looked at me with a look of wonder in his eyes. I stared at him. He stared back. He was dazed. Awed. I smiled and pulled him closer. I buried my face in his chest. His shoulder. I nuzzled my face in his neck and made a sound of contentment. When I moved away from him, he stood and continued to stare. I turned on tail and walked through the kitchen, to the living room and up the stairs to my room. I stood in the middle of the light blue room on the wooden floor and waited. In no time, Jacob was standing before me as if awaiting a command. I said nothing. I just stared at him. Willing him to do anything. Kiss me. Hit me. Anything physical. I just wanted to feel something. He kissed me. Gently. Pushing me backwards ever so gently. Coaxing me towards the bed. Once I was laid down and he was on top of me, he began to kiss me. My forehead. My eyelids the bridge of my nose. My cheeks. My lips. I hated it. He was making me feel loved. He was making me feel like I was worth something. I wasn't. I was nothing without him. My Edward.

And it went on for what seemed like forever. He lay on top of me. Touching me with nothing but his own lips. And his lips were wonderful. Full. Soft. Warm, as they moved down my chest. I jumped as the loud rip of my shirt sounded through my room. He discarded my blouse with his teeth and kissed my breasts tenderly. Since he had started kissing me, he hadn't touched me with his hands once. Amazing. It was kind of driving me crazy. It was pleasurable. I sighed. I clutched to him. I tried pretending he was Edward like I had with Carlisle, but I wasn't under a spell anymore. It couldn't be done. I tried to let myself go. His lips tongue ran down my skin in a way that made goosebumps rise on my body. Between my breasts, down my stomach. Lower. Lower. To the waist of my jeans. My eyes popped open at the realization of where his tongue could possibly be heading. My body shuddered. I moaned. Why was this man so amazing? Why was I doing this? How was I doing this? Was I letting go? Was I giving up on the hope of Edward and I reminiscing? It seemed so. And then I heard a door close downstairs. Jacob jumped. I gasped and pushed him off me quickly.

"Shit." Jacob breathed. He walked over to my window and began to slide it open.

"No." I breathed. "Get in my closet." I pushed him into the confined space and closed the door before jumping into bed and hiding myself under the covers. Just then, Charlie knocked.

I took a deep breath. Not good. I was hiding my half naked body under these sheets.

"Come in." I said in the weakest voice I could muster. Charlie opened the door and took a small step into my room.

"I just got a phone call home from school. Said you weren't there for the last half of the day." Charlie said. I sighed.

_No secrets in Forks...absolutely none. _

"I didn't feel well..." I said. "I just came home after lunch." Charlie observed my 'ill' body laying beneath the covers for a while before speaking.

"Bella..." Charlie began. "Will you be okay?" He asked. I blinked up at him.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I said blandly.

"Well...You're starting to remind me...of how it was when Edward le-"

"I'm fine, Dad" I cut in.

"Bella...you don't eat. And you seem so much more distant lately. It's worryin' me."

I looked to the sheets on my bed. I didn't eat anymore, because I couldn't. I thought I was doing a good job of covering that up. But the distance..that was definitely Edward's fault. I couldn't get him out of my head. It was horrible. I wanted him out. I wanted to put a power drill to my temple. But thanks to my invincibility, I'd probably ruin the power tool.

"I'm okay dad." I smiled nervously. I looked to the closet quickly. Jacob was still in there. Listening.

"I have Jacob now. I love him. He's...healthier for me." I said. Charlie looked at me with a sad smile.

"I've gotta say, I agree Bells. I like Jacob. He's a good boy. Responsible. I trust him with you."

"I know."

_But noone should trust me with him. I'm using him. I'm taking advantage of his feelings just so the man I really love can continue to live. _

I wanted Charlie to leave. That's it. No more talking. Charlie nodded in silence and began to turn away.

"You get some sleep. I'll make dinner tonight. Come down whenever you're ready." Charlie said. I nodded. Then the door closed.

"You can come out now.." I said without enthusiasm. Jacob stepped out of the closet quietly and moved to the bed. He seemed to know I didn't want to play anymore, because he just laid down beside me quietly and let me cuddle my body to his.

But when I woke, I woke with a gasp. Shaking. Sweating. Jacob touched me lightly on the shoulders and stroked my hair.

"Bella." He whispered. "It's okay...you just had a bad dream..."

"No...It was real. It was real. It'll happen..." I breathed.

"Shh..." Jacob soothed beside me. He lay me back down on my bed and kissed my forehead.

"Everything will be fine tomorrow.." He said.

_He hasn't looked at me at all today. I couldn't feel him. Why won't he look at me?_

Such as stupid question I asked while sitting in the cafeteria. Watching them with evil eyes. Alice and Jasper. Edward and Lydia. The three vampires pretended to eat. Edward took a small bite of a muffin and chewed quickly before faking a sip of apple juice. Lydia seemed to do most of the talking. The vampires just listened. Smiled. They seemed intrigued enough. A month of this. Four months apart. One month of the worst torture. Watching him with another girl. Watching them get closer. Each week, they sat closer. They talked more. Edward smiled more when she was around. All in all, I just mattered less. I forced myself to take a couple bites of a ham sandwich at lunch so that Jacob would stop threatening to take me to a doctor. My eyes kept flickering to the "Happy Couple Table". It just became second nature after so long. But I wouldn't listen. I refused to after hearing Edward accept Lydia's request to hang out for coffee two weeks ago. It was driving me crazy. They were seeing each other outside of school? I couldn't accept it. So I thought it would be best if I just didn't know about it.

"..I think it would be _so_ much fun!"

"I know! How about it, Bella?"

"Hmm?" I said, looking quickly back to my own lunch table.

"Prom dresses! This is our last year. We need to go out with a bang! If we start looking now, we can beat the rush and get a good price!" Jessica boasted. "Angela and I are going to Port Angeles next weekend to go look. You should come!"

"Umm..I don't know." I said. "Maybe." I said with a small smile. Jacob smiled at me and leaned close to my ear.

"You should go. You might be able to get a good deal on a wedding dress" He said with a small laugh in his voice. I grinned nervously at him. Thankful that no one else heard that. I rose quickly from my chair.

"I'm gonna go to my locker and head to class."

"Oh, see ya babe." Jacob said. Quickly he went into discussion with his friend Embry and Mike.

I looked to the vampire table and saw that no one was sitting there any longer. I sighed deeply and left the cafetorium as quickly as possible. I ran to the closest washroom that said "Girls" on it and strode inside. Empty. Thank goodness. I ran into a stall and locked it before hanging my head over the toilet bowl. It was a good ten minutes that I hacked and coughed up the food and drink before feeling empty. Wonderful. I was going to be late for class. I watched my hands and examined my plain face in the mirror before running to my locker and fetching my books. English. Good class. This teacher wouldn't mind if I was late. I ran down the emptying halls up to room 208. And when I got there, I wanted to run away. Far away. Down the hall, in front of the closed classroom door was Lydia and Edward. Lydia was beautiful. I hated it. She wore a black top with a large red belt around her waist, and a pair of dark jeans. Her dark hair was tied back in a pony tail and she wore the prettiest smile on her face. I couldn't see Edward's face, thank god. His back was turned to me. I watched with unadulterated hatred as she reached out a slender hand and caressed his face. Much like did to me once upon a time. His way of bidding goodbye.

_She didn't flinch from the cold of his skin...She's touched him before..She must have._

Her fingertips touched his cheekbones. His jaw. She pushed his auburn hair away from his eyes and then she moved close to him. Too close. Much too close. Edward quickly moved, but her lips still touched his cheek. She looked at him thoughtfully. Her confidence was unfaltered as she gave him the sweetest smile before saying something I couldn't hear, and then walking off. Edward stood there before the door. Unmoving. I felt a tight hand of vengeance tighten around my throat. The emptiness was very real. I couldn't breathe. Couldn't think. Tears welled in my eyes. I couldn't feel my body. I just wanted to scream. I wanted to run to him. I wanted to hit him and yell at him and kill him and kiss him. I hated him. How did this get so bad so fast? I was just about to turn around and run away, but then he turned around. He stared at me for a long time. I stared at him. I couldn't place the emotion that was on his face, but it was obvious that _I _was deeply hurt. I continued to walk to the door he stood in front of and opened the door. Bumping into him lightly in the process. Saying nothing, I made my way inside and to my seat beside Jacob. Edward followed soon after and took his seat behind me. And then I felt him look at me.

The rest of the day was hell. I made it a priority to avoid Edward at all costs. I didn't bother going to my locker when my classes were over. I bid Jacob goodbye, grabbed my books and ran out to my red truck with them. Once inside the red piece of tin I slammed my door shut and screamed at the top of my lungs. I beat carelessly at the steering wheel, causing the horn to honk a couple of times. Tears finally streamed down my face in a freefall. I was losing my mind. I was going absolutely crazy. Once the parking lot began to fill with students and I calmed down, I began to back out of the school. Making haste so that I wouldn't have to see Lydia or Edward upon my departure. When I reached home, I immediately ran to my room. I shut myself in for hours and screamed and cried and lay upon my bed wondering how the hell all this could have happened to me? Why did I have to protect this ring? Why did I have to constantly lose the one I loved? Why did he have to move on so quickly? Soon I couldn't cry anymore. I couldn't move. By the time night fell, I felt a burning in the back of my throat. And an urge in my stomach. I hadn't fed in three weeks. Starving I needed something. Deer. Rabbit. Anything. But everytime I thought about Edward, my appetite was lost. I rest my head down on my pillow and tried to sleep the hunger away...

_My dreams always lead me here, Edward. When I can manage to sleep, that is. At your doorstep. Awaiting your gaze. Your judgement. If I'm unworthy, you'll turn me away like a cat into the streets. If I am, you'll take me into your arms again and never let go. I walk into the house. It's unbearably cold. I can see my breath in the air. It's dark, but with the preternatural eyes you gave me, I look for you. I wander up the coiled and tall staircases of the wonderous house. Stair after stair. And the more steps I take, the closer your voice becomes. Before the door. An eerie blue glow from the moonlight in your room shines underneath the doorframe. _

"_Come to me...You're so beautiful..Come to me. Come back." Calling to me as longingly as ever. _

_I press my fingers to the door and find that my fingers nearly freeze. The door just wouldn't open. And I could swear it's made of ice. I bare the frigid cold and push my body against it to force the door open before stepping inside. And what a sight, I see. My stomach churns. My eyes. I wish I could pluck them from my head as I watch you. Your sofa replaced with a bed. And my body next to yours, replaced by hers. Writhing. Moaning. Touching. Kissing. Flesh upon flesh and cries mingling in the air. I'm not there. Just a ghost. Only you two exist as you take each other away into a world of euphoric rapture. _

My eyes shot open. I looked around my room. Dark. Quiet. My body was sweaty, and tangled messily in my bed sheets. My breathing fast. My head wild with confusion and thirst. My whole body shook as I pulled myself from my bed. I paced the room ravenously. Trying to grasp some clarity or consciousness in all this madness. But I knew that my dream hadn't taken me far from reality. I saw it with my own eyes today. Lydia tried to kiss him. And when she reached out to touch him, his chill didn't scare her. They had touched before. Perhaps in the same way that my nightmare portrayed. I ran my fingers through my hair and walked over to my mirror. I looked at my reflection. My skin was pasty white and clammy. My bottom lip trembled. My eyes were pitch black as opposed to the brown they usually were. Thirsty. Infuriated. Afraid. My eye color didn't shock me. I looked down at the ring that lingered on my finger. The ring I was bound to protect from any harm. The ring that held the fate of every living vampire. The same ring that made me leave my beloved. The reason why my life had gone hopelessly wrong. I slid the ring off the finger of my right hand and looked at it. Glimmering in the moonlight that shone through my window. A cruel, yet comforting conclusion came over me as I rested the ring on my table and picked up a heavy stone carving that sat at the corner. End it. Why the hell not? What was the point in all this? Of course, I would die with the rest of the vampires, but I didn't care. I held the heavy rock in my shaking hand and prepared to smash it over the cursed ring. But then I thought of the others. Emmet. Rosalie. Esme and Carlisle. Vampires whom I cared about and would never hurt me (or mean to). I rested the rock back where I retrieved it and stared at the article of jewelry critically before sliding it back onto the appropriate finger.

I stared at my reflection longer. I was horribly frightening. In the worst of shape. And the flashes of my dreams coming to my mind didn't make me any better. Lydia and Edward together in the most intimate ways. Touching. Kissing. Screaming together. It was too much. I took hold of the hair from my head and tugged at it. Causing pain. I screamed at my reflection and left my dresser. I made my way to my closet and ripped out all the clothing I had. Nothing was good enough. I had to find something perfect. It had to be perfect. I scoured my clothing until I found a black pair of pants. And a black tank top. I pulled these pieces of clothing on and then slid on one of Rosalie's black jackets that she made me borrow on the night of the war. I brushed my hair hard and rapidly, sparing myself no pain as I moved in haste. I looked in the mirror and saw the same rage in my eyes. I closed them and tried to calm myself, but when I opened them, they had not changed back to their original color. I growled in irritation and strode over to my window. I lifted the screen and pulled it upwards. And so it slid, without so much as a squeak. I lowered myself slightly and bent myself out of the square in my wall. Once out on the sill, I took a look downwards, closed my eyes and jumped. Gracefully, I fell to the ground. Landing on my feet. I exhaled and then smiled to myself in pleasure. Then I headed out into the night.

I didn't know where to go, exactly. Or even what I was looking to achieve as I ran down the wet streets of Forks. But I had a scent. And that's all I needed. The rain made it difficult, but I managed to pull the fragrance out of the air and track it down. It was faint. But As I got closer to the western road, it grew stronger. I laughed under my breath and ducked myself into a swarm of trees for a bit of concealment. I wove between the thick trunks and crooked branches in lightening speed. When I saw a deer hiding in the distance, my hunger slapped me in the face. I shook my head and ignored it. There was bigger sport to hunt tonight. It was a good five minutes before I had made it past the thick of the woods and out into a kind of clearing. I stepped onto a lush, green lawn, wet with rain. The back of a large and beautiful house. My body shook delightfully, and a smile of excitement swept across my face.

"How convenient hunting is, here in Forks..when there's a forest in everyone's backyard.." I laughed. I viewed the two back windows of the house. Dark. Draped with thin, white curtains that I could easily see through.

"Mmm..but which to choose?" I breathed. "Eenie, meenie, miney.."

Then I saw a light go on. My breathing increased in pace. My mouth watered. The back of my throat itched as I watched a silhouette move about the room. Removing clothing and putting some on. I watched carefully as she pulled her beautiful locks from the inside of her top. I watched her brush her hair, and look in the mirror before the light shut off. I smiled. I closed my eyes and counted to a thousand before walking through the lawn and closer to the house. I began to doubt myself suddenly. There wasn't much to grab onto on this house. But I had to get inside. I had to fix things. I reached my hand onto a red brick and pulled myself up. It wasn't hard at all. It was as if I defied gravity as I strode up the wall like a spider. Not making a sound. Biting my lip to quell my excitement. When I reached the dark window, I looked inside. A very large room. Her bed was to the far left. Her dresser, to the right. Closet, closed and near a corner. Her backpack, in the middle of the floor. Those were my surroundings. My battlefield and hunting grounds. I reached my hand up and touched the glass. Trying to figure out how it opened. I slid it horizontally, and the glass slid out of my way. There was a net screen after that. I simply pushed it in. It fell quietly on her carpeted floor. Stealthily, I stepped into her room. Yes. That was her smell. Oil paints and perfume.

The bed rest over to my left. And something rested in it. Rising with every inhale and falling with every exhale. Her breath was a siren calling to me. As I moved closer, I beheld her pale face. Her rouge lips. The look of dreaminess was on her eyelids. The small curl to her lips told me that she was dreaming about him. I snarled lightly and kneeled down before the bed. And I viewed her in silence as she turned and stretched in the bed. I tried to figure out what it was that Edward saw in her. We weren't similar in any way, shape or form. So what did he hear when he read her mind?

_Does it matter what he sees? Does it matter what he hears? He's going to sleep with her! He's going to turn her into a vampire, and they will be companions for eternity! She's going to take him away! What the hell does it matter?! Look at her. She's nothing . She doesn't deserve him. _

"You're nothing..." I breathed aloud. "Nothing!" I hissed in anger. Then the girl jumped from her sleep. She gasped and looked at me with a look of fear and horror in her eyes. It made me smile. Especially when she opened her mouth to scream. Immediately, I thrust my hand forward and took tight hold of the girl's throat.

"Lydia, darling. So glad you're up." A small growl built up in my throat. I squeezed on her throat a little tighter. Not too tight though. I kind of wanted this to last.

"Don't kill me, please! Wh-who are-" The girl tried to choke out. I gave her head a bit of a shake as I moved my hand to shut her up.

"Who am I?" I asked in surprise. "You don't know? How rude of Edward not to mention me. God, I was the love of his life! Well, not life..but that's just a bit too complicated to explain right now. And I wouldn't want you to be too confused when you die."

"Please..." She begged as tears streamed from her eyes. I looked at her unremorsefully. A wonderful feeling of power was upon me as I was about to take this girl's life. Then I wanted something. I wanted what other vampires had. I wanted to do to this girl what I once saw Marcus do to the pretty girl in the Volturi gardens. Her fear. Her smell. It all radiated off her body and filled the air with an aroma that was wonderful. I kept tight hold of her throat as she continued to beg for life.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll stay away from him. I won't talk to him ever again." She sobbed. I was beginning to wane. Her cries were starting to bring a lump to my throat. What the hell was I doing here? What was I doing to her? I was losing my mind. My breathing began to grow rapid. She kept begging. Begging. Begging.

"Shut up!" I snarled. Then her face went blank. Her body went lax. Her eyes held the same fear and intensity, but otherwise, she was completely silent.

"How odd..." I raised my hand and waved it in front of her face. She remained silent. I let go of her quietly and rested my arms by my side. The girl stared at me. Immobile. I began to slowly rock side to side. My eyes never leaving hers. Then, the girl began to mimic my motions. My eyes widened. I brought my hands to my lips and was even further surprised when I saw her do the same.

"Oh my god..." I shook my head. She did the same. She was hypnotized? I did this? Somehow the discovery of my powers didn't hold the same sway as the fact that I was going to drink Lydia's blood. Revenge was more important right now. I eyed her carefully for the longest time. No talking. No movement. This girl was the death of me. She was going to ruin my life. And I couldn't let her.

"Come here.." I whispered. Slowly, the girl bent down closer to me. I moved my face to her neck and breathed in her scent. My mouth watered. I grew absolutely high off of her impending death. My lips touched the soft flesh of her neck.

"Close your eyes...and feel no pain.." I said into her ear. I felt the girl relax in my arms. I moved her hair from out of my way and looked upon her creamy skin. I closed my eyes and then I closed my mouth over the small area of her neck.

"Bella!" Someone snarled. Suddenly, something pulled me away from my meal. I fell flat on my back on the girl's floor. Someone was on top of me. Pinning down my arms. I snapped my teeth and snarled at the person above me. Trying to fight back.

"Here to save your girlfriend?" I laughed.

"Bella, stop this. You're not yourself." Edward said. I growled and rolled myself over so our positions were switched and I was on top.

"I'm more of myself than I've ever been!" I said. I made sure that we argued in our fast and low voices so the mortals in nearby rooms couldn't hear us.

"My life gets turned upside down. I lose everything I care about and love. I have to protect the entire vampire race. I deserve to have a little fun. Starting with her. Now stay the out of my way!"

I barked at him. I immediately rose and ran to the bed for the girl. I pulled her close to me again, but once again, a pair of hard arms enclosed around my torso and pushed me aside. Edward looked at me with brilliant gold eyes.

"Who are you?" He growled. Then he began to stare deeper. His face softened. He began to step towards me slowly. I couldn't move. It was as if he hypnotized me. Soon, he was before me. His fingertips ready to touch my face.

"Your eyes..." he whispered. As soon as his flesh touched mine, I broke down. I wanted to die. I hyperventilated again.

"Don't touch me!" I yelled.

_Please touch me...touch me again. I've missed you so...Edward..._

I looked over to the dazed girl. Sitting on her bed. Not taking in or understanding anything that went on about her.

"Forget." I whispered in her direction. Then I ran to the window and jumped out. When I landed on her grass, it was raining. Pouring. It made me feel even more lost and disoriented. My feet quickly took me into the thick of the forest. I ran quickly. My lungs hurt. My heart broke. I was about to kill that girl. I was about to kill someone and Edward stopped me. Because he loved her. I sobbed and continued to run. Then I heard the breaking of twigs and the quick breathing of someone behind me. I sped up. I just wanted to be away. And then something crashed into me. It took tight hold of me.

"Let go!" I tried to fight him off. "Leave me alone. You're good at that!" I snarled. I pushed him away and began to walk away. The rain was actually making me feel cold. Or was it being around him? I hadn't spoken to him or touched him in four months. I could only watch. Watch as he brought himself and the artist girl closer.

"Leave you?" He questioned. "Bella, _you_ left _me_! With no word of warning! I begged like a child and you ran to that dog!" He yelled. The water from the sky beaded off his hair and down his long coat.

"I did it to save your life!" I yelled. I walked to him and I hit him with the flat of my hand against his chest. My motion obviously had no effect on him because his stance didn't change.

"I did it for you! What you're doing with her is just...disgusting. It hurts! It hurts! And I can't take it! And I want you back! But I can't! And I'm going crazy, Edward! Because I did what I had to! You didn't have to do this to me. I don't want you to be alone, Edward! But...please, not Lydia... not her...and not now! Not now, while I'm still in love with you!" I blinked the rain from my lashes and stared up into his eyes. He looked conflicted. His eyes darted to the direction that we had both just fled from. He wanted to go back to his girlfriend. He could go. Nothing could change what had been done over the past four months. We had said so much, and yet not enough. Anger had made the worst out of me, and now he saw. He saw tonight, the price I payed for being his.

"I-" Edward began. His voice made my body cry and sing. And breathe and suffocate. Why did his entire being bring me to my knees? Why was I constantly at his mercy? Why didn't he want me anymore?

"I don't love her..." Edward said. I stared at him. "I never loved her. We were never together..." He said. I made a face of anger.

"You're lying!"

"It's the truth!" He said. "I tried though. Oh, I tried...I wanted to feel something. But I couldn't. I couldn't kiss her. I couldn't touch her. She couldn't make me forget about you...but I tried..." He said with a defeated tone. Tears streamed down my face. Thank god for the rain. He couldn't tell I was crying. My voice remained strong.

"Then why did you come to her window tonight?" I asked. The nostalgia of how he used to come to my window came back to me. It made the hole in my heart expand again.

"Alice..she told me you were about to make a mistake."

"So you came to restrain me?"

"I came to get you back!" He yelled. More silence. The sound of rain pattering on the emerald leaves above us. I inhaled deeply. Those words were music to my ears. I wanted him back. For the longest time. But I couldn't leave. I couldn't just go. So I waited. Waited for him to pull me from the abyss that I had thrown myself into. But he never came until now. And now, it was too late.

"We've come too far. It's gone. We've been over for too long. Things have changed..and now you know who I am...This is me without you." I whispered. Edward wrapped his arms around me. Just like he used to and it was as if he never left. He raised my face to look at him and stroked my face.

"This isn't you..." Edward whispered. "And that wasn't me. Don't you understand, Bella? We're destined." He said. "We're made for each other. I was born to die a vampire...so I could wait for you. So I could love you. Bella... Neither of us are complete when we're apart." He said. I trembled before him. I reached forward to touch him. His cheeks. His nose. His lips. He hadn't changed a bit.

"Tell me you don't love me..." I whispered to him. I refused to open my eyes. If he told me he didn't after all that, I wouldn't be able to take it. I imagined in my mind's eye, Edward smiling down on me. He kissed the top of my head and held me tightly to him.

"I'm not letting you go.." He said.

Then with the utmost urgency, he lifted me in his arms and kissed me. I was dead, wasn't I? I had died and now heaven was holding me in it's arms. I rejoiced at the feeling of his lips on mine. His tongue in my mouth. Paradise. My body went still. My anger and all emotions besides love was hushed. Finally, after all this time...peace. My body was warm. I could feel the blood rush to my face as I heard him sigh in contentment. Then he put me down and gave me a look that I had never seen before. But I grew scared. I moved away from him quickly and gazed intensely at him. I looked in his eyes. He looked in mine.

"Kiss me." I ordered. Edward grinned his crooked grin. He moved closer to me.

_No...he doesn't want me. I'm making him do this. He's hypnotized. He doesn't want me. But I don't want to stop. I don't want him to stop._

I sighed sadly and sobbed. I tried to move away but my ex wouldn't let me. He just continued to smile.

"Alice said your strength doesn't work on vampires.." He whispered. "Nice try though." Then he took my face in his hands and kissed me with the same wild abandon.

His hands ran through my damp hair, down my face and neck and over my chest as he came to the first button on my jacket. With quick and nimble fingers, he unbuttoned and unzipped my jacket and threw it to the ground. His lips lowered and met my neck and shoulders. A chill ran through me. Not from the cold, but from feeling Edward's body so close to mine again. His smell. It drove me insane. I was getting weak. My body got even more limp as he pulled my tank top off and threw it aside in the same fashion. The rain pattered on my hard skin and cascaded down my body in seductive patterns. I sighed happily and pushed off Edward's coat and the shirt he wore underneath. I pressed myself to his perfect form. I kissed and caressed his smooth chest and delighted at the sound of him drawing in a deep breath. I fell into the lush grass. Edward fell in after me.


	11. Black Vegas

**Author's Note:** I am an awful, awful person. And I do not deserve your forgiveness. I've been so busy. So after so many angry messages, I'm finally updating!** Please forgive me! I've been suffering long term writers block**, plus, school and all this other crap. I suck! **THANK YOU so much for your patience and your continuous reviews. It means more than I can say. **To answer some questions:

**What color were Bella's eyes when Edward found her in the last chapter?: **They were black

**What did it mean when Edward looked at her differently?:** Well, Bella was acting so strange. It confused him. He wasn't sure who he was looking at when he found her. He knew it was Bella. But wondered where her personality went. The old Bella would never act so animalistic.

**Was Bella going crazy?:** Yes. Yes she was.

So this is it. The newest chapter. It may be sucky, as my writers block is still floating about. But I'm trying.** I do not own Twilight, nor the characters of said book. Stephenie, you rock! Thanks again! Happy reading/writing, and much love! **

**11. BLACK VEGAS**

My bare body shifted slightly on the wet grass and pulled itself closer to that of his. There was dew beaded on his pale chest. His eyes were closed, and droplets from the sky had made a home for themselves in his eyelashes and on his lids. He was godly. Perfect in every sense that could be thought of. I couldn't help but stare at him. Drink in his image with my eyes and just drown in it. Our bodies lay twined with each other under bits of our clothing discarded. Unfeeling to the cold. Just lost in one another. I looked up to the sky and tiny rays of sun filtering through the leaves above us. Creating for us our very own stained glass of emerald. Some of the light missed the leaves, and touched Edward's skin. His face dazzled, as did his shoulders and chest. I smiled. He reminded me of a song. He reminded me of everything wonderful. My perfect Romeo. My only love. I pulled myself closer to him and kissed him on his lips.

"Come, gentle night, come, loving, black-brow'd night, Give me my Romeo.." I whispered.

Edward's lips curled up into a smile. His eyes opened. Honey colored and wonderful. He kissed me. Butterfly kisses as I quoted our favorite Shakespeare play. I didn't want it to be daytime again. Not yet. Just a few more hours. A few more hours of passion and physical love that we had only shared once, a few moments before. It all ended too soon. It was the happiest night of my life. It was the most amazing thing that I would ever feel in my entire existence. He loved me. I loved him. Our love would last forever. The barriers were gone and it was beautiful. I laughed lightly as he pressed me to the grass and began to kiss me all over. Peppers of kisses. Kisses upon kisses. I wished they would never end.

"And, when he dies.. Take him and cut him out in little stars, And he will make the face of heaven so fine That all the world will be in love with night And pay no worship to the garish sun..." I continued. Edward pulled back slightly and gave me a strange look.

"Ah..that won't be happening." Edward said with a brilliant smile. Probably commenting on the dying and cutting up part. I laughed.

"Eh...it was worth a shot. It was romantic when Juliet said it." I cuddled to him as I heard his wholehearted laughter.

"Mm..what time is it?"

"Umm.." Edward listened to the thoughts of the closest person. That person must have been far away, because it took him a while.

"A little after ten. You slept like a baby." He smiled.

"Oh, no!" I shouted. I rose from the wet grass beside Edward, and began to pull on my clothing with haste. Edward looked at me. Confused.

"What's wrong? Where are you going?"

"Ah..I told Jacob that I'd meet him at the mall."

Edward's face automatically went cold. My heart sunk.

"After last night..." He trailed off. His jaw rigid. He avoided looking at me. "I thought you two would be over."

"N-no..." I frowned. "We still- I still have to.."

Edward grew even angrier. He pulled on his pants in a hurry and then stood before me as I slid on my tank top.

"You're still marrying Black? After all this..you're leaving me again? Is this all you want me for?" He fumed

"No!" I shouted. "No, Edward. I reached for him. I clung for dear life. "Last night was be best night of my life. I'd wanted you for so long..and now I have you. I really have you. And you have all of me. I'll never forget. I'd never trade it for anything. I love you so much...So much. And that's why I have to do this. Now you know why...For you..for your family. For us. We may not have even had last night together if I hadn't made that deal with Jacob."

"No.." Edward fumed. "I am not letting you go again! No! You're mine. You're my girlfriend.." He said. I lowered my head in shame and he raised my face with his fingers. "You're my wife...already. My soulmate. We don't need vows. I don't care what anyone says." He trailed off. "I-I won't make it another four months if you leave me..I can't take it. And neither can you."

I looked him over. I could feel his distress. He could feel mine. I stroked his face. I brought myself closer to him. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly.

"You love me?" I whispered.

"So much. Too much perhaps.." He said with a thoughtful voice. His eyes cast away into the woods. Trying to evade my loving stare.

"Then that's all we need." I said. "Our love for each other will always bring us back. I wouldn't dream of leaving you again." I whispered. I reached up and kissed him on the lips. For once, he was the one that didn't want the kiss to stop. He held onto me tightly. He ran his fingers through my hair and sighed at the feeling of our lips and tongues touching. He was making this harder. Slowly, I had to pull away. I picked up my jacket from the ground before slinging it on.

"I love you." I said. And then I ran off through the forest.

As soon as I slunk through my room window, I gathered a fresh change of clothing and ran to the shower. If I were to be with Jacob this morning, I couldn't have my lover's scent all over me. I gathered my clothing into my arms, and stepped beneath the torrent of water. When the water touched my body, the feeling of Edward's hands on my body came back. I shivered at the thought. I couldn't repress a small smile. He spared me nothing. Even as I shuddered. Even when I was reaching the peek, and the pleasure was so much, I wanted him to stop, he didn't. He pushed me over the edge and fell with me. I'd never forget his sounds. The way I made his body tremble. He never trembled. God, I could feel him. Kissing the back of my neck. One hand holding onto my waist so I couldn't move. The other hand trailing his fingers teasingly between my thighs. I moaned lightly. My voice sounded different over the pounding shower and the acoustics of the tub.

I heard an anxious humming noise from behind me, and when I turned around, I saw my fiancé there.

"Jacob!" I squealed. I nearly slipped in the tub, but he held onto me. I slapped his hands away.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself. Charlie isn't home. Ha. I already had my shower this morning, but when I heard the shower running, and knew you were in it, I couldn't resist."

I realized that this is the first time I'd ever seen Jacob completely naked. This was the first time he had seen me. He had a wonderful body. A sculpted stomach. A hard chest. Strong arms. A beautiful face. So unlike the young, shy boy I first met. He was a man. A very attractive man. And he wanted me. But he couldn't match Edward in the least.

"You should have resisted!" I yelled. I slid open the curtain, not bothering to turn off the water first. I had to get out. Jacob held onto me determinedly.

"Bella, you're going to be my wife. You need to stop hiding sooner or later." He whispered with a smile. He leaned forward to kiss me on the cheek.

"What's that smell?" He asked. My breath caught in my throat. Did he smell Edward on me? I looked around for a distraction.

"What smell?" I asked as I picked up a bottle of shampoo from the ledge of the tub. I quickly squeezed a blob of the pink colored liquid into my hand and lathered it through my hair. There was a small silence as I tried to play it cool. Washing my hair, hoping to mask the smell of vampire. Trying not to freak out because my _fiancé _was seeing me naked. Why was I not more embarrassed? Was it a vampire thing? Or was it because now that I had exposed myself to the man I was most shy in front of, it didn't matter?

"Here. Let me." Jake said before kissing my right shoulder. He lifted his hands to my hair and massaged the sweet smelling cleanser through it. It felt nice. I only wished it were Edward in here with me. When it was time to rinse, he turned me around to face him and pushed me directly under the shower head. He ran his fingers through my hair as the lather rinsed out. I closed my eyes. Bit my lip and waited for this to be over. I felt him looking at me. Taking in the look of my entire body. I felt helpless.

_Do it for him. You wouldn't be doing this otherwise. Just pretend it's him. Edward. You slept with Carlisle. That was worse. I won't sleep with Jake. I'll avoid it as long as it takes. My body belongs to Edward. Play the part of a fiancé for him. To save his life.._

He repeated the process of washing, rinsing and then doing the process over again. He put some shampoo back in my hair, lathered and rinsed before putting in my conditioner for me. When that was done, I rinsed my hair once more, but left a trace of the sweet smelling soap to keep my hair soft.

"You're so beautiful." He whispered. I was tired of hearing that from people whom I didn't love. I only wanted to hear those words from Edward.

"So are you." I answered honestly. But it still wasn't the same. I leaned forward to kiss him before turning off the water and towel drying myself as quickly as I could so I could re-dress. Jake did the same. When I was finished, I left him in my room to finish getting ready. As I strode down the long stretch of wooden stairs to my living room, I paced the place. What had I gotten myself into? Jacob was right. How much longer could I hide my body from him. He had seen all there was to see now, and touched. But fortunately he didn't steal whatever was left of me to be given to Edward. I would have hated to do such a thing with him in the shower, only hours after I'd experienced something similar with my Edward. I couldn't stop thinking about it. It made me smile. It made butterflies surge around in my stomach. I could still see him. Hear him in my head. It was wonderful. I shivered with delight. Then I felt warm arms enclose around me from behind.

"You ready, Bells?"

I nodded and smiled a fake smile.

"Let's go."

I clung to Jacob as we zoomed over the roads and across streets to get to the mall in Port Angeles. His sweet smelling hair tickled my face as it blew in the wind. I didn't like that he drove without a helmet sometimes. I didn't love him. Not like I loved Edward. But I still worried about him. I would hate for a wonderful man like him to get hurt. It was a good half hour before we reached our destination. A department store called Vanessa's Fashions.

"Jake...I thought you said we're going to the mall." I questioned, gazing at the place. My fiancé stared at me and then cut a sly smile.

"No. I said we're going shopping." He dismounted the bike and lifted the helmet from my head. I got off of the bike and walked with him to the sidewalk we parked before. So confused. I watched carefully as he put some quarters into the parking meter and then take my hand without another word. He opened the glass door for me, and a bell rang as we stepped in. At once, my vision took in the myriad of beautiful white gowns. My mouth dropped. Suddenly, two girls ran from behind some tall racks.

"Jessica? Angela? Wh-"

"Oh my god, Bella! This is so exciting! You're going to be so beautiful!" Angela squealed Then Jessica struck me across the arm. It didn't hurt, but my human reaction skills told me to grab the part of my arm that she hit.

"I can't believe you didn't tell us you were getting married!" She yelled. I grew infuriated. My face got red. I turned on a dime and stared at Jacob.

"You told them?" I hissed. Jacob frowned slightly.

"Someone had to help you find your perfect dress." I was furious. I could have slapped him. How could he? I told him to keep it private!

"We were going to wait until graduation!" I spat at him.

"I know. But this place gets so booked. I had to RSVP. It's better to get the dress now than later. I'm sorry. I didn't think you would be so upset. They're the only ones who know.."

"So you weren't going to tell us?" Angela whispered meekly. I turned to see her. She was such a sweet friend.

"No. No I was going to. Just...at the right time.." I smiled faintly. Trying to hide my anger before turning back to the werewolf leader.

"The right time, eh?" Jessica fumed. "Well, Jacob is right! You would never have gotten a fall dress here on time if you didn't book soon! You as a woman should know these things! Now let's get going! Jake, get lost. It's bad luck." I shook my head. Unbelievable. Now was such a bad time. My husband-to-be smiled and reached into his back pocket to pull out a black leather wallet. He fished out a plastic card and handed it to Jessica.

"You know Bella. Make sure she gets whatever she wants." He smiled. I didn't like the way he talked about me like I wasn't even there. I didn't want to spend his money. I didn't want a wedding dress. I didn't want a wedding. I wanted Edward. This was even more of a mistake than I could have ever comprehended. My friends made more high-pitched noises and sauntered back off to the dress racks. Jake pulled me into his arms and smiled down at me. Such a loving man. And yet I couldn't love him back.

"How could you?" I asked him. "I'm not ready for this...We aren't-"

"I'm sorry. I just wanted everything to be perfect for you. For us. You would never have gotten a dress on time. I had to surprise you." He whispered. I was baffled. I softened slightly. He had such good intentions. It made me feel horrible. I cheated on him last night. And I wanted to again.

"Ah, this must be Isabella Swan." A woman with white-blonde hair pinned up in the back, and a black ensemble walked from a back room. She was very classy. And she smelled good. I didn't want to put up with this right now. I needed to hunt. She added to the gravity of how expensive this place must have been.

"Bella." I corrected. She reached out to shake my hand. I returned the gesture.

"Your fiancé was very excited to surprise you today. I've put some things away for you especially. I think you may like them, according to how Mr. Black has described you. Clean and simple yes?" I looked up to him. He did know what I liked. Sometimes I felt like he knew me inside out. But yet he couldn't see how much I needed my ex boyfriend. My soulmate. My raison d'etre The raven haired wonder twirled his keychain around his middle finger and flashed a beautiful smile before slipping on his dark aviators over his eyes.

"I've got my own errands to run right now. So I'm gonna take off. Thanks Vanessa. And good luck with this one." He grinned and hinted towards me. "She hates to be pampered. She'd probably go to the wedding in jeans if she could." I couldn't help but smirk a little. I really would. Maybe I should just run away before the ceremony. Like that Julia Roberts movie. What was it? Oh...Runaway Bride. Never did like that movie much. But the concept seemed like a golden one right about now. Jake leaned down to my head and kissed the top of it before unslinking his arm from my waist and walking suavely out the door. The bell rang again. I sighed.

"Mrs Swan." The woman started. Somehow I didn't get a very nice vibe from her. She seemed artificial. In it for the money. Her smile wasn't very kind all the time and her eyes were cold. She looked to be the type who just wanted you to buy the most expensive thing on the rack and then leave. She didn't bother to ask what I was looking for. She just deleved into detail.

"Alright, well we have a wide variety of dresses. All white, except for the bride's maid's gowns. This isn't exactly the kind of store for alternative wear. There will be no red wedding dresses here." She scoffed pompously. "Alright. Styles. We have low cut, v-necks, sleeveless, backless, skinny straps, thick straps, long sleeved. Now, as you're going for a fall wedding in Forks, I would suggest the long. That would look lovely on you. And a v-neck too. You have such lovely skin. Alright then, materials. We have encrusted, plain, creams, off-white, Victorian, contemporary-" The list went on. My face grew hot. I grew annoyed. Why didn't she just strip me and dress me herself if she was going to cram so many of her own ideas into my head? I snarled slightly in her direction. I couldn't help it. I regretted it slightly as she jumped and shouted lightly with a start. I stared into her.

"Why don't you go find something else to do? My friends and I can do our own thing. Okay?" I hissed. The woman obeyed my command. Her face went blank and she turned on tail, walking back to the room she came out of previously. I felt awful, but it was nice having her off my back. After making love to Edward, I had completely forgotten I even had powers. I thought of how I used them on Lydia in my moment of insanity. And now. How I had snapped at that woman. I made it a point never to use my abilities again, unless I had to.

My friends and I looked around the store for two hours. Most of that time, I sat down on a chair and watched the two go crazy. Rejecting every gorgeous gown they held up. A couple of times, they held up a dress that I actually found to be perfect. Something I would wear to my wedding with Edward. It brought tears to my eyes that I had to pretend I didn't like them. I just didn't want any of these dresses. Not for Jacob. I wanted this with him. With Edward. And I would never be able to. The two girlfriends looked at me sadly. I sat emotionless.

"Maybe we should just come in again in the summer. They might have more things coming in. And the fall stuff will be cheaper." Jessica said with a disappointed frown.

"Yeah." Was all Angela said.

"I'm sorry you guys. I appreciate you guys doing this with me. I just- This is a bit strange for me. Jake kind of surprised me with it."

"He's such a sweet guy!" Angela interluded with a smile. "He's going to make you so happy." She grinned. I smiled back sadly.

_Want him? You can have him._

"You didn't find anything?" He asked as we dined in my kitchen. I flung a fry into my mouth for good measure and tried to sip back some of my coke that I had iced until it was flat. There. No more. I hated having to cough the stuff up. I shook my head in response to Jake's question.

"No." I replied. "Me and the girls decided to just wait until summer comes along." He nodded silently and continued to eat the meal of fish and chips that I made for us.

"You aren't still mad at me for telling them, are you?"

"No." I lied.

"Good." He smiled sweetly. "Thinking on it now, it may not have been the greatest idea. But you understand..I just want yo make you happy. Every girl dreams about their perfect wedding. I want you to have it. Anything you want. No matter what the price. I'll make it come true."

I nodded. His heart was in the right place. But he had no idea. I had never really thought about my wedding before. Not until I met Edward. And even then, I didn't dream about walking down the isle with him as much as I dreamed about being turned by him and living in the house with he and his family. That was my happily ever after. And no money in the world could get that dream back.

"And that's why...I went to the mall today. Because I woke up a couple of mornings ago and realized..." He began to rise from his chair and saunter over to mine. "that no engagement is truly official" He dug his hands into his pants pocket and pulled out a velvet box. The nostalgia of all this made me shake. This wasn't the first time a man got down on one knee for me. My eyes welled with tears of sorrow. He opened the box, and the rock inside caught my eye. A beautiful diamond sat prominently. Staring at me. It was pear shaped. A good size. But it made my mind go back to the time that Edward proposed. How beautiful the ring was. More beautiful than this one. Though it was gorgeous. Perhaps it was because Edward gave it to me why there was such a difference. The last time I saw the ring the vampire put on my finger, was in his drawer as I was packing my things to leave him and come to be with Jake. What a mistake.

"until the beautiful woman is wearing one of these on her ring finger."

_No. This is no mistake. You're doing this so there will be no war. To save his and his family's life. Put away your greed. You had one beautiful night with Edward last night. Now it's time to let go. _

"Will you marry me, Bella Swan?" He asked with a beautiful smile. Tears dropped from my eyes. And they weren't happy. The only thing in the world that was worse than consenting to marry someone you don't love, is to consent to it twice. I answered before I could let too much pain sink in.

"Yes." I said with as much emotion as I could fake and muster. He smiled sweetly and slid the ring onto my finger. Perfect fit. He leaned forward and kissed me on the lips. As his gentle fingers began to wipe away my tears, Charlie clamored in through the door.

"Oh, Christ...Did I not stay out long enough?" He asked. I looked at him questioningly.

"No, you're fine." Jacob said with a smile. My father began to laugh. Not bothering to kick off his shoes or take off his belt. He strode over to me with a huge smile and locked me into a tight embrace. Getting water from his coat all over me.

"My baby girl. Getting married." My eyes widened.

"You knew about this?" I asked.

"Ol' Jacob asked for permission. Chivalrous and respectable man, he is. How could I refuse?" He laughed. He leg go of me and hugged Jake. There was no point in getting more angry than I already was. It was bound to happen sooner or later. It was my fault for agreeing to marry him. I mustered a smile for the thousandth time today and went over to the stove to plate some extra food for Charlie. Once the three of us were sitting across the dinner table, I could do nothing but pick around the food as my father and my fiancé planned my wedding without me. Of course Charlie would say yes to Jacob marrying me. He had always liked him. And he would give me away to just about anyone who wasn't named Edward Cullen.

"I only wish your father were here to see you and Bells get married."

"Thank you sir. Me too."

When Charlie finished eating, he excused himself and made his way to the living room. Catching the ending of a football game. I rose from the table silently and gathered Jacob's dish. I carried our dishes to the sink and I dumped my full plate in the garbage before setting it inside the silver tub.

"I can't believe we're getting married." Jake said as he walked over to me. He slid his arms around my torso and kissed the back of my neck. I squirmed a little.

"It feels so much more real now that your dad knows."

"Yeah." I said. "Baby, I'm kinda tired. Can we call it a night? I think it's bedtime."

"Mmm..want me to stay the night? Tuck you in?" He grinned a tried to grin back.

"Nah..I'm wiped. Long day. Plus school tomorrow. I need sleep."

"No problem." He said with a smile. I walked him to the door and opened it for him. He turned to give me a kiss. I returned it.

"Good night, fiancé." He grinned.

"G'night." I answered with a smile. And then he was off. His body glowing under the moon. I sighed exasperatedly and closed the door. Slowly I dragged myself through the livingroom. Then Charlie rose from the couch and hugged me tightly.

"I'm so happy for you. Jacob is a good man. I trust him with you. He shed a couple of tears. I could smell them. It made me even more sad. He was actually happy for me. Well...someone had to be, to compensate for my sadness. I still couldn't believe this was happening to me.

"Thanks." I sighed.

"We'll celebrate this later."

"Great." I said. I pulled myself from his arms and wandered up the stairs. Once upstairs and in my room, I didn't stay there long. I freshened myself up, put on some fresh clothing and jumped out my window gracefully. It was a good run, but I made it to the Cullen manor in good time. I was stealth as I climbed into the kitchen window. No one ever went in the kitchen unless I was there. When I slid to the linoleum floors, I swiftly made my way to the foyer and up the large staircases, up to the highest floor. Stepping lightly. Hoping not to bump into one of my lover's brothers or sisters. I wished I could sneak into his room, but the whole side of his room was window. It wouldn't have been so effective.

When I got to his room, there was 70's punk music playing. He was looking through his humongous collection of 8 tracks, records, cassettes, and cd's. The music boomed from his stereo. I slowly opened the door and then closed it silently behind me. I leaned against the wood of it and stared at him hungrily. The back of his head. His back. His arms. Head to toe. It took all my strength not to run to him and tear him all to pieces right then and there. Why did he have to be so gorgeous? His head moved to the beat of the music. Part of me hoped he would do something silly like start playing air guitar. But he was always so mysterious. Even when he was alone. Or thought he was. I shifted slightly in anticipation, and then he inhaled deeply. His back went rigid. I stopped breathing. Bit down hard on my bottom lip. He turned around and looked at me. Into me. I shivered. It got even worse as he moved soundlessly to me.

"I thought you left me again." He said. His breath touched my skin, making me yearn.

"I came back." I whispered. His fingers reached to my face. His thumb brushed against my bottom lip.

"Just for the time being..." He whispered. The anguish in his voice made me turn away. But he didn't let me go far. He held me there. Against the door. Killing me with his stare. His fingers slid down my arms and twined with my fingers. His seductive glare changed slightly as he raised my left hand and examined the ring on my finger. His eyebrows furrowed and he distanced himself from me a little. But he didn't take his eye off the diamond gem.

"Nice rock. Expensive. A bit big for just an engagement ring. What'd you two do? Run off to Vegas?" He asked with a hard stare. I drew in a deep breath and wished that his anger would go away.

"Your engagement ring was bigger..." I rebuttaled. He smiled a little sourly.

"He asked Charlie's permission?"

"...Yes"

"And he said yes."

Silence.

"Figures as much..." He whispered before turning away from me. My heart sank.

"This doesn't make me love him anymore." I said to him. He heard my voice perfectly over the music.

"Your lack of love doesn't make you any less engaged." He said.

His eyes were hard with thought. I turned away. The blood rushed to my face. A couple of tiny tears escaped my eyes. I wiped them away quickly. This was a bad idea. I walked to the door and opened it. Then I felt a firm hand grab me close and push the door shut. He lifted my face to look at him. I could barely do it. Did he have any idea how much my heart was breaking? Yes. His was too. I could see it. I could feel it in the way he touched me. As if he didn't know when he would be able to again.

"I-I don't want to do th-this..." I hiccuped. "I'll only wish he were you." I gulped.

"You're not doing it." He said. He actually sounded confident. I closed my eyes and pretended those words were true. He knew that's what I was trying to do.

"You're not." He repeated. "I'll steal you away." He whispered. "I'll scoop you up from the church. Wedding dress and all. The dog will have no idea."

"Edward..." I started. He interrupted me.

"And I'll keep you for myself. We'll live on a deserted island. And we'll lay in the sand in the day. And swim on the ocean at night. Just you and me. The world will be our garden. I'll do it all for you." He whispered and stared at me. Taking my face into his hands.

"Because that's what love is. Don't marry a man you don't love. Who doesn't love you as much as I do."

"If only it were that simple." I said. I pulled myself from him unwillingly and strode over to the window. I watched the hazy moon. Hanging lowly in the sky as if it were weeping for us.

"Love is never simple." He said. "Especially for us it seems. But it appears that my heart isn't enough anymore, so tell me what else I can give. Tell me what to do and I'll do it, I swear. No distance will stop us. I'll give you anything. Diamonds, pearls, a castle, unseen worlds named after you. You'll have it."

I shook my head. Had he gone mad? Heh. What a question I ask. Nearly 24 hours ago, I nearly took a girl's life for looking at Edward too much. It seems like we were both going a little crazy without each other.

"You know that's not what I want." I sobbed.

"Then what can I do, Bella?" He yelled. "What can I do to make you take that ring off your finger and see that you're mine? I don't need you to save my life. I just need you in it. So tell me! What do you want?" He fumed. I stared at him.

"I want you to put your hands on me again..." I whispered. He stood there. Rigid. Unresponsive. I thought then that he would turn me away. Refuse to be with me unless I came back for good. But I couldn't. And he knew that. I closed my eyes and shook my head. The confusion was disorienting. And then I felt him enclose me in his arms again. He whispered into my hair.

"So I can't have _you_, but I can have your body?" He asked. Disdain rang in his voice.

"Don't you want it?" I pressured. More tears. There was silence. And then a humming. And then a growl in his chest. He raised my hand and lifted off my shirt quick as lightening before throwing it aside. He lifted me gracefully into his arms. I twined my legs around his waist and allowed him to carry me to his black sofa. I tore off his shirt in haste, not sparing the buttons on his blouse. I gripped my nails into the dark leather and bit down on my lips as his lips peppered over me. Making me sigh and writhe. Our flesh caressing. His deep breathing in my ear. Heaven.

_I didn't deserve all of you anyway..._


	12. Carousels and Dead Horses

**Author's Note:** God..I took SUCH a long time to reply. **AGAIN! I'm SO sorry. **I wouldn't be surprised if people have lost interest. **So much has been going on. **It's May now...One more month until exams start and school is over. And teachers usually take this time to cram work on their students. So...that's my excuse. Sorry it's such a lame one! I've missed you! Haha. Anyways..this chapter was really backbreaking to write. It took so long to get back into it, and if you read carefully, you'll be able to pinpoint where my boredom ended and where I really started to get into it. Sorry again for the long wait! Erm..question time! Some, I cannot answer but I will do my best. **Why did you name the last chapter "Black Vegas"? **Well, you know how when people go to Vegas, they've drunk too much and can sometimes be tempted to be wild and get married just for the hell of it? This is how Bella felt. Very rushed into this marriage she didn't want. And it also coincides with Edward's quote when talking about Bella's engagement ring, and thinking it was the actual wedding ring _"What'd you two do, run off to Vegas?" _

**Jake is so bold now..why?** Haha..because he's a pack leader now! A king of werewolves... **Does Jake know Bella is a vampire?** No, people...no. Heh..that's a hella long note for you. You guys must be pissed at me, so I won't say too much more, besides **THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH! **I'm so happy that the few people who like this story continue to read it, even when I'm a snobby writer who doesn't reply for like, a month. I don't think you guys understand how much it means- to have dedicated readers- to people who work so hard when they write. It really means a lot. **Happy reading/writing and much love!**

**12. CAROUSELS AND DEAD HORSES**

Cold and warm at the same time. I felt so lucky now, that I was a Varacolaci. That I could sleep and dream. That I could wake up like this. With my eyelids gently fluttering open and feeling his cold lips kissing my forehead. My arm rested limply on his bare waist and he sighed ever so gently as my lips nuzzled against his neck to breathe him in and give him light kisses. His cold fingertips circled on my shoulder. When I pulled back and looked at him, he was even more beautiful than when he first lay down with me.

"Hey." I breathed as I stretched lightly and rubbed the sleep from my eyes.

"Hey..." He smiled back at me. Moving my hair before my face. There was a little bit of silence that passed over us, and I took the time to think. About us. How much I'd loved him. How much we had overcome. Even when we left each other, we couldn't stay away. Though it was obvious that his willpower was stronger than mine. I was an engaged woman. And here I lay. On Edward's bedroom floor. With blankets and pillows sprawled around our immortal bodies. Edward looked pensive as he stared at me. His lips began to move.

"It's approaching ten." He whispered. His smile quickly fading. "If you wanted to head home, we should probably get moving now. Come on. I'll drive-" He began to stand. I held him. Pulled him back down to our sad excuse of a bed.

"-I'm not leaving." I said, giving him the deepest look of affection. "Not unless you want me to." His stern look remained. And then I heard a playful growl in his chest that made me smile.

"Never." He hissed. He rolled on top of me. I held to his wonderful body of marble and sighed happily.

"How do you feel?" he said. I stared up at him. Getting full view of his ocher eyes.

"Happy. Calm. Blissful. Madly in love..." I grinned. He smiled sweetly.

"Hungry?" How did he know?

"Huh?"

"Your eyes just got a little darker. You should hunt." I closed my eyes and lightly exhaled.

I loved this man. Only he would notice when my eyes got a semi-tone darker. Did Jacob notice these things? No. I highly doubted this. He loved me. I knew that much. But he seemed to notice the smaller things about me when Edward was gone. The way I hated to listen to music, because every song reminded me of the wonderful vampire that lay on me gently. The way I would clutch to my chest and couldn't breathe when he was gone. Now that he was the wolf leader, and he thought I was his, I guess he didn't really have time to see these things.

"You worry about me too much.." I yawned. He moved off of me, then and lay on his back. His hands went behind his head and he stared pensively at the ceiling.

"What are you thinking?" I whispered with a grin. It wasn't often that _I _was able to ask _him _these questions. Edward's eyes furrowed slightly.

"I was thinking about two nights ago.." He breathed

I frowned slightly as the recollection of that night came flooding back. A pleased look was vacant from his face, so I could only guess that he was not thinking about how we had been together for the first time in the rainy forest. I was hoping we would put the 'Lydia incident' behind us. How foolish of me. It would only be a matter of time before he had no choice but to bring up the fact that I nearly killed a girl. And if she hadn't held true to her promise to leave him alone, I would have probably gone back for her.

"That night.. I know we haven't really talked about it. But...I was in really bad shape, Edward. I don't even know what I was thinking. I didn't mean-"

"I know, love." He said. "But your eyes. They were different. And what you did- I mean - the way you controlled her like that-"

"Edward, you know how awful I feel about it. I can't say I like the girl much, but I _am_ sor-"

"Those are your special abilities, Bella. Don't be sorry for it. You just need to learn how to harness and use them."

"Use them?" I squealed. " No. Oh, no. I'm done. It's...weird Wrong. Awful. I don't like it."

Edward nodded in understanding. His thoughts, obviously continuing to take him away.

"I think we should find out more about them, still. Just in case. After all..you are a very-" He thought of an appropriate word. I gave him the evil eye.

"...Peculiar vampire...and our fates do rest in your hands." He mused. He lifted my hand delicately in his and kissed my fingers. Shivers ran through me. He looked at the blue jeweled ring on my finger, and then to me for approval. I nodded in response as best I could.

"Come on. Let's get you fed." He said, rising slowly. I frowned. I'd much rather lay here with him all day. Who needed blood? I hadn't fed in nearly three weeks, but really - who needed it?

We dressed with haste. Zipping up pants and buttoning up shirts. As we stepped out of his room and closed the door behind us, I combed through my hair with my fingers. My lover shut his eyes tightly and shook his head in distaste. His jaw line was pronounced. He looked tense.

"What's wrong?" I said quietly. He didn't answer. All he did was take my hand in his and lead me down the stairs. We got to the foyer, but passed the front door. I looked at him questioningly as he led me through the hallway and into the family living room. When we arrived, the whole Cullen family sat, or stood disbursed around the room. Their golden eyes turning to us almost in unison with mixed looks of contentment and confusion.

"I guess there was no point in trying to avoid this conversation. We have some questions to ask anyway. You in particular, Carlisle." Edward said seriously. That didn't change the look of glee in their eyes. Even Rosalie looked rather pleased.

"Edward...Bella." Esme started. "When did- Oh, this is marvelous. Welcome back, Bella, darling.." Edward's mother figure smiled. She rose and embraced me gently. I frowned a little.

"Please..guys. Nothing-" I had difficulty continuing. "Nothing has changed. I'm still engaged to Jacob." I said. It hurt so much to remember. Last night, and the night before, I was Edward's. His. And he was mine. I had tried so hard not to remember that I was still Jake's fiancé. But reality was unescapable. And my insides burned as I forced myself to release my soulmate's hand so that his family would understand. Emmet shook his head.

"Wh- But that makes no sense. You two-" He trailed off. The family looked to Alice slowly. The dark pixy looked at her fingers folded neatly in her lap. A quiet shame sweeping over. Obviously, in her excitement. She had only seen - and told the family- half the story about Edward and I.

"You..."

_Slept together? Twice..Yes. I stayed the night? That's right too. But that still doesn't change things. Oh, I wish it would change things. I don't want to be with Jake. I love your brother and son so much. I only want him._

Edward and I both stuck our hands in our pockets. Our fingers feeling so naked while not entwined with the other's. The family had gone somber with understanding. Thank goodness. It would be so difficult to have to explain. They understood perfectly well. I was cheating on my husband-to- be. With Edward. The air in the house got awkward for a while, before I saw through the corner of my eye, Jasper working his magic. Carlisle, who sat in a leather reading chair, exhaled and looked up at us.

"What did you want to ask?" He questioned.

"Bella?" Edward said. My cue to speak. I looked over the family I could have sworn I had destroyed. Here we were. Standing with each other as if all that damage had never happened. It made my heart swell.

"My abilities. They're...here..kinda." I said. Everyone except Alice and Jasper looked surprised. Carlisle leaned forward in his chair.

"Really?..." He said. "Well, that's excellent. What are they?" I looked to Edward for strength. He nodded once in encouragement. What was I to say? I played with my fingers. Cracking my knuckles a little.

"I can hypnotize people.." I said quietly. Avoiding eye contact. No one said a word. When I looked up after what seemed like forever, the family still stared at me.

"Interesting.." Carlisle said after a while.

"To say the least!" Emmet jumped up, breaking the tension. "Way to go, Bells! For a klutz, you have some power in you yet!" My muscular, brother-like friend took a hold of me and gave me a bear hug before messing up my hair.

"I will give you fifty bucks if you make Jasper and Edward streak naked down First Beach." He laughed. I elbowed him in the side. My face felt extremely hot as I thought of Edward naked. His chest. His back. His body...

"When did you discover these powers, Bella?" He asked. That question, I could not answer very well. Alice cleared her throat, unnecessarily.

"L-long story..." I said quickly. "I've only done it twice. The last time it happened I was at a store...looking for wedding dresses." I could almost see my auburn-haired prince go tense behind me. My face scorched. I continued.

"The woman who owned the store. She was talking about all these different dresses and what I should and should not wear. And I felt strange. Angry. And I yelled at her. I told her to leave me alone. And she got this really scared, yet blank look in her eyes. If that makes any sense. Then she turned and left..Without another word. Like a puppet." I concluded. I could tell by the way they sat in silence, that Edward's family wanted to hear what happened the first time. I felt so ashamed.

"I'm sure that Alice and Edward can tell you what happened the first time a little later. But for now, I just want to find out how _not_ to use these abilities." I said.

"Why can she do this?" Edward cut in quietly. "There must be some reasoning to all of this." Carlisle rubbed his fingers over his perfect bottom lip in thought and then stood up. He sauntered before me and stood, tall.

"Try it now.." He said. All eyes were on me. Oh, the pressure.

"A-Alice said that I don't affect vampires." I mumbled.

"Well, as demonstrated earlier, Alice can miss things in her visions from time to time. Go on. Try to control me. Don't make me do anything too embarrassing now." He laughed.

I took a deep breath. Stared at him. Concentrated hard, though I had never had to concentrate when I had taken over Lydia or the woman at the dress store.

"Hop on one leg." I ordered. I took a deep breath. Waited. Nothing happened.

"Bark like a dog?" Nothing.

"See? I- I told you, it probably doesn't work on vampires. Just like Alice said."

"He's not scared." Edward said suddenly. I turned and looked to him with confused eyes.

"Think about the common factor, here. Fear. The first time-" Edward trailed off to spare me embarrassment and shame again. "And the woman. You said you yelled. Carlisle is expecting it. Needless to say, scaring a vampire wouldn't be too easy to accomplish." Jasper sauntered towards us now, with a nod.

"Yeah. Your powers could probably work on a vampire. But you'd have to spook them first...somehow." He said with a smirk. Yes. I knew the comedy of someone like myself having any fearsome effect on any self-respecting vampire. It wasn't likely.

"We can test that theory later. What I want to know is _how_ she can do this." Edward interluded again. "We all have reasons for being the way we are." He said, indicating himself,

Alice, Jasper and I. Yes. They did have their reasons. Jasper had always been quite sensitive to the feelings of those around him. And it can be assumed that after he joined the army during the Civil War, he learned to manipulate those feelings as well. And Edward...He had a knack for people. Getting inside, and stripping away all the facades. He was a people reader by nature. He couldn't even read my mind, and still he could see right through me. After all, he still knew that I loved him. Even when I left him in his room four months ago. He knew that I needed him. Pined and adored him from afar. Alice..she was a mystery. Locked up in an asylum for so long and oblivious to everything before her change. Why was she the way that she was? Would I be such a secret?

"Why can she control people like this?" Edward asked, pulling me from my thoughts. I nodded. I wanted to know. Needed to know. This was, after all, what the Volturi saw and wanted for me. I wanted to know how and why.

Carlisle stared to his son for a moment. I could tell there wasn't an unheard conversation taking place. Just a lot of thought passing through each of them. Edward's father figure looked like he was at a loss.

"Bella has always had that power to some extent.." Alice said quietly from her seat. "A sense of control. Even in the smallest sense. I mean, look at Edward. He has the strongest willpower of anyone, besides Carlisle. And her blood could tempt him to the point where he had to go all the way to Alaska to escape her. And Victoria, James and Laurent. All three of them wanted her head. When one failed, it angered the other two to the point of extreme vengeance. You have a hold over them. That's why they want her dead."

A shiver ran through me. Alice spoke the truth in a way. But I didn't want to hear it. Victoria hadn't run through my head in such a long time. Recently, the pain in my heart had an overbearing of the fear that I should have had for the fiery-haired vampire who wanted me. And she would still want me if she saw me again. I looked so human. But I was Varacolaci. And my abilities shone now. If I could manage to strike enough fear into her heart, I could send her running into the streets of Volterra, baring her body to the light, I could have her dead by nightfall.

"Not to mention...the incident five months ago..." Rosalie whispered. Everyone knew what she meant. How I had slept with Carlisle. Nearly ruined my life with Edward. But look at us now. Still apart in a sense. Our love couldn't seem to hold us together.

"Rose..." Esme said with a tinge of discomfort in her voice. "Not now."

"I'm sorry Esme, but it's true. But it is Jasper and Alice's fault" The beautiful blonde looked to me. I wished she wouldn't say such things, but it did make me feel a little better that she finally realized that Carlisle and I were not at fault.

"The trauma of being conned into being with Carlisle has probably affected her so much, that this's happened.. It's like the ultimate revenge. Now she can control people all she wants.." Rosalie said with a sort of envious tone. I lowered my head and forced the hot tears back.

_No more tears, Bella. No more tears. It's over..It still haunts you, but it's over.._

"Rose." Emmet said gently. Trying to make her quiet.

"No...She's probably right. What else could it be?" Alice said, defeated.

"There was no need to bring it up now.." Jasper snarled.

In mere moments, the living-room was a disarray of bitterness and small arguments. I could take no more. I felt like my insides were splitting. I had left Edward. Left them. And still, I tore them apart. I looked between the unhappy people. Then to Edward standing silently, watching them all with a look of anger in his face. I sighed. I knew everything I needed to know now. There was no need to say. I rose from the couch and left the room as quickly as my legs could muster and ran out the door. The wind was strong and blew my hair about me. I began to run. Slowly at first. Then faster. Until I couldn't see. Until I ran into something. Edward took a tight hold of me, and forced me to look up into his eyes.

"Where are you going?"

"Home. I can't take this anymore.." I breathed. "Everything I am- Everything I do comes down to this mistake I made with Carlisle. And I know it hurts you..but I didn't mean it. And yet it seems to be the only thing I can accomplish. Hurting you." I whispered. The realness of my words stung. I had always thought it..but never once said it. I hurt him. I betrayed him. I lied to him. I left him. And still...he loved me. How? Why? What did I do in my past life to deserve such an angel of love and mercy? God, I adored him. And yet I couldn't have him. Marcus warned me this would happen. And it did. " I have to go. I'll call you or something."

"Bella." Edward said. His voice was silky despite what his family was arguing about moments earlier. "Stay with me. Just for today." He said.

"It's a perfect.." He trailed off. Looked at the sky. "Cloudy day." I couldn't help but laugh. He could always make me smile. His fingers slid down my jawline and he pulled me gently towards him.

"I know you're busy with the wedding. But who knows if we'll ever get a chance together like this again?"

I looked up at him with crushed eyes. I knew it was true. But it hurt to hear.

"Don't say that.." I pleaded. "If you don't say it aloud, it's not true.." I whispered into his chest. He rubbed my back soothingly before pulling himself away and looking at me.

"Come on." He took my hand. Led me into the thick of a forest, where we played hide and seek with the deer before tackling them to the ground and burring our lips in their shiny coats to quell our hunger. Edward kissed a bit of blood that lingered on my lips away. When we were full, we left the green canopies behind. And then we walked. Up and down streets. Winding and turning. Without a care as to the direction. Talking. Laughing. Just like we used to. I loved this. Loved him. We spent the whole day wandering. Like a pair of kids learning the meaning of love all over again. I tried not to love him. I tried not to stare at him too hard when we spent the whole day together. But I would always feel him look at me. And I felt the love that accompanied his stare. I couldn't hide. The sky was growing dark. His favorite time of day. When the clouds were dusted with dark blue. A scent caught my nose. And then the sounds of childish music and infantile laughter. It was so nostalgic.

"Do you hear music?"

"Yes.." He responded. What a silly question to ask of him. "..Why?"

"Come on!" I yelled. I took his hand and dragged him behind me for a few moments. It didn't take him long to catch up. We crossed the street and turned into the large parking lot of a bingo hall that no one ever visited. There, was a fair set up. A ferris wheel, tipsy cup rides, bumper cars. The works.

"A carnival...are we still in Forks?" I asked Edward. He laughed and took my hand. We walked to the entrance and bought two tickets. This was incredible. I couldn't remember the last time I had been to a carnival. I walked down the busy lanes and looked between game booths and food stands. Something was tickling my memory.

"I think I remember.." I whispered. "Charlie..taking me here when I was younger. During my visits. But..I'm not sure.." I said. I must have made no sense. Edward frowned, but I had the feeling he understood me. He always understood me.

_I love you, I love you, I love you...please don't let me leave you. Steal me away. Wedding dress and all. Just like you promised._

"Human memories never last. Especially ones from so long ago. You're lucky to remember so much." He said. I looked over him. Taking in the golden shade of his iris'

"Probably comes with the territory of being a Varacolaci.." I muttered.

I loved and hated what I was. How was I supposed to live with immortality without Edward? Would I wait until Jacob passed and come back to him? Would Edward wait for me? Or would another mistake like Lydia come along again? I don't think I would react well to another one like her. How long would it take before Jacob noticed that while he aged slowly and became silver and gray, I remained the same? What would he do when he found out? He _would_ find out. My wonderful vampire prince must have noticed me fading. Drifting away with thoughts. He squeezed my hand gently in his. He didn't want me to think. He wanted me to live and breathe and smile before I was tied down and pulled away from him forever. I needed it.

His porcelain skin glowed under the bright carnival lights and I wanted to touch him. To fight the temptation, I looked away. To the thriller rides. Smiled at the sound of playful and frightened screaming as a roller coaster zoomed by. I couldn't help that as we wandered the grounds, that people seemed to come in twos. Couples. Pairs. People who loved each other. It was like a feeding-ground of bliss. Lovers fingers entwined. Lips locked. Eyes fluttered shut. Girls laughing flirtatiously, and men boasting their chivalry and romance, by buying his girl a bag of cotton candy to share. Edward saw this too. Hear them as well, I was sure. For he stuck his hands into his pockets and looked to his feet as he walked.

_I want it too, love. What they have. But our isn't an easy one. We can't.._

I linked my arm with his and we walked this way. We spotted jugglers. Contortionists. The night was alive with laughter.

"Oh..let's go here.." Edward grinned slyly. He led me to a booth where a small pyramid of milk bottles stood. Baseballs offered. Break the bottles. Win a stuffed prize. I gave him a hard look, but couldn't help but smile.

"Could you _be_ any more of a cheater?" I laughed. Those bottles didn't stand a chance if Edward was throwing the baseball. He grinned evilly and stepped up to the front.

"Two dollars for one ball. Three dollars for five. Come on up young lad. Win a nice toy for your little lady." The mirthful looking man behind the counter said. He pushed the basket of baseballs towards my ex. Edward played the part of a man who didn't look overly-confident. He stepped up to the line drawn for him and gave the man three dollars. He picked up one ball. Threw it up into the air. Waited a while and threw. It missed? I could tell that he was acting. Making an effort to fail. It impressed me the lengths he went to, to humanize himself. To hide himself from the outside world.

_But you didn't always hide from me..You revealed yourself to me, and that was one of the happiest I've ever been. You thought I was special. You gave yourself to me. Vowed your love in our place. Our meadow. And now..I've thrown it away forever. What did I ever do to deserve this?_

Another throw, and this time he didn't miss. A red light flashed and a small ring sounded.

"A winner! Remarkable! Pick your prize!" Edward laughed lightly and then turned to me.

"Well?" He asked. I grinned at him. I could hardly stop the rush of blood from turning my face brilliantly red.

"The goldfish?" I said. I eyed the big bright goldfish that sat on a ledge. It looked soft. It had big blue eyes and a smile on it. The man pulled the stuffed animal down and handed it to Edward, who then gave it to me.

"This is one goldfish you won't be able to overfeed. But knowing you...I'll never be sure. I'm sure you'll find a way.." He said. I scoffed and playfully nudged him. Taking my new animal from him.

"Thank you." I said. Though not amused by his last statement. He threw his head back and laughed. Walking away from the booth. After a few moments of walking, Edward took the animal from me, as the thing was nearly one third my size. He stuck it under his arm easily and held my hand with his free one. And then I stopped.

"Let's go on that." I pointed. Then I suddenly wished I hadn't. Edward gave me a questioning look.

"_You _want to go on _that?_" He asked. His beautiful eyes blinking in humanly gesture. A shiver ran down my spine as a coaster car zoomed by us. Sending the sound of multiple screams into my ears. Really...a bad idea on my part to request the ride.

"Yeah.." I said. Sounding braver than I actually was. "Why not? I've dealt with the Volturi, Victoria, and Charlie's cooking. Let's go for it."

"I can't remember the last time I went on one of those."

"You can run just as fast as it.." I mumbled.

"Faster. And don't you forget it.." Edward grinned. Ego. I let him have it this once.

"Come on then!" He yelled. Taking my hand in his once more, he led me to the lineup. We waited. And waited. Once it was our turn, Edward set the large goldfish on the inside of the fence near the ride technician to watch, so it would be there upon our arrival back on solid ground. We took our seats side by side in the little cars and buckled up. I felt so restrained. I gulped lightly and took in a deep breath of air. Then I felt Edward's cold hands slither into mine.

"For goodness sake, Bella. You've been through worse, and you're afraid of this? It was your idea." He said.

"I'm fine.." I jested. He only laughed. Started pulling his hand away. I didn't let him. Then the car began to move. Slowly advancing up a steep hill. My anxiety grew. What the hell was I thinking? Why did these rides still freak me out, even when I was already dead? I could hear the pounding hearts of other people on the ride, and that made me all the more nervous. Edward didn't let go of my hand. I wouldn't let him. When we reached the top, I could see the whole carnival taking place. So many lights. And even the houses and roads beyond. We hung there on the precipice until we began to drop. Fast. Not as fast as I could run, but quite close. The fear of something going wrong on the ride, or falling out scared me the most. I yelled and shut my eyes. Edward to my side laughed loudly and howled in emphasis. Nice to know _he _was enjoying this. I must have gone upside down three times before the ride was done. When we zoomed down the runway of the coaster, my hair was frazzled. Edward laughed and exhaled. It was interesting to see that he got a rush from the ride. And to my surprise, so did I.

"Lets do that again.." He requested. I laughed, but didn't concur. I didn't like it _that_ much. When we were let out of the chambers, I flung myself out. My feet praising the solid ground. But I couldn't stop laughing. It was odd. Edward came to my side. Took my hand. I took both his hands in mine and spun around quickly. Unable to control my laughter. I felt so free and refreshed. All was forgotten. Jacob, the war, the happenings that tore Edward and I apart in the first place. I felt free. And I didn't want it to stop. I began to feel dizzy before Edward and I stopped spinning. I looked up into his face and everything was clear, and bright, and beautiful. He smiled down at me. Brushing the mess of my hair away from my face. I reached my fingers to his cheeks and slid it down his face. So soft. Perfect. Mine. All of him. I would have it no other way.

"Run away with me.." I said. My gaze penetrating him. He stared at me. Not answering.

"Tonight. Right now. Anywhere...I'll follow you anywhere." I begged. "Edward...I can't marry him. I love you. Run with me..Now...please. Before I change my mind and decide to do the right thing.." I pleaded. Edward looked conflicted. His brows furrowed. I could have sworn I saw him tremble before he pulled me into his arms and kissed me hard on the lips. I smiled. He wasted no time. He took my hand in his and left the area of the fast ride. We wove quickly through the maze of people and games. Making our way back to serious civilization. Then he paused. Sniffed the air. A growl built in his throat.

"Edward, what's-"

"Shh.." He said. I stayed quiet. Listening to the loud voices of people and the high-strung music. Then he pushed me. People began to scream and run in random directions as a large, bear-like animal came out of the sky and landed on Edward. I knew by the color of him, exactly who and what it was.

"Edward!" I cried. The animal snapped it's long, thick teeth at Edward's neck. Trying to cut him. The powerful vampire took hold of his rusty brown fur and tried to push him away.

"Jacob!" I yelled. Tears already welling in my eyes from the anger and fear. "Stop! Stop it!" But he didn't.

"Bella, run!" Edward yelled. My body shook.

"I'm not leaving!" I yelled. I ran over to Jacob, who was wearing his fur. I tried to pull him away. He only growled loudly, and pushed me to the side. This had to stop. Someone could get hurt. And though my concern rested mostly on Edward, part of me was very fearsome that someone would think that he was a wild animal, and came with a gun.

"Bella, go!" Edward said. He pushed his way to standing and then struck a hard blow to Jake's muzzle. The large animal stumbled back.

"Now!" He screamed. People were running all over the place. Fearing for their lives. I pushed people out of the way, randomly. Trying to find a safe destination. My feet led me outside to a parking lot. It was filling with people who were trying to get out of the carnival grounds alive. I looked around for a car. Any car. A bright red one caught my eye. I walked to the drivers side, and elbowed the glass with as much strength as I could muster, so I could unlock the door and get in. Once that was accomplished, I sat in the car. Knowing what needed to be done, but also being much to scared to do it.

_For Edward. You'd never leave him like that. _

I bent over and reached down to the gas and break pedal. Pulled back the carpet with the strength in my hands until I saw four wires. My fingers were trembling. I heard more growling. Crashing. Screaming. I had to hurry.

"B-blue...for the breaks.." I said. Remembering Jacob's sharing of hotwire knowledge with me. "Yell-Yellow...is for ga-" I stripped the wires of their protective rubber until I reached the copper. I rubbed the two yellow cords together to create a spark.

"Come on..." I pleaded. "Come on...please...start..." I began to cry. This wasn't going to work. I rubbed the wires quicker. And then I heard it start. I nearly yelled with surprise and glee. I sat up in the seat and began to pull out of the parking space and headed into the direction that everyone was running from. I broke through the fence that held the previously entertaining attractions and drove through the myriad of booths. Narrowly missing fleeing humans. Until they were in sight. No one was winning. No one was losing. Both of them would die. I pressed the breaks and watched.

"Get out of the way.." I growled. Hoping Edward would hear me with his sensitive ears. He refused. It wasn't like him to step out of the fight. I looked to them. Both men, I loved. Only one that I wanted to spend forever with. I had to do this. I stepped on the gas. Building speed. Driving faster and faster until the red vehicle I drove collided with something. Someone. I Screeched to a stop. My breathing fast. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw Jake laying on the pavement. Barely moving. I began to sob. I killed him. I killed him. Edward, covered in scratches backed away from the animal and came to the car door.

"Bella..." He breathed.

"Get in..." I sobbed. Yet such authority rang in my voice. He finally obeyed.

"What have I done?" I cried...My trembling hands still on the wheel. Edward tried to calm me.

"Bella. You did what you had to.."

"No...no...no no no no no!" I screamed. "It didn't have to be this way. I killed him! Look at him. You saw! Look..he's dea-" I looked in my rearview mirror again to behold my best friend's dead body. And it wasn't there.

"Bella..." Edward breathed. My breathing increased. "Drive. Now!" I put my foot on the gas again. And just as I did, the animal came to Edward's closed window. His hot breath making condensation on the window. Baring his sharp teeth. He rammed himself into the side of the car before I started to speed off. Lights of the park flickered by in a blur before I broke through another set of fence wire and into a dusty road. I screeched to a stop. Trying to catch my bearings. But before I could stop myself from choking on air, I heard the pads of Jacob's paws pounding on the ground. Quickly catching up to us. I straightened out the car and pressed hard on the gas.

"What the hell is happening?!" I yelled, once we were on the highway.

"Keep driving, Bella.." Edward breathed. I looked over to him. Maintaining speed.

"You're hurt.." I said.

"I'll be fine. Keep driving. Avoid stopping if you can." He winced and held onto a wound that spliced across his ribcage.

"He's following us. He's angry. Not thinking straight.."

I inhaled deeply before asking a question I knew I wouldn't particularly like the answer to.

"What is he thinking, exactly?" I asked. Edward kept his face straight ahead on the road. His body tensed. Was it from pain, or from not wanting to answer me.

"He wants to kill us." Edward said. "_Both _of us..." He concluded. I stayed silent. Keeping my foot firmly pressed against the right pedal. Silence swept over, but calmness did not.

"We'll be fine...We'll be fine. We'll keep driving, and he'll get tired..We'll lose him by dawn, and we'll be out of Forks an-"

"Bella...we drive until we're out of gas.." He looked at the meter above the steering wheel. "Which won't be much longer.." He winced. Bit his lip and held to the gash.

"And then you take off running, do you hear me?" It took a while, but the gash on Edward's chest healed. When it did, he exhaled. Blessing the feeling of relief that finally came.

"He's not giving up this time..I'm finishing this..You need to get yourself out." He said determinedly. I didn't answer. "Understand?" He yelled.

"No!" I yelled. He knew that I wouldn't agree, so why bother asking? "I'm with you, no matter what, and that's that! I'm not leaving! Now stop arguing with me. We'll be fine.." I pressed harder to the gas pedal and sped up. Edward sealed his lips and leaned back into the seat. He swallowed hard. I looked to the gas meter. A quarter of a tank. Would we really make it?

There was nothing but the sound of the wheels beneath the car scratching the surface of the ground and taking us far from Forks. Then I felt Edward tense beside me.

"Are you okay?" I asked. My eyes quickly darted from my ex, to the road.

"Bella.." He whispered. His voice wavering. "Step on it." He said. I obeyed. A loud crash sounded on the roof of the car, and the metal sunk in, leaving a large dent. I nearly lost control of the car. I kept it steady as possible considering my fiancé was on top, trying to punch his fist through the roof. Soon the pounding stopped. I heard the patter of feet move over us. Then there was quiet for a few moments. Edward's breathing increased. He growled. Warding the wolf in his animalistic sound. A deep howl was heard, and then the back window broke in. Sending glass flying into the car. The glass didn't hurt me as it hit my skin. But my concentration was broken, and the car began to swerve.

"Bella, watch out!" Edward yelled. He tried to harness the wheel as best he could from the passenger's seat. But there wasn't enough time. The tires left the road and we were thrown into a deep forest. The car hit the trunk of a thick tree. Edward and I were both thrown so quickly, even I couldn't have saved myself with my new grace. My head hit something hard. The world spun. Everything was dark. I could still see, but Edward wasn't in my range of sight.

"Edward.." I called weakly. The smell of exhaust from the battered car filled my nose and burned my eyes. "Edward..." I felt something wet trickle down my forehead. Sticky and thick. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself from the fear of not hearing Edward's response. And then a sharp snarl sounded, and I felt hot air on my face. Jacob in his pelt was before me. Snapping his teeth. Getting unbearably close. I tried to slink away, but found my strength depleted. He crawled over me. Pressing his front two paws on my shoulders. Pressing me down into the damp ground of the woods. He sniffed at my face, and his tongue licked at his lips.

This is how I would go? To the hand of my friend who I was too scared to kill. What a turn of events. It seemed fitting enough. Someone had to kill someone they loved. He was the one brave enough to do it. Then the large animal lifted his head and howled to the sky. The sound sent chills down my spine. I heard Edward's sharp yells of agony resound through the air, and I gave up everything.

_I love you, Edward...I love you.._

My eyes darted about me. And from all four corners of a compass, mighty, furred animals advanced from the trees. Yellow and green eyes glowing. All directed towards me.


	13. The Blood That Binds

**Author's Note:** Just like so many other of my closing chapters, this was so much fun, but so hard to write! Sorry it took so long. I'd like to say thank you to everyone who read or reviewed, or both. It means SO much to me. I appreciate you all so much. Thank you.

To answer some questions: **What was trickling down Bella's head when the car crashed last chapter?: **It was blood and venom. Yeah, I know...my vampires can bleed. Wow..I guess that's it, actually. Everything else should be answered soon-ish. THANK YOU SO MUCH! I loved writing this story so much. You guys made it _so _worthwhile.

I do not own Twilight, nor it's characters. All this is for Stephenie, because she's beautiful, and awesome..and...wow. I can't thank you guys enough! Happy reading/writing and much much love!

**THE BLOOD THAT BINDS**

There was nothing. Nothing but the feel of a strong body beneath me and fur on my cheek. I was moving. Pain shot through my temples as I tried to open my eyes. I looked about me. It was dark. But all around, were members of Jacob's pack. All in their wolf skins. Walking at a calm pace.

"Edward?..." I breathed.

My fingers held on to the russet fur below me. Jake was carrying me. To where, and for what reason, I did not know. But I was too weak to fight. My eyes sauntered over the werewolves once more. None of them carried my love. Through the thick black trees, I saw a small light in the distance. And another. And another. The old smell of kerosene. Torches were leading our way. I heard a snapping of twigs and voices up ahead. As we approached these lights, I saw stony hills. Amidst the hills, were two slabs of stone that came together to an angled point. The mouth of a large cave. Waiting to swallow me whole. What would they do? Bolt me up inside with no blood for eternity? Cut me to pieces and douse me with that kerosene? Set me aflame, all for being in love with Edward? Jacob barked to the cave and lowered his animal body to the ground.

Sam Uley, tall and mighty, emerged from the rocks in his human skin. A smile on his face. Five other men I didn't recognize followed him.

"Jacob!" He greeted the beast. Two of the five men who followed ran to us, and pulled me by my arms from Jacob's back. When I was on my feet, I angrily pushed them away . They grew angry and tried to get ahold of me once more. I snarled, punched. Kicked. Anything to defend myself.

"Leave her be." Sam said. "She's ours now.."

I looked to Jacob, who was slowly taking human form. The prickly hair on his chest, back and arms, retreating back into his pores.

"She's mine.." He corrected. His silky dark skin was over him again. His body completely bare. Long dark hair flowing down his back. A man with rather light colored hair held out a dark pair of jeans for him, which he swiftly slid on. The slave-like werewolf also held up a black jacket. Jacob allowed him to help him into it. Foregoing the zipper, he began to walk to me in all his powerful beauty. A fire of rage burnt in his eyes but his lips displayed the most terrible grin. He remained there, before me silently. Grazing over my form. Then he grabbed me hard by the arms. I tried to pry myself free, but he was too strong. His lips made contact with mine. Rough and demanding. I couldn't believe this was the same Jacob that I met on the rocks in First Beach nearly two years ago. He released me in a careless manner.

"Till death do us part, baby." He said. His face serious. I stared daggers into him.

"Where Is Edward?" I demanded. Wiping my lips as if his that kissed me were poisoned. A few of the men from Jake's pack laughed in hushed voices. Jacob grinned. His pretty, white teeth haunting me.

"In hell, where he belongs." My soul broke. I began to sink to my knees.

"Get her in." Sam Uley said in a serious voice. Pack members began to circle around me.

"Stop!" Jacob said. At once, the men refrained from touching me. Jacob's lips were hard lines, and he looked to Sam with piercing eyes.

"I make the orders..." He said defiantly. Sam looked shocked. His face reddened. From anger, or embarrassment? Soon, the discomfort faded from him, and a surely smile was splayed across his face.

"Jacob...I know that. But there is something inside I wanted to see. A surprise of sorts." My ex-fiancé eyed him carefully before laughing heartily and patting his friend on the back. Forgetting I was there. Suffering. Worrying sick about Edward.

"Be careful with her.." Jake said after a long while. The werewolves in their human skin began to grab at me and urge me into the mouth of the cave. I fought as much as I could. Knowing that somehow, the surprise that awaited us inside would not be in my favor.

_I'll see you soon, Edward. One way or another...I'll see you soon..._

My feet dragged along the ground. Dirt and dead leaves scattered the bottom of the cave, as well as rocks that were kicked about by our feet. Torches lid the way all through the tunnel I was being passed through, and we seemed to walk forever and take many turns before I was pushed into a large opening. The large base of the cave was circular and mighty. Torches lit the circumference of the place, but all that seemed to go past my recognition, as I was thrown to the ground at someone's feet. A strong tinge of fear and instinct triggered in my head and I crawled away quickly. Shaking. Frightened. I couldn't see their face..but I knew. And it was horrifying. Jacob sauntered in a few minutes after. And when he saw who it was, even he began to tense up. His shoulder blades began to shift, his canine teeth began to elongate. Bravely, he began to saunter forwards. Sam held him back.

"Don't...she's on our side." My jaw dropped and my eyes shifted around my atmosphere in fear and confusion as I took in the sight of a tall, slight figure, with blazing red hair. She didn't even need to turn around to reveal herself. But she did. And when she did, I nearly died. I couldn't breathe. My mind began to race. A lump built up in my throat, and I could do nothing but scream loudly. Praying that this was some sort of sick joke. A terrible nightmare.

"Alice!" I cried. I beheld in horror, as Victoria held my sister by the throat with one hand. Her feet didn't even touch the ground. And in the other hand, the fiery vampire held her still, bloody heart.

"Wrong..." She giggled. A singsongy, and insane laugh that showed her lack of remorse. "I'm on my side. You're just an after thought...". She let Alice's lifeless body fall to the ground. Disregarding my own life, I crawled from the security of the stone wall, to Alice.

"No! No no no no no! God..." I looked around. There had to be some way to fix this. They could bring her back. She was a vampire. Immortal. We were forever. She couldn't be gone. "Alice? Alice! Please." I begged. "You're okay. You're okay. You're-"

The tears ripped from me like a thread from frayed clothing. It was continuous and painful. Alice. My beautiful sister. Dead. Gone. Immortal life, snatched away by the hand of this phoenix of a monster. Her heart, ripped straight from her chest, and a large, deep, gaping would across her neck. She was paler than usual, and her eyes were open with final fright. Her beautiful ebony eyes looking up at me blankly. Her lips, almost as pale as her skin. She would never kiss me on the cheek again. And her throat...oh. She would never sing sweetly as she danced into the room to greet me. Alice was gone. Forever. I cradled her head in my lap. Stroked her hair. Rocking her helplessly. Praying to whatever deity there was for us, to bring her back. She wronged me. But she didn't deserve this. I loved her. I needed her here.

I heard a loud growl and then I could feel someone at my side. I had no clue who it was. They put an arm around me and whispered.

"Bella...I-" It was Jacob. He sounded like he was at a loss for words. But I was filled with such sorrow. And anger.

"I never meant for anything like this to happen. I didn't know.."

"You.." I started. Anger and fear making my voice quiver. "You couldn't have just let me go..." I shook. "You couldn't have let her l-live! You do this...and then wonder why I could never love you!"

"But I never-" Jacob trailed off. The words he wanted to say were stuck in his throat. I hoped he would choke on them. I didn't want to hear it. None of it was true. None of it mattered.

"I'm sorry.." He whispered lightly. "I didn't know this was going to happen. I didn't know. Please." He begged. His gentle hand rested on my head. But I was past caving in now. I was breaking. Sister, dead. Edward, dead. And my best friend, fully responsible for it all. It was all too much

"Don't touch me!" I yelled. My hands flew to his chest and I pushed him away. His body flew back and crashed against the stone walls at the other side of the cave. After he fell to the ground, he tried to pick himself off. Though his movements were labored and pained. At once, the werewolves about me began to change. Defensively, I stood from Alice's body and faced them. Hissing. I felt as if I were changing too. Becoming something new. Something stronger. And ready to kill.

"Stop!" Jacob yelled. I stared at him hard as he walked over to me slowly. When he got too close, I stepped back slowly. I watched as he observed me. Head to toe.

"Your eyes." He whispered. I scoffed. Were they black as night as they had been, the night I tried to kill Lydia? They must have been. "What's happened to you?" He asked. Then Victoria's disgusting voice stained the silence.

"Strong, isn't she?" She laughed. "I wonder why! Let's play a game shall we? A guessing game. How do you dog boys think that little old Bella could send ol' Jacob here, flying through the air like that? Hmm?" She asked. Turning around and looking towards all the werewolves around that were just itching to change into their fur and rip me to pieces. Jacob shook his head in disbelief.

"You're not. You can't. How? You look-"

"I'm special.." I joked sarcastically. "But I am.."

"Special..." Victoria laughed. "My dear, you have no idea..."

I looked to her, now. Angry and annoyed. I stood before her. For the longest time, I feared her. The thought of her struck an awful sickness in me. Every moment, I dreaded being without Edward, because I could swear I felt her lurking. Watching. Waiting. And here she was. And there I was. Ready. Ready to die and take her with me. I knew I wasn't leaving here alive. But neither would the rest of them. They took everything from me. Edward. And I would never have him back again.

"What the hell is this?" I yelled to Jacob. "You hate me so much, you'd be willing to take sides with _her_?"

"I told you, I didn't know! I didn't know any of this! If I had known that you were a filthy bloodsucker and that you were c-cheating on me with _him_..I would never have touched you again." He muttered.

"I brought her here!" Sam shouted. "She has a bit of information to tell us about the Illuminati, and I thought it may be of some interest." He boomed. The large and strong looking man stepped into the center of the cave with us. I began to shake. Instinctively, I backed away from them. Hiding my hand with the ring on it, behind my back. They knew. I could tell by the way Sam Uley smiled that awful smile.

"Chain her up!" He yelled. At once, the men ran forwards and attacked me. They wrestled my arms behind my back and lifted me from the ground as I futilely tried to fight. They took me against a wall were there were shackles set deep into the stone. They pressed my back against the cold surface, and held my flailing arms tight. But I was relentless. I pushed one man off me. He flew off me. Another man, I scratched deeply in the face. He retreated. But still, there were too many. Soon, I was fastened still. My arms straight, raised and quite immobile. My legs, virtually the same. My entire front was bared to whatever blows they may want to cast. But the ring. It was still on my right hand. On my ring finger. And there was no way I could protect it. I looked before me. A dozen werewolves. Jacob amongst them. And a crazy vampire who was still out to get me, despite that I was now a vampire as well. The deadly woman grinned. Her lips red as her hair with lipstick. Her face speckled with Alice's blood and venom. And I couldn't help but look over to her one last time. My Alice. My friend. I would be as dead as she was, tonight. She wouldn't dare destroy the Illuminati. She couldn't. I tried to pull my hands free. It was impossible. I was drained. Giving up hope.

"What a sticky situation you're in now, Miss Swan." She sang. She began to walk forward. She stood right in front of me. Her white teeth glistening. Her breathing fast. Obviously, she was quite excited for what was about to come. She reached out a long, pale hand and stroked my face, gently. As if she were my lover. Gentle and slow. She twirled her fingers in my hair and grinned lowly. Over my chest, then up my impaired arms. To my wrist. The palm of my hand. To my fingers. I tried to clamp my hand shut so she could not get the ring off. But she squeezed down on my fist. Cracking bones. I screamed in pain. Then she pried my hand open and slipped the ring off. My mind began to reel. Anything that happened to that ring would send the world of Vampire crashing to the ground. I would cease to exist. The surviving Cullens would cease to exist. Victoria touched the blue gem gently. I could hear her breathing hard and quickly. Reveling in the power of the ring. She tried the thing on her own finger, and held her hand up to the torch light to watch the light touch it and the beautiful colors bounce off. Then her face went hard. She slipped the thing off again and tossed it to the ground.

_Stop. You're making a mistake.._

"Don't!" I yelled. The woman looked up to me with an evil grin.

"Why not?"

"You'll kill us! All of us! Don't do it...please." I begged. The woman's eyes went soft. She stepped around the ring and walked towards us. I waited for one of the werewolves to run forth and snatch the ring. But none of them dared. They just watched. Jacob just watched. She stepped close to me. Very close. Our noses nearly touching.

"Tell me..." She mused in a gentle voice. "How did you feel...when you heard Edward die?" She asked. I closed my eyes tightly and tried to squeeze back hot tears. "When you heard him cry out in agony...as your little friends back there dug their teeth and claws into his perfect skin...again...and again...until there was no more. And then to hear the silence. Nothing but silence."

"Don't..." I begged."

"Tell me!" She demanded. "I want to know...every detail.." She snarled. My tongue wouldn't move. I was afraid. And I wouldn't drag my boyfriend's last moments through the mud with my dying breath.

"Because...words cannot _describe _how it felt, to see it! To see James' body burn! Because of you! You and your pathetic boyfriend! So as you can probably guess, I don't give a shit! I don't care anymore! Eternity is nothing without your mate! And if he doesn't get to live as an immortal...then why should anyone else?"

She spat. Tears spilled my eyes. She wanted to die. She wanted to die and take _me _with her because of what was done to James. And as much as I hated her...I understood. I understood perfectly well.

"I want to see the world light up...on fire with our deaths..I won't go alone. I won't let James be alone." She said. I watched in utter horror and pain as the woman walked over to the ring and lifted her foot above it. Moments ticked by. I closed my eyes and searched my memory for the perfect image. An image of him. The last thing I wanted to see.

_I love you..._

Then her foot came down. I heard a small splinter. I waited. But felt nothing. Were we supposed to feel something? I opened my eyes, and the world hadn't changed. Nothing happened. Nothing happened. I looked to Alice. Still laying dead. And Victoria. Smiling. Both feet on the ground.

"Those antiques are so damn fragile.." She said. I opened my mouth to speak, but found it a little difficult.

"Wh-what h-h-happened?" I asked. Then she laughed even louder. I didn't understand. I could still feel my body. We were supposed to be gone.

"You really don't get it, do you?" She yelled. "Haven't you heard the legends of Atreus? The most powerful warlock vampire the world has ever seen? And how he created it? The Illuminati is the most powerful thing that belongs to the vampire. And when Atreus made it, he was extremely careful and precise. Why on earth would he put such an important spirit into that little thing?!" She asked, hinting towards the broken ring. I was lost. My breathing grew fast. Confusion was pounding on me.

"He put it in a person! A Varacolaci. Just like you. A very long time ago..." She grinned. "Now that I think about it, the resemblance is quite remarkable.."

"Marishka?" I asked. My voice quivered. "But she was killed so many years ago. Werewolves. They got her." I fought at my restraints. They began to buckle. Could I get out?

"But not before she gave birth to a mortal son..." She said. For a vicious beast, the woman was educated. She did everything she had to, to bring our race to an end. Then I began to remember. That day the Cullens and I went to Jasper's study to learn more about the ring that was on my finger. And I remembered Jasper's words as he slammed a large book shut.

"_It says in the archives that she may have had a child after she was bitten. But there's no proof or records of the child anywhere in here."_

I inhaled sharply. Victoria smiled as she realized I was beginning to understand.

"And so, seed was planted, and the gift was given and received, and then passed down throughout the family. Like a virus. Hiding in mortals who didn't even know what they were. How important they were. And then...we come to lucky, Bella Swan. _The Enlightened One_"

"I don't believe you.." I said. My body quivering.

"Better believe it, toots.." Victoria grinned. She moved forward, and nastily stroked my jawline with her tongue, before reaching my ear. "It's you. You_ are _the Illuminati.." She whispered. Fear struck me. I couldn't breathe. I felt dizzy. It was me? My death would end everything. Then Victoria's body grew rigid against me. Her eyes opened wide with horror and her breathing stuttered before she fell to the ground. When her body disappeared from before me, I saw that Sam Uley was standing behind her. His hand was cast in her blood, and as I looked at my vampiric nemesis, I saw that he had shoved his clawed hand right through her torso. Her eyes began to roll back, and she began to choke on her own death. Then three werewolves changed and lunged for her. Soon, I couldn't see her. Just a fury of furry beasts tearing and ripping. I nearly gaged. So much death. So much blood and anarchy. And I was next. I watched as they tore at her and carried her, piece by piece out of the cave. The last werewolf, still in his human skin pulled a tall torch from the ground and followed his brothers out with it.

"There you have it, Jake." Sam said, without looking back at him. "We have it. It's over." He grinned. I couldn't believe this. I spent all last summer with Jacob and his friend Sam. Sam even saved my life once. Now they'd turned against me.

"I-I" Jacob started. "I can't...let her go." He demanded with a shaky voice. "This wasn't part of the plan..."

"Screw the plan! We can end this! Jacob...If we kill her, there will never be another vampire in the world ever again! This is what your father wanted! Do it!"

"No!" He shouted.

"This woman has shamed you! You are the tribe leader! You're a king! Do what you must for your people! It's her own fault! She turned her back on you. She was sleeping with that mosquito the whole while you were engaged. You saw them together! Take back your honor!"

"That is enough, Sam!" Jacob said. Uley turned around. "Can't you see that I can't? I-I love her..Ancestors help me..I do."

"Jacob!" He snarled.

"_You_ could just as easily kill Emily!"

"Emily would never be a whore enough to do this to me! And I wouldn't be foolish enough to let her!"

Jacob growled.

"Don't you dare talk to me that way!" He yelled before pushing his packmate. Sam got a dangerous look in his yellow, glimmering eyes. He punched his fist into Jacob, and he fell down. Writhing in pain. I looked to him. Tongue-tied and scared. Tears streamed from me in torrents.

"Please..." I begged. "Please, don't..."

"I need to do what the weak links cannot.." Sam said in a deep voice. And then he began to change. His back began to hunch over and I heard bones crack. His limbs stretched and his body mass grew. Hair began to sprout from his body and he howled. I tried again to pull at my restraints. They wouldn't let me free. Sam stopped his change once he had the height, claws and sharp teeth that he needed. Obviously he wanted to be human enough to see, understand, and enjoy my murder.

"For my people.." He said in a husky voice. Then he raised his large and frightening hand, Sharp with his talons. He stretched his hand back and then swung it towards me. It happened fast as lightening, and yet I could tell that he was going to aim for my throat. Then he appeared. Jacob. Lunging from the ground and stepping before me in protection.

"Jake!" I screamed. But it was too late. I saw as Uley's claw struck itself against Jacob's throat. His hand went up to his throat, but I watched as the blood seeped out in gushes through his fingers. And to my horror, out of his mouth. He began to cough and gag on his own crimson life. He fell weakly to his knees. Shaking. Trying helplessly to stop his bleeding with only his hand. I began to sob loudly.

"No...no...Jake! Jacob!" I couldn't see anymore. My tears stung. Edward, Alice, Jake. Gone. Forever. "God, please..no.." I begged. Though I knew that the angels weren't for us. Not for my kind and not for theirs. Nothing could save any of us. We were damned. Sam stood still before me. Watching Jacob bleed.

"He was weak.." He said. "He should never have been leader. Too young. Too...blinded by love." He sneered. "It should have been me..It will be me"

"You, bastard!" I spat at him. He grinned.

"But I - Bella Swan - am not in love with you...and I will take great pleasure in this.." He said.

I closed my eyes tightly. Wishing I could disappear. Wishing he would do it and make it fast and painless. Victoria was right. There was no point. When you lost your love, everything was over. But when I opened my eyes...I saw the most beautiful sight. And I could have sworn it was a dream. I couldn't even speak. I couldn't even call out to him as I watched him saunter in from the outside. Hurt. Weakened. But still alive, and beautiful.

I watched with horror as he picked up a torch and advanced towards Sam Uley's back with it. He swung it at his head with one hard blow and Sam fell to the ground. When he rose, the side of his head was cast in blood and a rumbling was coming from his chest.

"You're alive eh?.." Sam snapped.

"I guess you could say that." Edward said. He threw the torch aside and stared at Sam.

"Wish I could say the same for your sister.." Sam laughed as he eyed Alice, lying still a few feet away. I watched Edward in his perfection. His bottom lip quivered and his black eyes went cold. He clenched his fist to his side as he took in the sight. He looked so broken. But I knew him. He wouldn't show it now for Sam to see. He looked at me. I stared back helplessly.

"Let's finish this.." Edward said coldly. His voice made shivers run through me. He was ready to kill.

"Be careful.." I whispered weakly.

Sam made the first move. He clawed at Edward's stomach. Making a large gash through his shirt and causing speckles of blood to show. Edward snarled much like a lion would and went for him. He punched the half-changed werewolf in the nose and caused him to hunch over. My prince stuck his elbow out and struck the hardness of it against the side of Uley's face.

"You're awakening the demon, boy..." Sam laughed. And then he began to grow. More fur covered him, and in a matter of minutes, he looked like a cross between a horse and a ferocious bear. Pointed ears, a long snout. Full werewolf. When the change was done, Edward and Sam both ran at each other. When they collided, a loud rumble was heard about us. I began to pull at my shackles so I could help Edward, but they had no more give. I was too weak. But my soulmate was majestic as he moved quickly. Like water as he punched. Kicked and bit. Sam's defenses were going down. I watched as the copper haired man stealthily crawled up the cave walls like a spider. The werewolf below, looked about for him, but couldn't find him. Edward was directly over him. And when he came down from the high ceiling of the cave, he landed on top of Sam and began to pound his fist repetitively into the top of the wolf's head.

Sam shook him off, hard. Making Edward fly from the large mass of wolf and against a hard stone wall. The impact knocked the air out of him and he fell. Weakened. My breathing grew raspy as I watched Uley advance on him

"Edward!" I screamed. "Get up! Get up!" But he didn't. I screamed. He was too weak. He couldn't fight anymore. I saw him try to get up, but he failed. He lay flat on his back and gave up. Sam howled in triumph and began to stand over him. My body shook. I pulled at the restraints again. Trying to gather all my strength. Sam got closer to Edward. I pulled harder. Harder. Then my arms broke free. Again. I used all the fear and strength I had in my body and pulled again. My legs got free. I began to run to Edward, laying helpless under Sam, but I was too late. He began to open his wide-set jaws and show his razor teeth. Ready to gash at Edward. And then Edward's hands quickly shot up. One hand grabbing hold of the werewolf's jaw, the other rested on the back of his large head. He gripped tightly and then twisted hard. I heard bones crack, and then without another movement, Uley's wolf body fell to the ground. Slowly, his body began to morph back into what was once mortal of him. His neck, bent into an awkward position, and a bone protruding from it. I ran. Edward pushed the man off of him and continued to lay there. Looking to the ceiling as if waiting for it to come crashing down on us. We made it. We made it. I kneeled to the ground and lifted him from it. Holding him tightly in my arms. He grabbed onto me tightly and gasped as if he were a drowning mortal, pulled from an ocean.

"B-Bella...Bella..." He sputtered. I cried loudly into his chest.

"Oh God...Edward.." I couldn't believe he was here. "I thought...I thought..." I choked on my words. I could feel Edward's body tremble with silent sobs.

"I know..." He said. And then he began to pull himself up.

"Alice! We have to help her. Alice!" I held onto him. There was no point.

"Edward...it's too late.." I whispered through my tears. "It's too late.."

"No! It's never too- too late!" He sobbed. He tried to pull himself away from me and go get her. "She's fine...she's fine.."

"I'm so sorry.." I cried. I held onto him. He stopped fighting and held me tighter. "She came to help us...to help me..b-but Victoria...s-she.." There was no point in trying to explain. This never should have happened. Then I heard voices. I lay Edward down gently and stood up to defend him if need be. But then Carlisle appeared. And the rest of the family rushed from behind him. The family looked stricken as they saw the macabre and chaos that was about us. Jasper immediately ran to his wife. Everything went into slow motion.

"Alice!" He called. He kneeled on the ground beside her and lifted her lifeless body into his arms. He wailed pitifully in agony. Rosalie ran to his side. Carlisle didn't. He only shook and brought his hands up to his face. He knew it was too late. Esme kneeled down beside Edward and I and clung to us. Emmet, beside her. Tearless sobs ran from everyone's faces. Angry and mournful screams resounded through the cave. Only I could cry tears. And yet, I couldn't anymore. The tears stopped. I couldn't cry anymore. I had been through so much. Everyone had. But Edward felt it more than anyone. I could only be thankful that he was there with me.


	14. A Long Wait 'Till Forever

**Author's Note:** Yeah...so in regards to the last chapter, I know I've confused a lot of people. I am fully aware that in order to kill a vampire, you need to rip them to pieces and burn the body. And I demonstrated that knowledge with the killing of Victoria. However, I didn't see it fit to kill Alice off in the same way. It wouldn't be nearly as sad if the Cullens had to mourn a pile of ash. Alice was beaten and cut up pretty badly. **I had to leave her unburnt for 'romantic reasons'. **

Her death just wouldn't have been the same otherwise. Thanks for your understanding.

Umm..no, that wasn't the last chapter. It was just one of the closing ones. **THIS, unfortunately is the last chapter**. I've had a lot of fun writing this, and **I'd just like to say thank you so SO much**. This is the end of the road. The Nocturnal Pulse series is over. **Endless thank you's**. I've gone through more than I thought, writing this series. Some really amazing reviews. And some that just really sucked and were even hurtful at times. But it was so much fun. Totally worth it. I don't know what else to say. I hope I can brainstorm some other crazy ideas so I can write more for you guys! **Happy reading/writing, and the utmost love! Later!**

**14. A LONG WAIT 'TILL FOREVER**

Two funerals in one week. And though I had anger in the past for those who were buried, I missed them. Alice, who had wronged me by making me unfaithful to Edward, died trying to make things right. And Jacob. I had no right to be angry with him. All he ever did was love me. And his dying act showed that. He saved me. Even as a vampire, I may not have survived that night if he hadn't stepped in and taken my pain upon himself. I couldn't measure with the multitude of tears I shed, how much I loved them. How much needed them both to go on. So much had come to an end. Jasper, was inconsolable. Oftentimes locking himself away. Not hunting. A close eye had to be kept on him to make sure he wouldn't retreat back into the shadows. To go about with his old ways of hunting human flesh. And Edward. He barely spoke. And as we lowered Alice's casket into the ground, his face remained unchanged. That night struck him to the very core. I had to wonder. Would we ever be okay?

_**Two Weeks Later...**_

I heard a slight clatter behind me. I jumped slightly and spun around. When I did, Edward -whom I did not see all day due to the sun we were having lately- was there. Trying to smile. All his smiles seemed forced now. There was so much melancholy in his eyes. He was having trouble letting go. At times, I swear he was trying to convince himself that, that horrible night in the cave never happened. I was an alien vampire. I could cry out my sorrow like a human. He had to keep it all caged inside. It showed.

"Mmm.." He hummed as he rubbed my arms. "Damn the sunny weather. I feel like I haven't seen you in ages-" He trailed off and looked behind me. I lowered my head and tried not to let the tears flow again. I had cried so much upon my realization of what needed to be done. No more tears now. I had cried so much before Edward lately. I didn't want him to think I was weak. I had to be ready for this.

"Bella...what are you doing?" he asked in a whisper. I watched him intently as his golden eyes grazed over the suit case on my bed and the folded clothes that lay within.

"I wanted to tell you earlier but I-" I lost my train of thought as Edward picked up my dark blue blouse and dropped it back in. He looked at me with such anguish in his eyes.

"-didn't know...how.." I whispered. Edward's breathing grew frighteningly fast.

"What- What are you doing?" He asked me again.

"Edward, I have to go." I whispered. He shut his eyes tight. Trying to force my words back into my throat. It was confusing to me too. But it made so much sense.

"This-" He began. His breathing was frightening me. "This is becoming a little monotonous, don't you think, Bella?" He asked.

"How many times are you going to leave me, before you decide to stay? I'm sorry if I've been a little distant lately, but I'm trying. I'm trying to get over-"

"No." I said. "No, Edward. You need to mourn. I miss her too. And as much bad, I had gone through with Jacob...I miss him too. So much. This isn't about you." I said. Tears. Hot tears. I promised myself I wouldn't. I picked up a pair of jeans and folded them delicately.

"And yet...everything is." I said. Edward looked at me with confused eyes.

"Edward. You remember what I am..." I whispered, dabbing at my eyes and staring deeply into him. He didn't look back at me. He looked at my bed. My ceiling. The light blue walls. Everywhere but me. Anywhere but at me.

"The Illuminati. The Enlightened One..." He trailed off. Then is ocher eyes flickered and looked at me. Making me shiver. He must have noticed this, because he reached out his perfect, pale hand and caressed my cheek. So wonderfully chilled and soft.

"Is that what this is all about? Because I don't care. You're still _mine_."

"Edward.." I whispered. "I don't even feel like _me_." Edward looked at me carefully. I would have to explain. I didn't want to. I just wanted to cry and kiss him, and escape the chill of his beautiful eyes.

"Since that day in the cave...I've been feeling less human. And it's not because I'm a vampire now. For a different reason entirely. I feel like a machine. A thing. That's been tampered with. I'm not...normal. I wasn't a normal girl. I'm not a normal vampire. Everything's just so messed up! And.." I sobbed. I inhaled and stared up at him. "I'm nothing but trouble.."

"Bella, come on. Stop being so foolish."

"No. It's true and you know it!"

"You're not leaving me because of this."

"Edward, open your eyes! Look at what happened to Alice when she tried to protect me!"

My boyfriend's face got a sharp look. I had pulled a string. A string in his heart. It hurt him to think about his sister. Gone. Forever. This is why I was leaving. I had to protect him from this pain ever happening again.

"Anyone who tries to protect me will end up getting hurt. Carlisle, Emmet, Rosalie, Esme, Jasper...and you. I won't lose you too." I said. "I won't."

"What does it matter, when you're leaving me?" He jested angrily.

"It means everything!" I yelled. No. Anger. Tears. I was faltering. I had to get out of here.

I packed up the rest of the clothing I would be carrying with me and put it in the suitcase before beginning to zip it up.

"Until I figure out who- what I am...I have to stay away. You have to stay away." Edward shook his head and pulled the case away from me. He unzipped it, and began tearing the clothes out and throwing them on the bed.

"This is ludicrous!" He yelled. "You aren't going anywhere." My shaking hands began to push him aside. This had to be done.

"Stop it. Edward. Stop!" I yelled under my breath so Charlie wouldn't come upstairs to see what the matter was. In mere seconds, before my eyes could catch up with the movements, Edward grabbed onto my wrists. I tried to pry my hands free, but his clutch was tight. With swift and deliberate movements, the beautiful vampire threw me onto my messy bed. Just as I began to rise and prepared myself to tell him to leave, I felt the weight of his body on top of me. His eyes were wild and his breathing, quick.

"Get off me." I gasped. He'd gone crazy. He just stared at me. His lips in a straight line. His eyes pleading. And then he moved in. Closer. I could smell his sweet breath. I could almost taste his skin. He kissed me. And I was in heaven again. He kissed the tears off my face and peppered at my neck with his lips. His fingers touched my hair and he whispered sweetly in my ear.

"Please. Don't kill me again. Don't leave. I'll protect you." My moral was beginning to wean. I wanted, with all my heart just to say 'yes.', unpack my bags and fall asleep with him here. But my tongue wouldn't move. And in my head, I knew that it wasn't right. People were suffering and dying because of my greed. Because I couldn't bare to let this man go. He, with golden eyes, copper hair, and flesh of diamond and marble.

"I should have never come back.." I whispered breathlessly as he continued to kiss my shoulders and collar bone. "If I had stayed with him..none of this would have ever happened."

Then the kissing stopped. Edward's eyes slowly glared up at me. I looked back. Unable to speak any longer. I wasn't saying any of the right things. Perhaps I should just go now before I cause more harm than good. Slowly, I slipped from beneath him. Absolutely trembling from his kisses. I got to my feet slowly, and re-packed what Edward had pulled out of the bags.

"When are you leaving?" Edward asked. Finally beginning to understand.

"At 6 am. Tomorrow." I said. My soulmate nodded.

"And Charlie?"

"He thinks that I'm going to Jacksonville. To live with Rene and Phil for a while." I packed a few books into my carry-on bag for the long trip. Edward buried his face in one of his hands and pinched the bridge of his nose. Obviously deep in thought.

"Where are you really going?" He asked.

"...I don't know." I said. I had never known where I was going when I decided to leave. And now that my plane flight to nowhere was only hours away, the fear of that began to dawn on me.

"You don't know, or you don't want to tell me?" He asked bitterly, as he looked up at me. I closed my eyes and refused to cry anymore. I looked around. Everything that could be taken with me was packed. I looked around my room. Still filled with things. By the way it looked, it seemed as if I might be coming back someday. Would I? My thoughts were taking me far away. I didn't answer Edward's question.

"I'll come looking for you." Edward said. His face was filled with resolve. "And I _will _find you."

I my body shook. I believed him. Every last word. With Edward, I could never hide. He knew all of me. He knew when I'd go left and when I'd go right. How often I blink. When I drew in a breath. He just..knew me. He _was _me. He was buried deep into my skin. And nothing could ever get him out. Did I do the same to him? Was my love that potent?

"I know." I nodded, standing before him. Oh, he looked so lost, sitting on my bed. "And maybe by the time you find me, I'll be ready to stop running." I whispered. Edward nodded.

"So this is it..." He said. He rose from my bed. He stared down at me. He grazed my cheek with his fingers one more time. Then his lips parted. As if he wanted to say something. But something got caught in his throat, and he said nothing. He tore himself away from me and walked quickly to my window.

"Goodbye." He said. My feet couldn't move. And then I saw him begin to bend himself out of my window.

"Wait!" I yelled. He paused. I ran to the window and pulled him back in. I clung to his body. Nuzzled my face into his chest and cried, before I went up on my toes, and pulled him close for one last kiss. It was bittersweet. The best and worst kiss I would ever receive from him or anyone else. No...there was no one else. His fingers held my lips close to his, and it felt like his body was melting into mine. When he released me, I could barely see.

"Bella.." He whispered. His voice wavered in a way that broke my heart. "Swear it. Promise me." He said. I began to cry, hard again. Our promise. The promise I made him give me when we came back from Italy.

"F-forever...I promise. I promise."

_I could never love anyone but you...Ever. _

The hands that held me were shaking. He looked at me as if he couldn't believe this were happening. Maybe if the past two weeks of my life was just some bad dream, we would be okay. Edward pulled me close and kissed me once more, before releasing me and disappearing out the window. And that's it. That's all there is...

"That's all?" The voice from across the study table rang. I looked up and saw the sinister grin of Aro looking back at me with his burgundy eyes.

"That's it." I repeated. "I've told you everything. I held him. I kissed him. And I left the next morning. And now I'm...here. Your war is fought and won. The Quilleute leader, and my best friend is dead. He has no heirs. The line is broken. It's over."

There was a silence now, as I finished my story. The story of how everything happened since I left Volterra after my change. Every little detail, up until two nights ago, when I left Edward. But now I was back here, in Italy.. To get the information I required. To learn how to cope as the Illuminati.

"Bella, my dear...It is never over." Caius' silky voice rang. "There are werewolves all over the world. Strays and packs that would love to get their hands on the Illuminati."

So I had to fight now? I had to put my unwanted powers to use, then. Yes. I would fight amongst the Volturi guard, and let the chips fall where they may. They had said they needed me to fight. That's why they had gone through so much trouble with Jasper and Alice to make me what I am today. I would do whatever they wanted. What else did I have to lose? Everything was gone when Edward wasn't with me.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked sternly. I awaited orders. There was a silence as the three brothers and two of their wives looked each other, then at me.

"There is nothing more for you to do, Bella.." Marcus, my favorite of the three, said gently.

"You have suffered enough. Now you are safe."

I scoffed. Safe? Safe, yes. But happy? Would I ever feel happy again? Would I smile, and laugh, and drink and lay with my love again? Never.

"What am I supposed to do?" I asked blandly. Marcus' sad face splayed a small smirk.

"You stay here, with us.." He said. I furrowed my brows in confusion.

"You mean, to live?"

"We insist upon it. You are a Princess of Volterra, now. Vampires all over, give you their knees. You are vampiric royalty. Tonight, the world is yours.."

He smiled. I looked in between the five gorgeous vampires. They wanted me to be one of them? Did I want this? What did it matter? I had nowhere else to go. Noone else could tell me what I needed to know about myself.

"Well, Bella? Will you stay with us here as a Volturi?" He asked. Cauis and Aro's wives looked at me with sweet smiles. Did they want me to be their sister as Alice once did?

"I-I'm kind of tired...Will you excuse me?" I asked, before slowly rising.

"Of course. Having a Varacolaci vampire in the house again, may take some getting used to." Marcus smiled hopefully. Did I still remind him of his wife? Staying with these people felt right. I did feel a connection. But I missed home.

_No, Bella. This is home now. These are your sisters and brothers. This is where you belong. _

I smiled gently, and bid the five, goodnight. I wandered out of the mighty library in which I told the vampires my story, and out into the hallway. The two days in which I had stayed in this castle, had given me a chance to familiarize myself with the hundreds of corridors and rooms. I now knew exactly where to find my chamber, and Marcus' without getting lost. Marcus. He had become quite a friend to me. He treated me so well. When I stumbled into these castle doors, I found his arms first. But I had to be careful with him. Forever, when he saw me, he would see Marishka. And I couldn't be her. I couldn't love him the way I loved Edward. I found my room and turned on the light. A brilliant and large room with thick drapes, four poster beds. And arch windows. Very antique and beautiful. I was living the way girls in my favorite books lived. And yet I felt so empty. I looked at my reflection in a vanity mirror and beheld my newly reddened eyes. Yes. Human blood had tasted my lips. Aro forced my hand and told me to try it. And when I did, it was wonderful. Thick. Sweet. Floral. I didn't drink from a person, but their blood was presented to me in an ornate chalice. I had let go of the old customs that Edward and his family had taught me, and adopted the Volturi's. So I could belong. If only Edward could see me now.

I slipped in between the lush sheets of my bed and turned over on my side to turn off the light, before resting my head into a feather pillow. But I couldn't sleep. For hours, I tried to sleep, to no avail. I closed my eyes and began to hum a familiar song. One that I usually heard with a wonderfully deep and soothing voice. This song always put me to sleep. My voice hummed the notes over, and over again. Until I could swear, I was no longer singing alone. My breath hitched in my voice, and the song continued. A cold arm slunk it's way around my waist, and cold lips pressed against the back of my neck. My cold heart warmed. I smiled hopefully, and when I turned around I saw golden eyes staring back at me. Soft lips smiling.

"I told you I'd come looking for you..." He whispered.

"I'm dreaming..." I whispered. "I'm dreaming..." I couldn't believe he was here. I touched his cheeks. His lips. His hair. He was real.

"I love you so much..." I whispered. He grinned lightly and kissed me on the forehead. I cradled into him and breathed him in.

"You're my life, Bella.." He whispered. "I'll always find you."

"I'll hurt you." I sobbed. Edward did little, but smile in response. It hurt me. He knew I would hurt him again, and still he wanted me to stay.

"But you love me.." He said. He sounded conflicted, yet confident. As if it were a statement, and yet he was asking a question for confirmation. How could he ever doubt it. I loved him with everything I had.

"Forever. And every minute afterwards.."

**STAY TUNED FOR LILITH FILTH'S NEW STORY**

**CHAOS ENTWINED**

_He fell through my window and landed on the wood floor with a light thud. _

"_Edward!" I cried. I ran to him and kneeled there, by his side, on the floor. I held him tight to me with an unbelievable ferocity. He was shaking. His unnecessary breath was shallow and jagged. My heart pounded in my chest. I could hear it in my ears. I lay him in my lap. His eyes were closed and his lips trembled. I stroked the skin of his cheek. Still smooth and perfect. But not cold. Freezing. When he opened his eyes, they were horribly black, and the tiny blood vessels around them were brilliantly red. _

"_Oh my god..." I sobbed. I had never seen my boyfriend in such bad shape. _

"_Where have you been?" I asked helplessly through my tears. I noticed how desperately Edward was clinging onto me. Fright was in his eyes. His hand shook as he clutched mine and looked into my eyes. _

"_..I-" He stammered and blinked. Something was wrong. "I d-don't remember..." _


End file.
